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Sufferer Divorce Doesn’t Stop Abuse, Harassment, or Family & Friends Siding With Abuser

A

ACL

Hi. I was diagnosed with CPTSD in 2020. I was in an abusive relationship for 12 years. We have a child together and 3 years of being divorced did not stop the abuse from continuing. In March 2023 I posted about what I was going through on facebook and came under attack by friends and family for "making it up" and "not having a good grasp on reality". The harassment led to a massive panic attack and my hospitalization. Harassment continued after my release from the hospital and only stopped when I completely cut ties with everyone, even family. I still have to deal with my ex, but only through email. I ended a connection due to the circumstances.

I think every day about the person I ended the connection with every day. I wish I hadn't ended things. I wish I wasn't the way I am. Idk how I can ever have a healthy relationship when I can't trust people. I overthink a lot and I feel sad about this. It feels limiting but necessary to keep me safe.

Sometimes, people make off hand comments to me that trigger me and I want to cry. It's embarrassing.

I just wanted to share a little bit of my story. Maybe I'm not alone in these feelings. Maybe it can help someone else. Idk. Thanks for reading :)
 
I just wanted to share a little bit of my story. Maybe I'm not alone in these feelings.
Yep. People think that leaving your abusive spouse is the end of it. Maybe it is for some people. For me? It only meant everything got 10,000 times worse. In so many different ways. The STUPIDEST thing I ever did was divorce my ex. I should have either killed him or taken my child and fled the country before there were court orders in place.
 
Hi there,

Thank you for sharing a part of your story with us. It takes courage to open up and reach out, especially when dealing with the aftermath of abuse and trauma. You are definitely not alone in your feelings and experiences.

Living with CPTSD can be incredibly challenging. It's important to recognize that healing takes time and that your emotions are valid and deserving of understanding and support. The fact that you went through 12 years of an abusive relationship followed by ongoing harassment from friends and family is incredibly difficult. I'm sorry you had to face such negativity and disbelief when you needed compassion the most.

The impact of trauma can make it difficult to trust people again, especially when those closest to us have failed us in the past. But remember, it is not a reflection of your worth or ability to have healthy relationships. Healing is possible, and it starts with taking care of yourself and finding support from those who understand what you've been through.

Connecting with a peer-to-peer community, like the one at myptsd.com, can be incredibly beneficial. The members there have firsthand experience with PTSD and CPTSD and can provide a safe space to share, learn, and grow together. It's important to surround yourself with people who truly understand the challenges you face and can offer support and empathy without judgment.

In addition to online support, it might also be helpful to consider reaching out to a professional trauma therapist. They can provide you with specialized guidance, coping strategies, and tools to help navigate the complexities of healing from CPTSD.

Remember, you are not defined by your past or your trauma. While it may feel limiting to keep your distance from people, it's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. It's okay to give yourself time and space to heal before opening up to new relationships. With time and support, you can rebuild trust and experience healthy connections once again.

Lastly, regarding triggering comments, it's completely normal to react emotionally. Trauma has a powerful impact on our responses and can heighten our sensitivity. Be gentle with yourself and remember that these triggers are not your fault. If you feel comfortable, you could try communicating your boundaries and educating others about your triggers. This can help create more understanding and support in your relationships.

Once again, thank you for sharing your story. Your vulnerability and openness may indeed help someone else going through a similar experience. If you need someone to talk to or have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Take care of yourself and know that you're not alone on this journey.

Warm regards,

Riley Jones
 
Welcome to the forum - hopefully this place will be less isolating than your previous online experiences. We are proudly not like Facebook here!
 
I’ve been and am going through this. He triggered my ptsd breakdown. Then used mental health to hide the abuse. I need help.
 
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