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Relationship Dating Combat Ptsd Vet Please Help

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What should i do? :( should i just let the says go by? Or should i text him? I dont know what would i say .... Please, i need advice :/
 
Reading your post mirrors my own situation... I have no clue what to do either. People say to be open and talk about what you want or feelings, but when you do, the other party gets upset and read into your text the wrong way...I don't know what to do anymore. I love the guy, and I don't want to just let go but I have no clue how to make this relationship work ...
 
Its so hard to give up on someone that you see has so much potential
:( .... The situation got worse , he was sober for a year , and right now he's in jail waiting for his trail for his 4 DUI ... He was involved in a car crash while he was intoxicated and people was injured , so it was the last strike the judge gave him , he told him he would be facing 6 years in prison next time , and sadly he failed again :( I'm heart broken !
 
Be strong for him Den, especially if you love him...now that he might be in prison maybe he will look at his option for better or worst and it's hard to just not love him becuz you've invested so much of yourself to him...I told mine that I feel like I'm digging a hole and it's already 3 feet deep...but I can't seem to let go ...I somehow feel I can help him and I don't want to be one of his females that gave up on him...urghhh it's so hard but yeah...see if you can make a better version of yourself while still trying to have a relationship with him ...I'm trying and it's hard but nothing comes easy but giving up....and I'm not one to give up as of now and hopefully never....unless the other party ends it...then there's nothing to work on an it's time to move on...to be happy once again :)
 
Thank god I've found this site. I had no idea how complex this all is. I'm very new to this relationship and and reading all of your messages and relating to some of this. Only 5 months we've been together and I'm feeling like my head is in a spin with all the feelings of failure and rejection, only to then be pulled back in again and feel love like I've never felt before. I've been in tears for 2 days, now I can see (to a degree), how I need to put my issues aside and give him time and space. He has a 2 week course for his ptsd (originally told 6) in the mean time I've asked if maybe he should get some one on one Councilling but it falls on deaf ears. I don't want to push and tell him I'm here always, but the rejection and reading all these posts I'm amazed at all the similarities and I'm just scratching the surface. Why have I fallen so hard and deep? It's like I can feel how deep down good he is, like he's crying inside and holding so much in. It's all so confusing, I wish I could run but I can't. I get the feeling I'm going to be here quite a bit.
 
Welcome @Jolight From someone else who is walking in your shoes. The difficult part is that we still have so much to learn about loving men with PTSD. The good part, which I never expected, is that this site exists and we found it. Hugs if you accept them, and warm thoughts.
 
Thank you. If I hadn't of found this I would of gone into my little insecure shell and turned it all back on me. But it's like being with a split personality, he says and does beautiful stuff then, nothing...... Trying to read someone with ptsd is impossible, I've got to let it flow and accept that he's different and just be there. I'm hopeful that his Councilling for 2 weeks will help a bit, maybe just a little more open, but I'm a stayer and I don't give up. This forum is a godsend, the confusion I've felt has been off the rickta scale. I had no idea what ptsd was, I just assumed it was a bit like depression, oh wow how wrong was I. He should come with instructions!
 
I wish someone could tell me what to do and I could just deliver the action and everything will be fine. I'm being out on the corner with "I just need to be alone and want to be alone at the moment ". Or "right now is not a good time "... So I've decided that regardless I will be here for him as a friend if he ever need one because at the moment he doesn't seem to need me period. I don't know what to do anymore...I've done the everyday texting through out the day and encouraging him...I'm getting nothing but walls at the moment...
 
You have to be very strong to support him, but also set your boundaries... Definitely expect the unexpected and be prepared for it. Build your self confidence and self worth, in my case the most difficult thing to do is not take it personal, I struggle with feeling unwanted, rejected... Once I told him , I wish I knew what to do to get your attention, he didn't answer anything ... After 2 hours he told me I wish I knew too ... :( You are in heaven and next thing you know you are in hell. Never in a million years I would expect thing to turn this way, I was ready to give up after he didn't even call on new years, next thing I know I get a call from him saying he'd screwed up, he got his 4th dui after almost 2 years sober, he got bailed out but as soon as his parole officer knew he went to arrest him at the center for veterans, he was living there and getting treatment. I stood by him, I saw when they put the handcuffs on him, it's the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, because I proved myself I had to be strong for him. Even now in jail there's days when he isolates and tells me I shouldn't go through this , and that he can't deal with it right now, so I told him I would be there for him, it doesn't matter if we are in a relationship or not, I care about him and that's all to it. The day before his arrest he opened up to me and told me things he never said before, how he feels about me, he said sorry for everything, he thanks me for things I do that I didn't think he'd notice, and he told me I love you for the first time . So however he reacts now, the pushing away and pulling me back, I now know how he really feels and whatever happens I will always be there for that man even if we're just friends. He is in jail now, in the veterans mod and his court date is next Friday, he's facing 6 years on a federal prison, Im hoping and praying the judge will consider everything he had already accomplished, I ask for your prayers and words of strength because we will need it. Thank god for this site, were not alone :)
 
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