General Discerning Truth And DID Questions

[sunnylove]

Firstly, I want to apologize to anyone who read my introduction a while back. It has been revealed very recently that my friend, the sufferer, was not military and that many of the things he told me were, in fact, false (aside from the retrograde amnesia). I feel very bad about posting false information (which I thought to be true at the time), and I just want to apologize to all of you.

But as I said, many things have been revealed to me recently. My PTSD sufferer was also suffering from DID (dissociative identity disorder) when I met him. As far as I understand from my own brief research into DID, the brain "heals" incorrectly and fills in parts of memories with things that didn't really happen. It is generally connected to retrograde amnesia. I'm still doing my research as to what it's all about. But in any case, how I understand it is that my friend was not lying to me consciously. He was telling me the life story he believed to be true. In my case, I do not feel like any falsehood told was malicious or damaging. We're still discussing these things and bringing it all out in the open. I am trying to be understanding and supportive, because I know a lot of this is a bombshell to him as well as simply being hard to admit and talk about.

He said the DID has gone away. Can something like that heal?

I'm still reeling a bit from his admission the other night. I'm trying to be understanding, but I'm wary of trusting him too much. I'm torn between knowing he's being as honest as possible with me (he truly regrets having "led me on" with false facts he thought was truth) and thinking I should take everything he says with a 50lbs bag of salt. Or not trusting him as far as I could throw him.

Has anyone dealt with DID? I know it's maybe not PTSD-related, but it seems to be something that could easily go hand in hand.

Thanks in advance.
~R

 

[epaklt]

Hi Sunnylove,

DID has always been a contentious diagnosis, not all Doctors agree on it's veracity. For those who do, they suggest that DID can be an extension of PTSD, and that often people with DID also have PTSD. I am no expert but DID is the creation of alters to cope with situations that are deemed beyond the normal coping of the individual. It is usually ongoing, repetitive abuse that is required to create DID. To cope, the person can dissociate (to escape) and if severe enough they may create an alter (personality) to cope with the abuse for them. I believe the goal of treatment is the integration of the alters into, ideally, one functioning person.

This usually takes rather extensive, involved and usually long term therapy to achieve integration. Often, this just means that the alters agree to work together. I don't believe that DID can just 'go away'. I hope this helps somewhat, and good luck with your friend.

Cheers

 

[Midnight]

I have a friend who has DID and also PTSD. I agree that it has something to do with ongoing abuse, possibly since childhood. The other 'personalities' are created to protect the mind, and each uses different tools to deal with different situations and they may not all be aware of one another in the mind. This can cause some big problems, especially when some of those 'tools' or coping skills are maladaptive, even a kind of self harm. Indeed, some facets of the person, 'alters' can be at odds with one another. Dealing with DID is definitely a long term thing, it doesn't just 'go away'. I would suggest that anything your friend says to you is true in the sense that he is trying to communicate something, and also get a need met. When he tells you a story, perhaps think in terms of what he is trying to say he feels, the general idea of the story / memory, and what need is being met by telling it to you, and your reaction to it (sympathy / support). As long as you are keeping yourself safe, making sure your boundaries are clear and staying in your own head (try not to 'over' empathize as this is not helpful to either one of you), you should do alright. Remember that it's his choice, and his job to heal himself, and if he needs a guide he should be in counselling, and that those aren't your jobs. I hope this helps!

 

[Pixie]

Hi R

Firstly, I hope it is okay to pop into the carers section and lend a hand... ?

Just as a background for you, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD well over a year ago now and have only just in the last few months (not sure how long...) been diagnosed as DID also. There is some good info out there on DID if you use the google search and most of it will tell you the same thing so have a search around and read as much as you can.

One thing that concerns me though when reading your post is:

the brain "heals" incorrectly and fills in parts of memories with things that didn't really happen.

I'm have never heard of this before and the only thing I can really connect it too is maybe a form of dissociative fugue where the person actually forgets who they are completely and takes on a totally new identity in a new location etc...

In my own situation (and many others with DID), there is no actual memory at all as the "missing" pieces were experienced by an alter personality and not the host.

As midnight said, it doesn't just "go away" although I know from my own experience that there are times when my alters feel "absent" (for want of a better word) but all that means is that they have retreated to a place inside where I cannot contact or even feel them within... but they are very much there all the same.

I am just wondering if your sufferer been diagnosed as DID by a professional? If so, and if they are in therapy, perhaps you could ask him if he would mind you talking to his psych or therapist in an effort to understand him better? I have offered this to my hubby who has done this on occasion when he has been particularly concerned or confused over something...

Anyway, there is lots more I could say but I'll leave it at that for now... please ask as many questions as you want too...

And again, I hope I haven't offended anyone by popping in here...

Rell

 

[ISupportHer]

Pixie, I am glad you posted actually. I sincerely believe that we have so much to learn from one another. no matter who that other person is.

I will just chime in because I explored this in the past when I was looking for help with dissociation information. Before my wife had a PTSD diagnosis.

I am no expert but from what I remember it is a defense mechanism to a large part. That there is the development of "alters" or alternate personalities. I remember looking at a DID assessment questionaire and one of the questions was asking if people come up to you and you have no recollection of them. That many times, the mind protects by one "alter" taking the brunt of the trauma and the others maybe not really knowing about it much. This opposed to it being amnesia. That sometimes there are actually different "alters" living different lives, even to the extent of varying tastes and likes. I also remember that there is usually one personality that kind of takes control, like a protector. I believe that the goal of therapy is to "fuse" the personalities. At least as I recall, anyway.

