Dilemma - T Has Offered To Help Me Find Someone Else

[Lslb]

Been a really bad week this week. Over the last 2 1/2 years I have been with this really fantastic therapist. It took my months to trust her to talk about trauma stuff. My CPN at the time butted in to try and get me to various grounding courses etc which I felt were a waste of time but to shut her up went to them. On the two occasions I had to finish with my therapist as I couldn’t do both.

The last occasion was last Oct when I was told it would be to see someone who could specifically help with answering a certain question - which my therapist couldn’t due to the nature of it. My CPN had said it would only be a six week gap between finishing with my therapist and starting with this other person. Once I finished as she asked it was then changed from 6 weeks to 18 months with maybe the possibility of seeing that person.

In the meantime all my meds had been stopped as I couldn’t be on them for this therapy.

This left me up the creek so I got into a row with my CPN and told her where she could go.

At the time my therapist said it may be a few weeks before she could see me again as she has to travel to see me - which I perfectly understood

Unfortunately now this week my therapist can’t see me again as she is so booked up and has a long waiting list. We could FaceTime but that is not great for trauma work - Which I can totally understand. She offered to help me find someone else etc but I can’t at the moment - I’m just so distraught.

This has left me in limbo - really upset and not knowing what to do. I’ve managed to contain self harm to a reasonable level - but I can’t start over with someone new - I don’t trust easy and can’t go through the trauma of reliving it all again.

I’m not sure if I can put everything back in the box either. I knew once it was opened it would have to be dealt with due to the severity, multiplicity and length of time the trauma happened. Now it feels like an open wound that is so big I’m struggling to sew together. I can’t cope and don’t feel I have anywhere else to turn.

 

[EveHarrington]

Please clarify as your story seems to contradict itself.

Can you go back to your old therapist? I mean can she fit you back in her schedule in a few weeks? Or is she saying you must go to someone else?

If anyone says you need to stop your meds in order to do a certain type of therapy.....run. You are a self harmer who is not stable. This type of therapy is NOT for you at this time.

Can you go back on your meds? It seems you need to as you are unstable.

 

[Lslb]

Hi, my therapist can’t see me again.

My GP has put me back on an antidepressant but I have to go back through the CPN to get back on the other meds. I won’t go back to her as far as I’m concerned she is the one that caused this in the first place.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ok so it’s time for a new psychiatrist.

I’m confused why this CPN was telling you to stop therapy?

 

[Reply]

Been a really bad week this week. Over the last 2 1/2 years I have been with this really fantastic therapist. It took my months to trust her to talk about trauma stuff. My CPN at the time butted in to try and get me to various grounding courses etc which I felt were a waste of time but to shut her up went to them. On the two occasions I had to finish with my therapist as I couldn’t do both.

The last occasion was last Oct when I was told it would be to see someone who could specifically help with answering a certain question - which my therapist couldn’t due to the nature of it. My CPN had said it would only be a six week gap between finishing with my therapist and starting with this other person. Once I finished as she asked it was then changed from 6 weeks to 18 months with maybe the possibility of seeing that person.

In the meantime all my meds had been stopped as I couldn’t be on them for this therapy.

This left me up the creek so I got into a row with my CPN and told her where she could go.

At the time my therapist said it may be a few weeks before she could see me again as she has to travel to see me - which I perfectly understood

Unfortunately now this week my therapist can’t see me again as she is so booked up and has a long waiting list. We could FaceTime but that is not great for trauma work - Which I can totally understand. She offered to help me find someone else etc but I can’t at the moment - I’m just so distraught.

This has left me in limbo - really upset and not knowing what to do. I’ve managed to contain self harm to a reasonable level - but I can’t start over with someone new - I don’t trust easy and can’t go through the trauma of reliving it all again.

I’m not sure if I can put everything back in the box either. I knew once it was opened it would have to be dealt with due to the severity, multiplicity and length of time the trauma happened. Now it feels like an open wound that is so big I’m struggling to sew together. I can’t cope and don’t feel I have anywhere else to turn.

This is disconcerting and I'm sorry that you're going through this. It sounds like from what you've said you feel that you need to see a new therapist but you're worried about how long it will take to trust this person and if you can. It seems like this is a risk that you must take because from what I understand the alternative is not to see a therapist correct? You were given some information that turned out to be incorrect and as a result your treatment has been disrupted. You also need to rely on others (CPN) to provide this treatment and you're not in agreement with their suggestions and/or may not like them personally. This is very tough to deal with and I understand that it is upsetting.

