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Do You Ever Fear That People Will Dismiss You If You Tell Them?

#13
I got mine while I was still working but all I would tell people was that he was an alert dog. Several of them were super pissed because they wanted the whole story. They didn't give a crap about what was happening with me....they just wanted to be in the know. It was really disheartening. Not surprising...just disheartening.
I had a similar experience telling friends about how I was havig flashbacks; and thus far I am down 1 “friend”. Honestly I am the sort of person who is kind to all people and I’ve decided that I need to have that compassion in my friends. No more all give and no take. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve wasted on this friend and her problems so from now on when I meet “emotionally clingy” people I stand up and leave! Accept that some people are jerks and find the ones that aren’t. And, there are always positives and negatives to situations. So the negative here was that I lost a friend; the good news is that I have so much more time to myself as I was always tending to her emtotuinal wounds.
 
#14
I had a similar experience telling friends about how I was havig flashbacks; and thus far I am down 1 “friend”. Honestly I am the sort of person who is kind to all people and I’ve decided that I need to have that compassion in my friends. No more all give and no take. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve wasted on this friend and her problems so from now on when I meet “emotionally clingy” people I stand up and leave! Accept that some people are jerks and find the ones that aren’t. And, there are always positives and negatives to situations. So the negative here was that I lost a friend; the good news is that I have so much more time to myself as I was always tending to her emtotuinal wounds.
You are not really down a friend, though. Friendship is a two-way street. Sounds like you were being her friend, but she was not being a friend to you. Therefore, you really didn’t lose a friend.

Enjoy your extra time. Maybe it will provide you the opportunity to make a new, real friend.
 
#15
You are not really down a friend, though. Friendship is a two-way street. Sounds like you were being her friend, but she was not being a friend to you. Therefore, you really didn’t lose a friend.

Enjoy your extra time. Maybe it will provide you the opportunity to make a new, real friend.
Thank you for saying that!! I told her the same thing! Basically I have been believing that you were my best friend and that wasn’t the case. Omg the time I wasted on her makes me want to barf!! Yes new friends! I knew for a very long time she was lying to me. Finally about 2 years ago I started keeping a diary and noting all of the things I thought she was lying about. I would send her a text message saying “I think you are lying”. Finally I got to upset and including take it anymore I just told her enough!! I’ve had enough and - this is new- we are now acquaintances!!! I am trying to do away with “extremes”...I am so happy you see my point of view here it really helps me!! Thank you all!!!
 
#16
Thank you for saying that!! I told her the same thing! Basically I have been believing that you were my best friend and that wasn’t the case. Omg the time I wasted on her makes me want to barf!! Yes new friends! I knew for a very long time she was lying to me. Finally about 2 years ago I started keeping a diary and noting all of the things I thought she was lying about. I would send her a text message saying “I think you are lying”. Finally I got to upset and including take it anymore I just told her enough!! I’ve had enough and - this is new- we are now acquaintances!!! I am trying to do away with “extremes”...I am so happy you see my point of view here it really helps me!! Thank you all!!!
I'm glad you had the strength to assert yourself, and say enough is enough. Good for you!

I truly am sorry, too. I know it hurts to realize that someone you cared about, never really did care about you.

Also, I get not wanting to go to extremes. However, if you find yourself falling back into the same (familiar) pattern of a one-sided friendship with her, I hope you'll kick her to the curb; instead of sacrificing your own well being.
 
#17
I'm glad you had the strength to assert yourself, and say enough is enough. Good for you!

I truly am sorry, too. I know it hurts to realize that someone you cared about, never really did care about you.

Also, I get not wanting to go to extremes. However, if you find yourself falling back into the same (familiar) pattern of a one-sided friendship with her, I hope you'll kick her to the curb; instead of sacrificing your own well being.
Thank you for supporting me! I really appreciate the kind words of support. I think we’ve all experienced so much negative that Hearing kind words is so much more warming to us/me!!
 
#19
yep. Because of my background (military and 911) ptsd comes with an overwhelming amount of shame. It's thought of as not being able to handle your own crap, being weak, being somehow less than others, blah blah. Even after all this time I have very few people IRL who know I've been diagnosed because the stigma is so high. It's a big part of why my support group is an anonymous forum

The stigma is slowly changing, which will hopefully help in the future but for me? not so much.
TODAY is the future!
 
#21
Being vulnerable is a very scary thing to be. To open up about our past hurts and our future fears puts us in a place of being very vulnerable and everything about PTSD and trauma tells us to be protecting ourselves. You are at a very good place in your healing when you are willing to do that. To open up with others. To forge a new relationship with a therapist, in person. I know this CV19 thing is a pain and is holding many of us back from therapy the traditional way. Praying its over soon so we can get back to our healing. In the meantime, now is a good time to dig into journaling, self-care, coping skills, reading about PTSD and trauma and ways to further or healing.
 
#22
Ouch, that hits home, somewhat. That fear can be founded in fact, as I cannot help being jealous of people who had accepting and loving parents, and in my young adult years I indeed got "dismissed" by a set of potential social contacts who left me isolated after discovering I had some "baggage". I didn't handle that bit of criticism well back then.
I save discussions of my issues for forums like this and therapists. Brief mentions of having some PTSD issues re: certain things helps deflect some potentially triggering conversations and deflect, change the subject.
This hits home because it's probably most of why I find myself without any close friends or family, I fear letting anyone in after a number of times potential partners discovered my trouble with nighmares. I have aquantences and colleagues, I keep it that way and only become good friends with my pets.
 
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