Not trying to give definative information but sharing what I can remember. Like others have mentioned, there are a fair amount of resources out there. I may be wrong, but I think this is a difficult thing to treat as far as anything quick. I also seem to remember that this is something that should really be handled by a therapist with experience and training in DID.

There also will be some who just do not believe it can happen. Hell, if someone doesn't "get" PTSD, they certainly will not accept DID. That makes it hard too.

Will be thinking of you!

ISH

 

[sunnylove]

Thank you to everyone who replied. You're all so helpful! Thank you especially to Pixie. I appreciate hearing about your first hand experience.

I'm have never heard of this before and the only thing I can really connect it too is maybe a form of dissociative fugue where the person actually forgets who they are completely and takes on a totally new identity in a new location etc...

In my own situation (and many others with DID), there is no actual memory at all as the "missing" pieces were experienced by an alter personality and not the host.

I think you're right about the dissociative fugue. Or possibly even dissociative amnesia? In all my reading, I think I was putting things together wrong.

I have a few more questions, but don't have time for them just yet. I wanted to say thank you, though. You guys are wonderful!

 

[Pixie]

Hi R... again (and thank you ISH for letting me know it is okay to post here!)

I've been thinking about this ever since I posted yesterday and a few things still bothered me, whether it is dissociative fugue, amnesia or DID.

The thing to think about is why he thought he was in the military when in fact he wasn't (is this proven that he wasn't?). To me that doesn't make any sense.

If it was an "alter" who was out, they would have to have a reason as to why they would lie like that as the aim of an alter generally is to protect the system and they only ever do things for a reason (convoluted as it may seem to everyone else and even sometimes contradictory). They have no reason to lie as they can hide inside if they must and as they hold the memories, why would they "tell" the host something else that was obviously false?

If it is dissociative fugue or amnesia, my question then would be, why did he not realise that he had nothing at all in his possession that would indicate that he had been in the military at some point? A photo, a diary, a medal and certificate? I would be very surprised if he believed that he was in the military, that he wouldn't be concerned that there was absolutely nothing in his possession that indicated that this was the case. If it was fugue or amnesia, usually in those instances (and I am NO expert... just using logic here) the person would know that there was something missing in their past and be confused about it, but I doubt they would make something up like that and believe it themselves. I could understand if they were covering up their "missing memory" but to believe it? I'm sure they would realise that they are lying at the time.

I hope I haven't offended you but I am just concerned that things don't seem to be adding up in my mind and no matter which way I look at it, I cannot find a reasonable explanation for these things. Perhaps there is one and I've just not thought of it yet but those are my concerns for now.

Just as a quick "info" download... a few here have indicated that from what they know, the goal of DID is to integrate or "fuse" the alters into the host personality. I think more and more therapists and multiples are now leaning towards having their "system" (a word used to encompass all alters within a person) work together rather than integrate. Imagine if you were a person with your own ideas, values and beliefs and someone was trying to convince you to merge with someone else with other ideas, values and beliefs. I'm guessing most people would be very opposed to losing their "identity" like that. It is the same for alters. They don't want to be "lost" or to disappear. They took much hurt and pain for the host and deserve healing and a life as much as the host does. The aim of my therapy is not integration as such, but rather to open up communication and get all of my alters on the same page but also understand that they have differing opinions and beliefs etc...

Sorry for the "lecture"... just trying to clear up a common misnomer. I know that most info out there talks about integration but I think the tide is turning on that one...

Rell

 

[CCurry]

Hi R... again (and thank you ISH for letting me know it is okay to post here!)
Rell

I agree with ISH Pixie it is a blessing to talk to other sufferers especially since I'm in a situation where he isn't quite stable to handle my questions, so please continue to give us carers insight.

Oh I and I have nothing to add about DID, I'm still learning about PTSD... but goodluck sunnylove.

 

[Nicolette]

Sufferers are most welcome in this area. They just need to remember that they are talking to Carers and that sometimes a Carer's perspective is different so they shouldn't force their views upon them. Same goes the other way around. Sharing information and life experience is an invaluable tool that we all should not ignore. It is enlightening to us who don't know to hear from a person who actually has first hand experience. Sometimes there is no right or wrong either as two people can have different experiences with the same situation. The key is to share.

Thanks Rell for your input :)

 

[Pam]

My mom was schizophrenic. When she was younger, she imagined herself to be all kinds of people. She once considered herself to be a pilot and was even taking flight school classes related to the mathematical fundamentals of flight. These were classes she could not have handled when she was just herself. She did well. I have her class notebook. The level of mathematic calculations just floors me. Later in life she would often consider herself the wife of a doctor, or even a young mother with a new baby in her arms. When she was just herself she would stare blankly at you if you tried to get her to admit that these imaginations were impossible. When she was in her roles, you couldn't convince her of anything else but the role she was playing. Inbetween normal and "out there" phases, she was hypervigilent and constantly paranoid. My brother also is schizophrenic to a near carbon copy of the symptoms his mother had, though we were removed from her care when he was 6 years old. I wonder if DID can be confused with schizophrenia?

 

[anthony]

There are actually far simpler answers to this, especially with trauma. If the person has suffered trauma, then it doesn't have anything to do with DID, amnesia or anything else as such. IF the person has PTSD, exactly what you described is encompassed within the PTSD diagnoses. Basically, what you stated about the brain is associated to PTSD, not DID or any other diagnosis. It is perfectly normal of PTSD to create trauma, to create things that never happened.