I do think you know what you need to do and what you want to do. You want to forego waiting 18 months for this other therapy because it means being taken off of the meds correct? If so then you need to speak with this CPN if she is the only one you can talk to so you get new medications. If you can get a new CPN then do that but if you can't and you need the medications then it looks like you need to speak with the CPN. Given your past difficulties that will be problematic but it might be necessary. I pray your CPN can look past the past and help you to get where you need to be. Your interactions with her may not be pleasant and you may even want to consider apologizing to her (if you can bring yourself to do it) so that you can get what you need.

 

[Lslb]

Hi - she was saying that it is a conflict of interest and I can’t doing emotional coping skills and have therapy at the same time.

Not sure if you are in the UK so apologies .. my CPN was the link with the psychiatrist. I only ever saw the psychiatrist to get the CPTSD diagnosis afterwards the CPN did everything else.

My therapist I paid for privately - not through NHS which I think was what the CPN didn’t like.

I think I will need to look at going privately to see a psychiatrist.

Thank you xx

 

[grit]

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is extremely crazy that professional mental health people who know people’s trauma still act this. I know it is a job to them and they do their days’ work but seriously. I am really sorry. I hope you find a compassionate therapist who truly cares about you and I truly you do not take these people’s problems onto yourself.

Praying for you.

 

[Lslb]

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is extremely crazy that professional mental health people who know people’s trauma still act this like. I know it is a job to them and they do their days’ work but seriously. I am really sorry. I hope you find a compassionate therapist who truly cares about you and I truly you do not take these people’s problems onto yourself.

Praying for you.

She is really a good therapist - it’s not her fault. When I had to finish with her in Oct because of my CPN she obviously filled my slot with other clients. That’s normal. Also I can’t get into her therapy room as I am in a wheelchair so she came to my work place so it was good of her to do that.

I don’t think I can go back to therapy now it was too traumatic the first time I can’t do it again and without telling a new therapist the background and details I can’t move on with the rest.

I’ve had a few really bad days where little things have set me off

 

[Nessa7]

I think you should take your therapist up on her offer to help you find a new therapist. You have trusted her with many other aspects of your care, so you can have faith that she will do her best to set you up with a good therapist. Would you be able to keep your spot on the waiting list while you see if things work out with a new therapist? You could also ask your therapist if she could share some information with your new therapist to save you from having to start entirely from the beginning.

 

[susannahsays]

I kind of feel like if the NHS isn't paying for your private therapy, it isn't any of their business and I just wouldn't tell the CPN about my outside treatment. I prefer to be honest, but in this situation, I'm having a hard time believing you have any moral duty to give up private treatment that you are funding in order to also obtain NHS benefits.

 

[Lslb]

I kind of feel like if the NHS isn't paying for your private therapy, it isn't any of their business and I just wouldn't tell the CPN about my outside treatment. I prefer to be honest, but in this situation, I'm having a hard time believing you have any moral duty to give up private treatment that you are funding in order to also obtain NHS benefits.

Thanks xx. I am no longer under any treatment now private or nhs. I do t trust the nhs CPN support. As I am in a wheelchair it is difficult to get into local private therapy centres. I’ve just decided to try and re-bury the past - it may not be a healthy option but at the moment I feel it is the best option for me. It hurts too much and if I ignore or pretend things didn’t happen it will be easy to live with xx

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

I know this may seem hard to do, but sometimes you might serve yourself better by letting what happened go, and give it another chance. It is possible she is not wanting to see you now because of your state of mind, your stability and your row with her. But in the end if that does not work out, there is this DBT skill they teach us, its called radical acceptance. It is what it is, best to move forward despite the pain and emotions and sense of betrayal. It is never a good thing to burn bridges, as that has left you with your being in limbo with no medications.

You said you are doing some self-harming, don't be afraid to go to an ER if it all overwhelms you that nothing good can happen with your state of mind.

Your problems with NHS I can offer little as I am in USA, however I suspect that they have an ombudsman or something like it. It may be as simple as them first hand understanding the uniqueness of your situation and needs.