Do Any Of You Have Black And White Thinking?

[J_trustno1]

It is more like yes or no approach. More of scientific than in between answers? I was told by my T that I think in terms of yes or no and I cannot accept answers which are in between because they tend to confuse me and don't sink in with my understanding of things? Does anyone here think this way? For example: there is a situation which can be looked in both ways but you either choose the positive side of it or the negative side of it but you stick strongly to your belief?

 

[TimeToHeal]

Yes, I am a very black and white thinker. It's so much easier than gray! People are either good, or they are bad, there is no in between.

I was always told this was a borderline (BPD) trait....Perhaps it's also common with cPTSD??

 

[J_trustno1]

I have no idea. I can't seem to come to grey. It is almost impossible for me. I see grey line as being a hypocrite not trying to put those people down but the kind of people I have seen in my life (abusers) were diplomats. I have always stayed with my principals and I can never change my view unless I have a strong evidence of me being wrong. Not saying that I am a narcissist or anything. But I can't go on changing my principals because the kind of people I've lived with were just double faced ****. I think it is do with the abuse perhaps.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't understand the grey area. I grew up in a household where I could never trust the words or actions of my mother. It boils down to the grey area being untrustworthy and unsafe. Black is safe. White is safe. They are defined. Grey is not safe because it is undefined. I'm only like this in relationships it seems. I can trust the grey area of everything else.

Grey is confusing. I hate it.

 

[J_trustno1]

@Solara : OMG,,, I feel same about the grey area. It is an area which makes me confused thus making it difficult to trust it.

 

[duff]

I think I have a different experience, though I can certainly understand and empathize with all that has been said here so far.

The environment I grew up in was SO black and white, firm and unbendingly strict in so many ways, most of my black and white thinking has stemmed from things I've internalized from that time, and the terrible things I experienced. Flexible thinking and finding a position in between CAN be quite difficult for me - sometimes it will take me years to flex on an issue - but it always feels better when I get there. My black and white thinking feels like remnants of the trauma, and so deconstructing it piece by piece has been a big part of my therapeutic process. It helps me that I feel like I'm working to become less like my parents in this process - I have deep sympathy for those of you where it feels the opposite.

 

[Lucycat]

I was at a charity quiz on Saturday. My black and white thinking caused me grief. As far as I am concerned a quiz question has a right answer and all other answers are wrong. Simple.

However as this was to raise money for charity there was the option of 'buying' the right answer. This so went against my sense of justice, of right and wrong. I did not want to be a part of this. I stayed, because I knew I was behaving like a toddler having a tantrum - and it was all for a good cause. But I did not like it.

I discussed this with others after the event, and nobody understood the problem. But I know that paying to cheat is definitely grey!

 

[Al_Lurker]

@jess_trustno1 I'm not a sufferer and am innately capable of understanding both gray and each side of an argument. I consider this ability to be a gift even though I hate politicians. I can say this though, the woman that I love who is undiagnosed definitely thinks in the terms you describe. Despite knowing one another for 3 years as friends and nearly another as a couple I went from the most trusted man in the world, "You're everything I ever wanted" to "The trust is broken and cannot be repaired." in 3 days. I admit, I acted childishly and didn't handle my emotions well but that one incident was enough to end the relationship. No second chance, no discussion, no attempt to reconcile. I have struggled mightily to understand how that can be but as I read threads like this one I gain more understanding.

 

[ms spock]

Yes I have black and white thinking. It was a survival technique I learnt as a child. I had to split things off or go crazy and totally insane.

 

[DharmaGirl]

It is a common trait with PTSD, and the American culture in general. Either you are with me, or against me. That is so black and white and so untrue. It is easier to see just the black and white, but the world is made up of grey areas. It takes a while to embrace the grey.

 

[anthony]

I was always told this was a borderline (BPD) trait....Perhaps it's also common with cPTSD??

No. This is a very human trait... it's purely exacerbated to the extreme with PTSD, in that PTSD often loses the grey area altogether. That is one part of learning to manage PTSD, reintroducing grey to your thinking. Life isn't black or white, that is a fallacy within the brain. It can exist without PTSD, let alone with it. But having what is defined as a normal spectrum, which is black, white and grey, gives balance to more complicated decisions. People are not good (black) or bad (white), they are complicated (grey), as a majority. There are extremes of both, though the majority of humans are grey.

 

[ms spock]

And I can get lost in the shade of grey as well. I am a mass of contradictions.