Sufferer Could Use Some Advice?

[Paula2]

Hi all,

Thank you for taking a look. Where to start, ok, well I was diagnosed with ptsd a year a go.. I've struggled with many different symptoms and am now on my second more extensive cbt counselling. I started these sessions 4 wks ago and have one a week. I would say from my second session my behaviour/mental health issues have intensified more than double what they were. I'm an absolute mess most of the time, my stomach feels like I am falling, pretty much from the moment I get up to the point I fall asleep! With the odd 10 mins here and there where it stops.. At work I can barely cope, so I become quite loud and hyper just to try and cover it up, but I'm failing, I can see people looking at me strangely. When I go out in the car I drive passed the hospital, I want to go in and ask them to admit me! My new counsellor has said I have cptsd ocd and gad. Tonight I got so worked up i text the crisis line, they were lovely and asked me what I thought it was that was the problem, rather than being told it is 'ptsd' I feel so much better for that and realise the labels have bothered me a lot because I don't feel my symptoms totally fit, by this I mean that my symptoms are more indicating psychosis maybe? Please take a look below, this is what I described to the person on the crisis line and of which I don't think I hear others say of ptsd. I am currently on antidepressants of which I believe are not working.

"One moment I am in the room with people, the next I am not, sometimes I find myself in a different room and wonder how I got there. I hear noises that I'm not sure others do or if I am just being sensitive to noises that are. Other times I am having a conversation with someone but it takes ages for me to respond because I can't process what they have said I feel I'm not quite there but I am. Sometimes I'm content (rarely recently) watching the tv and the next I am checking windows doors, memories come and go of times so long ago, and sometimes old memories merge with new... My intrusive thoughts/memories/ flashbacks/ sounds/ smells are all mixed up and I have no idea what's real/ truth/ made up or otherwise. This can literally be intermittent all day long."

I would be interested to know if anyone else feels like this? Is this really ptsd or is it pychosis as surely the medication/ treatment would be quite different?

Many thanks

 

[NeedsSleep]

Medications used for psychosis overlap with medications used for PTSD. However, antidepressants aren't typically used to treat psychosis, but they are used to treat PTSD. It would be a good idea to talk to your prescribing doctor/psychiatrist about these symptoms to explore the idea of adding in another medication which may help with these symptoms, such as something in the antipsychotic family of medications.

 

[Chava]

Some of what you describe matches well with hyper-vigilance or high anxiety. Some also might be dissociative. It's hard to describe this stuff. So I'm not sure if I relate entirely, but I do get time mixed up...like all time is happening at once and it's really overwhelming. "Here" is not really here, it's sort of scattered, decentralized, and all over the place ("now" is also all time and everywhere...it's a dreadful experience). I'm doing much better at the basic grounding stuff. I relate to feeling unreal or like the world happening around me is not quite real...or in connections with others, especially if close or threatening, sometimes I realize we can't simultaneously be "real". And I say that in quotes because my reality testing is in tact. I'm not psychotic. I also don't have dissociative amnesia.

As far as psychosis or not, I wouldn't know if that's happening for you or not...or if it's really dissociation, or effects of heightened anxiety. Keep sharing with your counselor and seek a second opinion if you don't feel confident with the diagnosis.

 

[intothelight]

@Paula2 Welcome to the forum!

No one here is in a position to comment on a diagnosis, but we can share experiences. You might want to check out some of the threads/posts on disassociation, depersonalization and derealization. They might be good topics to address with your therapist/doctor.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Who diagnosed you with PTSD? Did they explain the criteria needed to be diagnosed with PTSD. They should assure you if your not psychotic. I have experienced all the symptoms you mentioned. But to cope with the anxiety and suicidality, I've been taking an atypical antipsychotic med. it's worked wonders. So as far as I'm concerned, the label does not mean that the symptoms and treatment sound psychotic. Docs use everything in their toolbox to stabilize me. Welcome to the forum!

 

[Paula2]

Hi, thank you for your responses. I'm totally overwhelmed by all of the different disorders. I actually think they may be causing me just as much distress as the actual symptoms, I feel I am being told I am more crazy each time one is added! I was diagnosed by psychotherapists twice. A year a go just ptsd, now cptsd, gad and ocd... I'm sure I fit more too. But me, I just want to be me, who I was before this happened a year ago, I feel Im slowly losing everything and now I'm losing my identity. If I lose that then surely I have nothing?

I'm exhausted, it's so tiring? How do you all manage? I've sent an email to my dr to ask for something to calm me down. At least until we figure out what medication is going to work best. Let's hope in the meantime I don't lose complete sanity

Thank you for listening and I hope you are all well.

 

[Suzetig]

I'm surprised you've been diagnosed by psychotherapists in the UK because they aren't diagnosticians here in that they aren't generally qualified in diagnosis. Has your GP referred you to psychology or psychiatry - they would both be more usual routes to diagnosis and should also direct your treatment, which is generally both medication and therapy.

 

[Paula2]

Ah, don't be surprised! I'm sure I have just got the name wrong.. I have no idea what their official titles are... They are people my gp referred me to for counselling/ cbt ...

Many thanks

 

[Suzetig]

Referal in the NHS for counselling/CBT would be to a psychotherapist - it may be worth going back to your GP and asking for his/her diagnosis because those are pretty hefty labels to be given by someone who isn't medically qualified.

 

[Suzetig]

Sorry, I should say the reason for me suggesting you see someone for formal diagnosis is that you don't seem to have been told the main symptoms of ptsd or that complex ptsd isn't fully accepted as a disorder - also someone should be supporting you to understand how each disorder might interact and form a clear treatment plan. I've had therapists "diagnose" me before now based on a rough idea of how I was feeling and limited knowledge of psychopathology. Diagnosis can be a very supportive thing but it can also create many more problems than it solves so best to have it checked out by someone who knows what they're doing.

 

[Paula2]

My GP does refer to it as ptsd, haven't seen her since the newer diagnoses. I will ask her. Though I guess my point is, I don't really want to be 'labelled' with anything but seen for who I am. Does that make sense?

 

[Suzetig]

It totally does, and your therapist should do that regardless of diagnosis - I don't think mine has ever really referred to PTSD other than to stop me beating myself up or minimising my experience.