Sexual Assault Consequence Of Rape

[Bloomy]

I was raped some few years back. Brutal. No possiblity to police report since he didnt hurt me severly enough to have prove that it was rape and not willing consent sex.
I did my best to put this behind me. Been used and abused enough so might sound horrible to other,but sort of came to terms that thats how it is.

Last year I started training at gym. The rapist also trained there unfortuantely. Did my best to avoid, not give attention and such. He harassed me so it was hard also dealing with the triggers and the fear of him.
His friend worked in the gym too. So they collaborate and at one occasion destroyed my bike with brute force.

I tried to put this behind me too.

Today I where at cafe with daughter. Now comes the friend of the rapist. He looks at me in a way that makes me sick to my gut. I just want to spit him in his ugly face.
He is with a woman Ive talked a little bit with - actually lawyer - I know her to be nice. They seem awefully friendly. He keeps lookng at me while he give her a hug to say goodby.

I probably should not say anything. But the ordeal puts me totally out. I tell her the nice version of wha happend. Left out the rape part. She says oh but he is such a nice guy and Ive known him for years. Nice:yuck::yuck::yuck:
So I know - as always the psychos get defended and Its probaby just me misunderstanding the whole ordeal.
I do tell my daughter do why I get upset. I cant manage to just pull my self togheter and pretend like nothing.

I know partly the cause he raped is cause he thinks of me as a whore. Of women like me as no good. Cause I smoked mari when I met him. And only bad girls and no good girls and girls you can do what you want with smoke such things.

I shouldnt tell my daughter. I shouldnt tell her the woman friend of the douchbag. But Im so f....n sick of being ashamed of being raped. Its not my f...n fault that men thinks woman should behave a certain way and if not we deserve what they to to us. They destroyed my bike. You raped me. So get over it. You got what you wanted so leave me the f...k alone will you?
Now the woman will tell him that I told her and they will be even more angry with me and revengfull. Maybe.
She didnt want to hear more from me and with poor excuse left. Had to pull my self togheter. Give the nice version to daughter despite. Ad pretend like normal after.

Dont know what hurt the most? All of it? That women are seen as subjects to certain mens wiew? That I cant report cause I wasnt raped severly enough? Im sick and tired of society hipocracity and how we dont have suffiecent rights and that this is part of what I must accept to live with.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Bloomy Just make sure that you are careful and to protect yourself at all times....

 

[ladee]

You may not be able to do anything legally but you can certainly share with your T And start dealing with what this has done to you.
You can be empowered to get it out.
It WAS NOT your fault. But you have to work to come to that same conclusion.
I Will be triggered to the day I die...but I have an aresenal of things to center me. Ground me.
I am sorry this happened to you, myself and so many others.

Sending you gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[Bloomy]

@She Cat not sure what you ment by that comment?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Just exactly what it says.... always stay safe, and always make sure that you can protect yourself. I meant nothing more than that. You said that the rapist and his friend work at the same gym. Ok, you need to make sure that you are safe.

Apparently you run into these people at the gym..... That's a bit scary. So make sure that you protect yourself.... Being careful, is just another way of saying, be safe. That's all....

 

[Bloomy]

@She Cat ok - unfortunately there is no place that is safe place. Ive stopped going to the gym a year ago. Next thing I know I see this guy again at my habital cafe...Its a small town and easy to encounter people unfortunately when it comes to people you dont want to encounter. He was even with a lawyer who is a person I have considered to be nice, but we have not come any further in the way that we treat people who been sexually harassed, rape or such as its their own fault. Thats the world we live in and what we face day to day.

 

[D'aubin]

You should report rapes, always. You should not care about how the police or society will treat you. There is a good chance that you are not the only victim of the given offender. He destroyed your bike, he raped you. This is something to go to police.

 

[Bloomy]

D`aubin - sure. In a society of justice one would.
When I went to police station to report the crimes done to me by family the poor policeman barely made it trough the rapes done by father and stepfather. When I also wanted to report mother trying to kill me he sighd and made a yawn and said oh really - that too? Dont you think we are done for today? To not speak of when the police themselves tried to kill me. Was lucky to end up alive with only black eye, broken rib and hand,
Its a lot of things Ive lost along this way Im walkin and faith in society as a place of justice is one of them. Sadly to say.

 

[Rani G2]

Bloomy, you will hate me for asking this:

Have you thought of moving away? I know, you definitely have thought about this, you probably think “oh really so you think I never have thought about this?“
Its sad, its a unsupportive environment Bloomy! I am there, with you.

 

[Neverthesame]

I think it would be better to phrase it differently.

Maybe something like:
"You should always try to report crimes such as rape. But should not feel ashamed, if unable to do so."

While reporting these things is super important. While many police officers are what they should be, not all of them are the super compassionate professionals we see on television.
It sometimes can be more dangerous to report, than not.

As sad as that is.

 

[Bloomy]

@Shankara yes I did think about moving away :) I hope hope hope and will dig in and do my best with new job to be be one step closer to that which is now merely a dream. I think Id need it anyways to get soe fresh air after all thats been said and done where Ive been and am living for now.

@Neverthesame in case of rape consider if the burden to report will be more then you can carry since after all youve been raped and you will be vunerable to other peoples lack of profesionality, comptence, fellowshow and empathy. Do what is right for you since you are the one who carries the burden of the crimes society continue to ignore.

I havent seen so many compasionate policemen on tv and in real life they scare the hell out of me.

Yes - its really really sad and I think of it as justice for all has failed us in the so called democracity. Police workers are not educated to be sufficently competent and profesional at all times and specally in case of serious crimes.

Ok ok - some policemen are good at their job. But when so many really suck at such an important public job - sad yes.