Cleaning the House?

[AlishaK]

Hello,

I'm not sure where this goes, but when I'm having a hard time I have issues with keeping the house clean. Normally, I have a part that cleans very well, but when I'm having a hard time and my system is feeling out of sorts things get dusty, the laundry doesn't get done on time, dishes that are clean in the dishwasher don't get put away and dirty ones, while rinsed, can sit in the sink for a couple of days. Anyone else experience this?

 

[Sideways]

Yup. My place oscillates between seriously neglected and obsessively clean. When I’m reasonably okay and functional, it sits somewhere in between!

 

[AlishaK]

Yup. My place oscillates between seriously neglected and obsessively clean. When I’m reasonably okay and functional, it sits somewhere in between!

I wish I could convince my teenager to clean up the dishes and laundry....maybe someday.....

 

[Pale Mpress Kitty]

I absolutely have issues with keeping the house clean. I go on intense spring cleaning modes every few weeks or so, but if I'm feeling out of connection with the world I literally don't do any dishes that don't have to be done (they sure pile up). It's not helped by the fact that we have a little house compared to the volume of things we own.

So one thing we did was to reduce the number of plates we have available to us: It's just me and my husband, so it's one bowl, one big plate, one small plate, one set of cutlery, one cup, and 2 mugs each. Then if we want something to eat we are forced to wash our plate right away. Keeps that side of dishes from stacking up. So we're going to implement the same rule for pots and pans etc.

Then we also have the rule that your clothes are your responsibility. That means that my husband knows that if he wants clean clothes he'll need to do his own (unless i get to it on the weekend) and the same goes for me. Towels, sheets, etc all get done on a Sunday morning.

We're still working on our routine when it comes to vacuuming and keeping our living spaces tidy. But it is HARD, so hard, to put the effort into tidying at the end of a long work day. We're also both introverts and get exhausted from social interactions at work, so we're not especially motivated to do anything at the end of the day.

 

[Friday]

I clean when I’m happy, and I clean as part of my routine.

If I’m not happy, and don’t have routines? Enter chaos. Or checking into a hotel. I miss checking into hotels! Room service, maid service, swimming pools and concierges. f*ck me, do I miss hotels.

The happy thing is really vital, though. I need clear lines of sight and a sense of ahhh! when I look around myself... or I stop seeing around myself. I kick into a kind of work-Mode disassociation where I literally don’t see or care what’s around me. It could be rubble, ruin, wreck, or 12 kinds of wrong, and I’m simply untouched by it. I’m in the space, but not a part of it. I can interact with things in it, but It’s not mine. The sense of territory, my territory, ownership/belonging simply vanishes. So in order to clean I have to be happy, and in order to be happy things have to be clean. Less catch22 and more, no matter which side of the line I’m on? It tends to self perpetuate.

 

[Ronin]

Quite a bit of ^^ with the exception of you are not likely to find me in a hotel. More in a way shadier motel I haven’t been at, yet. Or sleeping on trains. Or boats. Or anything else that moves / people don’t all that care for / I can get my sense of safety, back. :sneaky:

Which translates back to cleaning. If I’m doing badly, I not only can’t be bothered to clean up... Objects all around & forming obstructions & hideouts are a wonder thing. I want them, for the main concern I am having is hiding, not being seen, & survivingthesucker.

Parenting was craazy useful for this one, because I could untangle with the kids these are nooot effective bunkers... much less needed. & In situations that need was real? I had a team of allies for my fortress making. Which calmed down the deep jitters even fawking kids are the enemies, & the worst ones. Nooo, and the blanket door has again fallen iiin, not enough jackets for blankets had, and can you please go make dinner for now, we will fix this thing agaain. Si si si, kiddo. I can make dinner. It will suck more than the cave in door & you will regret having said anything. >.> Everything is well.

One thing I don’t even bother explaining to people, these days. Wouldn’t translate. But the abuse/DV need to hide / need to run is not the nearly biggest piece to my space organization bullshit / gets impossible to work on when doing badly, as that is all I focus on, & not the biggest issue my head is at.

 

[Rani G2]

Yep.

Well

A lil bit different mode. In my Mind radius I feel the need to control. Cleaned/ neat place is a controlled area... chaos is unpleasent, uncomfortable. The more I feel depressed the more I need to clean, keep things at most times in order. Other areas can also decay, but things visible must be well designed, even the body.

 

[Ronin]

Neat place is a controlled area

:D

This is cracking me up, hard. The comparisons, I mean. (& Good stick for differences between where I’m at, mentally). The all well your one applies. The not so well back to use the chaos / the same reason crowds turn to relief & can work with it, instead of anxiety flood.

As in give up the need to control, hard... as long as its not in my way & actively interfering with where I need to see, perceive, be at. All of those extra distractions needa move, whether they be clutter, rubble, people, anything else, & I don’t care for them, as long as I can move past them.

 

[Alli D87]

Part of my trauma centers around keeping the house clean... I could never be good enough and all that. Now, out of the horror, I struggle every day to just wash a bowl so I can have cereal or something. sweeping gives me panic attacks, etc.

I know I have to do the chores and work through the anxiety to get better but dang it's so HARD

 

[grit]

If the sink is full of dishes, it is a sign I am falling into abyss. Either I acknowledge and say OK ...will get you guys later and simmer in my sorrow as long as I want. Or I go oooh no wonder I have been feeling so out if it lately....and I am out of the fog.

 

[MyWillow]

Organised and control is certainly something I relate to. Strongly. I guess part of my not so fun journey has been slowly letting go of stuff that DOES NOT matter. Ok so that’s a work in progress lol. I’ve also noted that dog/cat hair and dust also equates to love and a warm wood fire. That helps. Dishes can equate to sustenance. And then I realised that I have other strengths that can be maximised in my work - which allows me to afford to get a cleaner in. That didn’t happen all at once. Baby steps.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Hello,

I'm not sure where this goes, but when I'm having a hard time I have issues with keeping the house clean. Normally, I have a part that cleans very well, but when I'm having a hard time and my system is feeling out of sorts things get dusty, the laundry doesn't get done on time, dishes that are clean in the dishwasher don't get put away and dirty ones, while rinsed, can sit in the sink for a couple of days. Anyone else experience this?

Yep!! I make a list and pick stuff to do. If x things get done, and the dishes aren’t done-it’s okay- as long as I didn’t just sit and accomplish zero.