Crying Myself To Sleep....

[theotherside]

Last night was typical...im the last one up..restless, tossing and turning...trying to watch tv to distract myself from thoughts and memories. Of course there is a major migraine to top things of. Floods of memories and i start crying for what was lost. I feel helpless, pathetic and im about to go full blown anxiety attack or flashback. Its terrifying. I think of waking up my partner...but why??? I finally get to sleep around 230-3am ish by holding myself, trying to comfort myself...i wonder how many nights if any my kids or partner has heard me crying myself to sleep?
I wake up in the morning...migrane still there. At 6am i make coffee and do laundry, then wake everyone up...so tired right now...
Not really looking for advice..maybe just understanding. It's hard just getting through an hour, let alone an hour

 

[theotherside]

I meant getting through a day...then there is all the guilt for being sp tired and useless...and a waste of space...and im trapped....

 

[Sweet Girl]

@theotherside I'm sorry to hear you are having such troubles. I too have troubles sleeping due to nightmares, random thoughts, sounds I hear, anxiety etc. however, I can fall asleep early from exhaustion, but I wake up in the middle of the night. My son has heard me crying and getting up and doesn't understand, and I hope he never does quite frankly. Hang in there, it does get better. I've had several episodes of this as memories resurface and each time and more awareness, it does get better. It doesn't seem like it, but it does.

 

[theotherside]

Thanks so much...if i do go to bed early sometimes i wake up at 2 or 3 am and cant fall back asleep and just end up crying for a while...so sometimes i force myself to stay up longer in hopes i will sleep solid...thanks for the encouragement sweet girl

 

[The Klown]

Last night was typical...im the last one up..restless, tossing and turning...trying to watch tv to distract myself from thoughts and memories. Of course there is a major migraine to top things of...Not really looking for advice..maybe just understanding. It's hard just getting through an hour, let alone an hour

I know exactly what you are going through with the migraines. I have them daily. God bless the people that have never had a headache let alone a migraine. The the crying is almost constant. I feel like I am all alone in this battle. I just want it to go back to what my life was prior to ptsd even though I know this will never happen. I look to God and say why me what did I do to deserve this. I have just opened up with a ptsd counselor after living with this for 40 years. My migraines are from a TBI while in Viet Nam.

I am married however I feel like I am in this battle all alone. Especially I was told to suck it up and deal with it. If I am not willing to talk about it then you are on your own. The nightly violent night mares never stop It has only been a bout 2 months since I actually admitted and been diagnoised with ptsd. I hope I made the right decision and my life will improve, or be able to live a normal life. Now define normal.

thanks for listening. I hope and pray your situation will improve.

 

[oasis2003]

Yes I have night mares I wake up feeling petrified and shaking. It takes ages to calm down. I am then exhausted it really takes it out of me . I understand what you are going through it is not good. :hug: