Do PTSD Episodes Feel Sureal Afterwords To You Too?

[Acquiescence]

Definitely feel that! It's like we try so hard to block ourselves off and barricade ourselves from the emotion because of how much it hurts to think about. During the course of the day I get little glimmers of memories trying to poke through but I try my best to keep them away. It's only sometimes they absolutely attack me.

 

[Nishkaa]

Yes, you are dissociating. Separating the memory of the event from feelings about the event. It is very common for PTSD sufferers to experience this. I do it, and my therapist tells me that one of my goals is to be able to tell my story with emotion and be in control so that the memories are no longer triggering. I hope this makes sense.

That makes a lot sense to me as well.

I don't know exactly, is it also called "depersonalization" to be able to recite it without emotion, yes it's definitely dissociation, the affect not matching the story. I also used to just laugh about it, which wasn't a very connected feeling either, but made it easier for me to say it, that might be another form of subtle dissociation, as in minimization-- blocked how I felt and from others feeling my emotions as well, it was an attempt at containment, consciously or unconsciously by habit even. I think laughing about it was to help relieve other's anxiety about it, but I don't think that actually worked either ;-)

I know I've been emotionally numb, my emotions fragmented and that seems to be some of the lessons of some of my flashbacks, and it's been really frightening for me to experience I guess these "unowned" emotions. Felt very disorientating. Made me feel panic and fear too.