General Disappears, reappears, then disappears again?

[WhyTho]

Every couple weeks or so, my sufferer tends to drop off for several days at a time without so much as a word. Then he reappears and picks up where we left off as though nothing's happened. I don't say anything about it because I know by now that isolating simply comes with territory, but I'm wondering whether it's "normal" to go radio silent relatively often?

 

[Ronin]

Hi. :)

From the sufferer side, full stress cup.

As in isolating becomes necessary for own health and getting stress down to manageable.

There's a thread on here titled What are they thinking? That explains why we the sufferers do that, and many other things, worth checking out. :)

From the supporter side - Ya. The silence can be a little bit maddening.

Can you talk about it being on your mind with your partner?

As you are absolutely within rights to communication about it - and to look out for your needs - and to be uncomfortable. Even if isolation is normal, doesn't mean you have to put up with it or can't change the rules if it's something upsetting you - or if isolation isn't the only issue that's going on, even in the isolating-times... but how he goes about it and other things are more problematic.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Yep... if he deals with stress by isolating, which that sounds like the situation, then it is pretty typical behavior.

 

[Wonder Woman]

I can't speak to your sufferer's state of mind, but I can share my reasons for isolating...

I know that when I isolate it is usually because I am completely overwhelmed. Sometimes, I just don't want to risk the potential that I will harm my relationships, so I avoid when I'm emotionally raw or simply feeling burnt-out.

Sending you warm thoughts.?

 

[WhyTho]

It's interesting because he used to deal by lashing out, and more recently I've noticed this switch to isolating...I guess that could be taken as improvement!

 

[Wonder Woman]

It's interesting because he used to deal by lashing out, and more recently I've noticed this switch to isolating...I guess that could be taken as improvement!

Sounds like maybe he's isolating to prevent himself from lashing-out at you. I would consider it an improvement, too. Still, once he initiates contact again, it might be worth it for you to discuss your feelings again. Maybe even come up with some sort of agreement about how to handle things in the future. So, he doesn't just disappear, leaving you in the dark guessing, because that's not fair to you.