Relationship Developing A Relationship With Someone With Ptsd & Tbi

[shortnsweet8]

So I have read many of the threads on this forum, but haven't really been able to find any that help with my situation.

I have met a man (used to be in the Marines) whom I get along with very well, and he has said the same for me. I am trying to decide if it is the PTSD and him protecting himself, or what.

He has told me he is a huge commitment-phobe because many close to him just die, sex is sex to him it rarely leads to intimacy, he doesn't want me to get attached to him because he doesn't want me to get hurt, and he pushes people away in the long run. He and I have talked and I told him I understand where he is coming from, and I don't intend to walk away just because he has PTSD. We have talked about taking it a day at a time until he is comfortable. He eventually wants kids and a wife, which requires commitment.

Does this sound typical of someone with PTSD and TBI? How do I show him I care and am different than the few others he has dated (he has told me stories)? The PTSD isn't his fault and he deserves to be happy like every good man. Am I walking into something I shouldn't? Am I inevitably going to get hurt? Something draws me to him and I really want to be in his life.

I have gotten mixed reviews from my friends about the situation. Some say run for the hills, some say give him a chance. How do I give him a chance but not get attached? Seems opposite...

Sorry for the long post and thank you in advance for any replies. I am just trying to figure out what might be the best for both he and I in this.

 

[shortnsweet8]

Oh, I forgot to add. He has been in therapy since 2007. He currently goes to weekly group therapy. He is aware of his difficulties and treats them in ways he knows that work.

 

[amethist]

Hi shortnsweet8

Relationships for any one with PTSD can be extremely difficult for some.

Reading the articles on the "Home Page", should give you a bit more knowledge of why this is. Maybe start by reading the "PTSD Cup" article, then go on from there.

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/#post-173960[/DLMURL]

This should help you understand why things are so hard for your man. Don't stop reading there, go on and then ask any more questions you may have.

Amethist