munkinmama
Silver Member
I am struggling so much right now it hurts. I have cried so much lately I am exhausted and can not shed another tear. I feel hurt. Today is a day I ask myself why do i have to have the labels I do. Why can I not be like the "normal" people who can go about their day to day life without a second thought. Even when I am hurting I still give so much to others not expecting anything back. Are these labels I have a curse? Am I some diseased people who needs to be separated from others so they do not catch what I have? My anxiety is like a monster that is waiting to around the corner to strike. My PTSD somedays prevents me from enjoying things I used to. My life now is at the end of a leash and even having my Service Dog is a curse. My disabilities, my labels are not what people can see when they look at me so I am always being questioned and having to justify but why do I have to? How can i feel any sort of comfort when I feel so alone. I feel the all familiar feeling of my chest tightening as the panic sets in. What do I do now? So many changes in such a short time and changes I do not want to happen. My security in knowing that certain things were going to happen and when but now that is gone. I know have to worry about the new people and adjust once again. I hate being told oh you can do it you were able to (blank situation) No one is walking in my shoes and has the right to tell me I am ok. What am I referring to well my church s making me go to another congregation that meets later because of my Service Dog. Some mystery woman is apparently have an allergic reaction to my Service Dog BUT she is on the other side and has zero contact with my dog. She was fine for 3 weeks and now some of my routine that I was starting to get back has been uprooted. I have made it clear I do not want to go but I go the feeling I have no choice. I was not allowed to attend for 18 months because of my Service Dog and now this. So lost.
