Poll Do You Feel Like A Victim?

[DharmaGirl]

I would have to say none of the above. My trauma was so young that I know it couldn't have been my fault, but it did feel like my fault for years. If I was the best little girl in the world, it wouldn't happen. Now I feel like what happened caused damage to my brain, and I am busy fixing it, and learning how to care for myself.

 

[Poofycat]

I voted 'survivor' because, obviously I'm still here so I have 'survived' so far. My core belief is that everything that happened to me was my fault so I'm not a victim or a fighter. I deserved whatever happened to me. This view has not made my life better so I vehemently disagree with your assertion that

people who feel responsibility for their trauma tend to break the pattern of victimization/reenactment and lead better lives than those who feel helpless and victimized

. That's a bunch of bullshit and it makes me mad that someone actually thinks that. Where did you read that?

 

[Lotis]

I have to vote 'None of the Above'....I would hate being called a victim...it just does not resonate with me. I am not a survivor because my whole self didn't survive - parts were broken and are still broken today. Because I lived does that make me a survivor? Because I was abused does that make me a victim? Being a victim sounds like a statistic and I am not a statistic.... survivor sounds like someone who is strong and I am not strong. I am not a fighter in fact I see myself as weak. I guess if I had to categorize myself I would say I am a product of my abuse....funny how I call it my abuse isn't it? I am alive but a shadow of who I was supposed to be.
~L

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes me too @Lotis .

 

[EveHarrington]

I answered the question in the poll, not the thread title------as they are two different questions to me.

I don't feel like a victim anymore, but I know I am one. Being a victim is ok. It does not mean I am weak or that anything is wrong with me. It merely means that I was victimized.

If I reject the victim label-----

I wasn't victimized------

Therefore I wasn't traumatized-----

And this is be denying the truth of having PTSD.

I was victimized, and it's ok. It says a lot about my perpetrator, not much about me. I was a child, and children are inherently vulnerable.

This is just how I feel. Whatever reasoning makes you feel ok, all the better.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

None of the above. I am responsible for myself and I have to deal with the consequences of my own bad choices from now on.

 

[Iamsensative]

Imagine, needing to review responses to figure out, I still have no clue. I have only survived, but living, enjoying life, no how to have fun for myself..clueless. Still working someday soon I really have to fight to survive. Oh man this is a confusing one.

 

[Marlin]

I read that people who feel responsibility for their trauma tend to break the pattern of victimization/re...

A terrible crime was committed against me. I was not killed. That would technically make me a victim and a survivor. I think of myself more as a survivor, only because that word carries strength. The word victim implies weakness. I am responsible for my life, but blame and fault are loaded words. To say any of it was my fault lessens the guilt of the criminal. To blame only the criminal eliminates my responsibility. yes, I'm responsible for my actions. Yes I made a mistake getting into harms way. It was the criminal who was a bad person. Not me. But taking responsibility and admitting any kind of a mistake whatsoever on my part should not, but does, make the crime less heinous to some.

 

[loui50]

My assignment from my T for this week is to think about what it means to be a survivor. i cant figure that out!! I dont feel like a survivor. I was not a victim as my traimas are natural disaster and witness to a horrific shark attack. Some days i feel like a fighter, most days i don't.

 

[Missycat]

I selected 'none of the above' - its weird actually cos my T actually asked me a while back and then raised it again recently ( she must have jotted down that id not answered her , tut thought id got away with that one lol) . My response to her was that i dont classify myself as either - im me and im not overly fond of been pigeon holed to be either one. I do still blame myself for what happened regardless of how young i was when it all started and regardless of how many times im told it isnt my fault. Maybe thats why i cant choose which one i am?

 

[aut555]

Excuse me, yes, l was a victim. Sorry if this makes you squirm. Being a victim has turned me proactive, l am at this website. I went to a therapist. I left my marriage, and my dog, and my cat. At some point l am now allowed to be a survivor, especially when my t said abused woman rarely leave and almost always go back to the abuser. So apparently l am a "in your face survivor", not going back to that merry- go -around of abusive men. What is your definition of survivor, what does it mean to you?

 

[Missycat]

@aut555 , im genuinely really pleased for you in that you were brave to not go back and that you got help and survived.
I wish you well in continuing your healing journey.