Childhood Discerning Reality From Fiction

[Zurrealx98]

Hi, guys. Over the course of the past few months I have been possibly recovering repressed memories of sexual abuse. My problem is that I have no idea if there's any truth to them. I understand that memory is feeble and that even if I remember things it may not all be accurate (that is if there is anything to remember). And I am okay with that. I'm okay with not knowing details or ever figuring out who it was, although I do have my speculations. I just want to know if it happened at all.

I realize that you guys are not therapists and that to get clarity I need to see a therapist (and I plan to do so as soon as I turn 18 this december). But, I just want to know if and how you guys are able to tell real memories from false ones.

Thank you

 

[BlueOrange]

Supporting evidence is the key to proving something true or false. If you write down what you remember (so that your memories can't rearrange themselves anymore), you can then look for things where there should be supporting facts. If the supporting facts can be established (by checking with unbiased witnesses, or finding records), then that supports your recollection. If the facts don't fit the story, then something has gone wrong.

The undeniable truth is that you have memories that are distressing. That's the thing we're good at.

 

[jenis]

I am struggling with this same thing. I get a flashback brought on initially from something my fiancee said when we were intimate. Now I'm very confused as to what happened and when. My problem is my picture in my mind that I see makes me think it was him. I'm very confused.

 

[Zurrealx98]

I am struggling with this same thing. I get a flashback brought on initially from something my fiancee sa...

I'm sorry to hear that. I know how confusing it is. One day I will be absolutely certain that it happened and the next I'll feel deluded or like I'm a liar. Have you told your fiance about this?

 

[jenis]

Hi. Yes I have told him. In fact my emotions and fog were so severe I left him. I even went to a hospital to check myself into the psyche ward cause I just couldn't believe I was so confused. There were other things that were happening at that time in our relationship that was causing me alot of stress and anxiety. But they told me I didn't need any help and he seems from my story he was trying to help me. But yes that is how it is for me. One day I'm convinced that he tried to hurt me. Then next day I wonder what was I thinking.

 

[EveHarrington]

In my years of getting support, I haven't met anyone who has come to the conclusion that their CSA memories are false. I'm not saying it can't happen, rather the mind has little/no benefit in making up something that could literally destroy our lives.

I'd caution the methods used to verify memories. I know I've had parts of memories get mixed up, i.e. What I was wearing, but the memory on whole was accurate.

It can be a total mind f*ck to come to the conclusion that a memory is real only to have one inconsequential detail proven inaccurate. It's happened to me and I had to reconcile it all in my mind.

Visual memories, etc can get shuffled and rearranged. If you have body memories-------those pretty much never lie. I can fall back on my body memories to tell the truth even if my visual picture memories aren't 100% accurate.

If you have questions about body memories, please ask. Mine didn't start to surface until I became intimate with a partner and I am not sure if you're at that stage yet so I'll hold off.

 

[Zurrealx98]

In my years of getting support, I haven't met anyone who has come to the conclusion that their CS...

Well, I feel like I may have experienced body memories before and I have done some research on the topic. But, I'm not sure how to tell if theyre really somatic memories or if it can be chalked up to normal bodily functions.

I frequently have vaginal and/or pelvic pain and discomfort. I remember laying in my bed a few years ago and feeling something going in and out of me. This was before I had any memories resurface or took my concerns about possible sexual abuse seriously. I remember the thought "is this what sex feels like" popping in my head, but at that time as far as I knew I was a virgin. So I completely ignored the thought and believed it was nonsense. I've had a few other similar sensations occur, but other than that its just discomfort/pain. I can't really tell of these are body memories or not though and i fear that I'm just imagining it.

 

[jenis]

So a little more on my confusion. I was drugged and raped 1year ago. I woke up to it happening so I know how many hours it was that I was unconscious. This happened when I had moved away from my hometown an it was on a dinner date. I came back to my hometown and was a real mess. Living in my car high state of hypervigelence and that is when my dear friend offered me a safe place. I've known him for many years. He could tell something had happened to me. I did not even bring it into my memory for 4months. I was messed up. I don't know but it felt like my nervous system was on fire and thenmy symptoms got real bad. He cared for me and we became intimate. As I was going through this hell of the past year my body and mind were detached. He was and is very patient and kind always. I've been downright mean at times as my body and mind are coming back together. He said something that made me have a flashback of being raped and I got real confused. I have since been listening more to my body cues and realize it was a very scary violent incident one year ago and what I've been going through is debilitating in every way. My nerves are shot. I haven't worked sinse it happened. I have angry outbursts. Fear and anxiety that I'm going to die. Go to the ER. many times and they can't find anything wrong with me. They say it's anxiety and PTSD. This is my first time reaching out really. I'm feeling better all the time but it's really scary too. My nerves felt like glass surging through. Every muscle in my body hurt from tension and that didn't start until 4months after the incident. Like a delayed response or something. Anyone experience this kind of reaction to a trauma?

 

[Gs172003]

I am struggling with this same thing. I get a flashback brought on initially from something my fiancee sa...

My counselor said that memories are crap. One thing I've learned is that you can get the jist with minor details being wrong. Especially if you disassociate.

I had an incident with my husband last year that brought all this to light. He started me having the flashbacks but even what he did to start them I don't remember correctly. But I do remember the jist. Make sense?

 

[BlueOrange]

Anyone experience this kind of reaction to a trauma?

Most, if not all, PTSD sufferers have delayed reactions to trauma. If the bad thing is too big to handle, then we put it aside until things calm down. When things calm down, having the memories hit us can be really painful and confusing.

 

[shimmerz]

then we put it aside until things calm down.

Or until another incident reminds us of the trauma and it comes leaking/pouring out.

 

[jenis]

Thank you for your help on this. I am so thankful for finding this site.