Disappeared In Session Today

[watundah]

I have been rolling along really well for the last six months in therapy. I've been seeing her almost 4 years . I took off last week to take a trip with a friend. Today, I stared out the window, wiggled my leg and didn't want to talk. Totally confused about where that person came from and felt soooo uncomfortable. I have worked with her on dissociation in the past. From what I recall nothing she did triggered me and I am at a loss where this came from! Feedback welcome.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hi there -

I know this is not a great answer - but sometimes things just happen and we change - for example yesterday, I was hurting a lot physically from my cancer and was bummed about it and was thinking about going back on pain meds - today - the pain was less than it had been in a while

I have learned through both PTSD and cancer it helps me not to be surprised by what my mind or body is doing any given day - just try to take myself where I am and be present - good or bad. For me the more I work on staying present the better I do.

Good luck - and blessings - Laurie

 

[watundah]

Hmmm...yes...good days/bad days...steps forward then one back...self forgiveness and patience and the realization that there isn't always a reasonable explanation. Time for breathing/meditation...I wrote a creative piece when I got home that flowed quite easily. I wish I could rope that ease into session. Ah well. Better luck next week.

 

[barefoot]

Perhaps you just weren't back in the space - and ready for the space? You've taken a week off, been busy with your trip, had a break from the work...maybe this is just a bit of uncomfortable time feeling your way back in to it?

Maybe there's a part of you that just really didn't want to be there yesterday? Or that isn't ready to get back into routine/back into the work after your trip?

Sounds like you weren't dissociating? More like you were disengaged? (From the session/the work? From her?)

How was your therapist? Did she seem in any way different/not fully present? If so, perhaps you were responding to something from her.

Next week is another week :-)

 

[GardenGirl0214]

Maybe you and your therapist can discuss it next week.

 

[watundah]

Well, the discomfort level was thru the roof and as a result I didn't want to be there. T was her usual compassionate and sensitive self. Doing more work touching into "parts" and it seems we've found one that is completely antisocial and wants nothing to do with anyone. Interesting yet unsettling..

 

[shimmerz]

and it seems we've found one that is completely antisocial and wants nothing to do with anyone.

Hmmmmm..... And is it possible that this 'part' was partly activated?

 

[watundah]

Beyond activated...she was driving the freaking bus!

That was the first time I see it as a part vs. me just wigging out.