Coping With Anger

[Chava]

I've been punching a stuffed animal in the face and probably need a benzo soon. Also have a cheap-o step machine that might be helpful. I've done all I can to manage the situation in real life for now but I wanna kick holes in walls. I'm all amped up. Don't feel like hurting myself but feel a bit like I've been electrocuted.

I can't do calming things and it won't help me to non-stop punch and kick and fidget, but what else helps for hyped up anger feelings? Also trying distractions, just nothing is working today. Trying to exhale because I know my breathing is all f*cked up. I shouldn't even be talking about it because I doubt that helps...but if you have creative ideas for angry energy that might not involve injuring myself//// it's a little too much.

 

[Sammyiam]

I get into the shower or if you have a bath and just let the water run over you. I don't get angry but I do it when I get sad or scared or think I'm going to die. Which is a lot. I hope you find something to help you. Can you go for a walk or is it to cold over there ? Sorry you are feeling so bad.
Sammy

 

[deleted]

I completely understand! I struggle with this all the time-I've been to the hospital one or two times for punching walls a little too hard. :/ Can you go for a run outside? I find moving my body in a intense workout or run helps me vent some of that anger/amped-upness out in a healthy way. My dog is also really helpful in calming me down-if you have a dog try playing with them or take them for a walk/run.

My best advice would try to do something physically intense (workout/run)

Good luck!

 

[Hush92]

I agree with the intense exercise thing people are saying. Go work out. Working out every single day was pretty much the only thing that could release some of my anger. Walking helps me too though....listening to music....sometimes just writing all the angry thoughts down helps me as well.

 

[watundah]

Can you do some of the SE practices you've learned breathing, grounding, maybe put on some headphones and listen to youtube meditations for calming. Sending healing thoughts.

 

[Justmehere]

Tear up paper, cardboard. Or crumple and throw it.

Sometimes I have written angry one word sentences in paper and then tore them up and threw them away or flushed them. Or put them in a box or envelope for therapy. Or later. It's a way to contrib the anger. Be in charge of when I deal with r and when I don't.

It also just feels good to tear up paper sometimes.

Singing to angry songs. Or really confident ones.

Or to shift the anger, I will sometimes try the opposite action. This is a DBT/CBT skill. Sometimes I will sing happy or silly songs. Or write a list of kings I'm grateful for. Or make cookies for someone else. Or watch funny movies or YouTube videos. Or ones that make me feel anything different, like sad feelings even. (I do this when super desperate. Sometimes sad feels safer.) Notice it is there and choose a different action.

Painting is good release of anger for me. Ina a crap painter. It's not about the picture. I will fill up a page with black or red and notice how I feel as I do it. Sometimes it works.

One thing they said to try in CBT/DBT, is to picture the anger and any thoughts or sensations, as like they are boats on a river and they float down the river. Sometimes I have done that, but then imagined lighting the little toy boats on fire, and then the little fireballs floating down the river... (Ok it's a little dark, but it kinda helps sometimes.)

I hope you find something that works for you!

 

[Chava]

Thanks for lots of ideas! I'll add to my little list. I've typically done slow resistance stuff, like pushing against something. And that helps. But this is like anger that won't stop (and probably won't in next week or so unless I can somehow manage it better, because I can't change the situation that's making me f*cking crazy). So my typical pushing, punching, isn't working. I'm in pain also and my heart rhythm is f*cked up (has been EKG tested...uncomfortable, but benign and related to anxiety or stress). I want to learn sword fighting and be proficient in it...right now!! :woot::mad::wacky:

The situation that's making me so angry might also be getting in the way of some positive goals I've had for myself... just a lot that feels out of my control right now and I want to fix it faster. I want to not get f*cked up. But I don't want to talk to my sponsor. I scare people when I'm angry anyway. I'm a little intense and overwhelming. :ninja: And I don't feel like adding feeling abandoned or like I'm too much for anyone to care about or help to my list of shit this weekend.

Okay, thanks for ideas because I think I'll have to run through all of them. Also took a benzo and will take another in an hour or so, but tomorrow needs to be better.

 

[EveHarrington]

Is it time for a brain time-out? What I mean is that sometimes when nothing works, I know I'm to the point where I must sleep because sleep is the only escape that will stop things in their tracks. I won't say how I force sleep because I don't necessarily get there in the best way, but sometimes when I'm put in a corner I just have to make the best decision given two not so great choices.

 

[Panda Bear]

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling!

My only go to for pent up anger and aggression is exercise, serious exercise! It's my only go to for now that works.

 

[Chava]

I've "settled" but it's bad... it feels like I never made it to being real, like I tried and often could be real-ish, but I'm not and I never really made it. I'm not really here or really real

 

[Flossy]

I have a bag downstairs to punch, but find when I am bad, I can't go down there to do it.

The first/best thing I can do is get in the shower, bend over forward and scream/snarl as silently but as forcefully as I can.

Then I swear every filthy swear word I can, sometimes in front of the mirror. Not to me, but to the a##holes in life.

The biggest muscles in the body are the quads. Adrenaline and lactic acid builds up in your blood and muscles. Try to keep your quads as tense as you can even if it is just keeping your feet on their tiptoes while you are driving.

These things are initial responses to anger. It might help if you try to learn how to start expressing that you are angry. Most of us don't know how to do so in a way that we get listened to and respected.

Do some Youtube searches on how to say you are angry.

One more thing, try planking. It makes every muscle in your body tense and then relax which releases tension and adrenaline. I hope some of this is helpful to you. I find I cannot go out when I am angry. I get afraid I will open my mouth and say everyone and then get locked up, because I will sound like a mad woman.

 

[Flossy]

PS If you get in the shower to let the anger out of your throat, wash your hair and scrub all over after. I promise it will feel like a ritual by the time you get out. Besides all this the extreme screaming postures are great for your face muscles. :)