When asking my therapist a few weeks ago if I would ever be normal again, she replied with 'Normal is a cycle on a washing machine' Makes me question now, what is normal? Your definition of normal and my definition of normal are probably going to be two totally different things. Perhaps instead of leading a 'normal' life, maybe the question should be rephrased to how do you function in life... That won't stop me from asking when I'm going to be normal again lol
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Do You Lead A Normal Life?
- Post starter Kaii
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Do you lead a healthy, fullfilling lifestyle? Do you feel content with your life? Are you satisfied with life? Are your needs for safety, belonging, love, acceptance, and comptentcy being met? Do you feel balance in your life? I think there is no normal and it matters much less what it looks like from the outside looking in.
Jibber, I applaud you for your success. It takes an extreme amount of courage to go back out into life and do "normal" things. Maybe it does depend on the cause of trauma. Mine was caused by someone here in a small town. It keeps me from just about everything.
Jibber, I applaud you for your success. It takes an extreme amount of courage to go back out into life and do "normal" things. Maybe it does depend on the cause of trauma. Mine was caused by someone here in a small town. It keeps me from just about everything.
Thanks Brat, and I think you make some excellent points about seeking fulfillment, balance, belonging, and love. I'm not sure if there is a "normal" level of these; like you said, everyone is different and in some ways everyone is searching for these things to some degree.
I also agree with you that it depends on what sort of trauma you experienced. Mine happened while travelling on the other side of the world, so it is a bit easier for me to distance myself from it, but it also makes it much easier for me to suppress feelings, which I believe is why it sometimes hits me as hard as it did. In a way, I think I didn't process it or deal with it at all right after it happened, so it's almost as if all of the feelings and fears I should have felt right after are coming up for me now. And now, going back to the subject of a "normal life," I'm going to try to get off of the computer and cram for my final exam tomorrow like other "normal" university students. :)
I also agree with you that it depends on what sort of trauma you experienced. Mine happened while travelling on the other side of the world, so it is a bit easier for me to distance myself from it, but it also makes it much easier for me to suppress feelings, which I believe is why it sometimes hits me as hard as it did. In a way, I think I didn't process it or deal with it at all right after it happened, so it's almost as if all of the feelings and fears I should have felt right after are coming up for me now. And now, going back to the subject of a "normal life," I'm going to try to get off of the computer and cram for my final exam tomorrow like other "normal" university students. :)
HëllaBubz
Diamond Member
It's kind of hard to say what normal is, normal from the people who see you occasionally, or the friends that see you really often, or your family who knows the days when getting out of bed, or cleaning the house is an impossibility for a week?
For me, when I go out with friends, which isn't all that often, I look fine, I act fine, and everyone was surprised when they heard I was diagnosed with PTSD.
But for me, I act fine, and yet I am constantly aware of everyone around me, and people constantly brushing up against me in a crowd makes me jittery as hell.
Walking to the shops is a big deal that I have to prepare for, cleaning the house fills me with dread, and when friends come over, the house is up to my old standards, but only because I got in a cleaner to help me.
Normal for me, is how I feel on a particular day compared to the best I've felt recently, and how much energy accompanies it, because I may be mentally alert, but my body will be dragging far behind, or my body is ready to bounce, but my brain lags so far behind that I bounce into the nearest object!
For me, when I go out with friends, which isn't all that often, I look fine, I act fine, and everyone was surprised when they heard I was diagnosed with PTSD.
But for me, I act fine, and yet I am constantly aware of everyone around me, and people constantly brushing up against me in a crowd makes me jittery as hell.
Walking to the shops is a big deal that I have to prepare for, cleaning the house fills me with dread, and when friends come over, the house is up to my old standards, but only because I got in a cleaner to help me.
Normal for me, is how I feel on a particular day compared to the best I've felt recently, and how much energy accompanies it, because I may be mentally alert, but my body will be dragging far behind, or my body is ready to bounce, but my brain lags so far behind that I bounce into the nearest object!
^^FlyingSolo^^
Platinum Member
Hi Kaii,
Congrats on getting approved for disability. :tup: This is a good topic, I liked your post even though most people are like :eek: when the word "normal" is mentioned. I think the common denominator is "what is normal"?
With that said I think we all have an idea of what normal is or should be according to our own perceptions.
My answer is a simple, no. An utterly helpless, no. It's the kind of thing if I think about it too much could really trigger me. Suffering like this is like knowing your in prison, or knowing that something in your life is very wrong. Subsequently, there's no doubt in your mind that "It is not normal".
I do believe however that we can still try to be happy even without a so-called normal life. I think some people do have PTSD and still find some happiness in their current lives. As for myself, I haven't felt happiness in a long, long time. It sucks. :tdown:
Regards, Solo
Congrats on getting approved for disability. :tup: This is a good topic, I liked your post even though most people are like :eek: when the word "normal" is mentioned. I think the common denominator is "what is normal"?
With that said I think we all have an idea of what normal is or should be according to our own perceptions.
My answer is a simple, no. An utterly helpless, no. It's the kind of thing if I think about it too much could really trigger me. Suffering like this is like knowing your in prison, or knowing that something in your life is very wrong. Subsequently, there's no doubt in your mind that "It is not normal".
I do believe however that we can still try to be happy even without a so-called normal life. I think some people do have PTSD and still find some happiness in their current lives. As for myself, I haven't felt happiness in a long, long time. It sucks. :tdown:
Regards, Solo
HëllaBubz
Diamond Member
I know how you feel Jibber, its a horrible feeling.
Something triggered me off yesterday, and I had the worst nightmares in a long time.
I like entertaining because I like feeding people and making people feel comfortable and well fed and happy, but sometimes the time leading up to it is exhausting to say the least.
Something triggered me off yesterday, and I had the worst nightmares in a long time.
I like entertaining because I like feeding people and making people feel comfortable and well fed and happy, but sometimes the time leading up to it is exhausting to say the least.
Grace Hope
Silver Member
Normal. What is normal ?
What really is normal is that everything is different, everybody is different. I think what you are describing is now normal to you. You and only you have those different traits put together like the ones you have and feel the way you feel about them because they are a part of the " new you " that has PTSD.
I think you have changed the way you are and the traits you see in your self belong to you. Because you don`t like them doesn't mean that you can brush them under the rug and I think you know that already.
Other people unless you handcuffed yourselves to somebody for a week that they would never even have an inkling of who you are and what you have to live with daily.
Sometimes when people smile or look at me, I look in to their eyes to try and see what they are really thinking. Sometimes I see sadness, sometimes friendly or caring and sometimes nothing at all, but the worst thing to see is I think pity. It sad to say someone who shows you pity is not your friend, they may not be your enemy, but definitely not your friend.
What really is normal is that everything is different, everybody is different. I think what you are describing is now normal to you. You and only you have those different traits put together like the ones you have and feel the way you feel about them because they are a part of the " new you " that has PTSD.
I think you have changed the way you are and the traits you see in your self belong to you. Because you don`t like them doesn't mean that you can brush them under the rug and I think you know that already.
Other people unless you handcuffed yourselves to somebody for a week that they would never even have an inkling of who you are and what you have to live with daily.
Sometimes when people smile or look at me, I look in to their eyes to try and see what they are really thinking. Sometimes I see sadness, sometimes friendly or caring and sometimes nothing at all, but the worst thing to see is I think pity. It sad to say someone who shows you pity is not your friend, they may not be your enemy, but definitely not your friend.
Beverly G.
Silver Member
I have expeerienced entire years where I would have told you I am totally normal. Where I follow the same routine never get triggered in public and feel like I am a worthwhile person. Oh and then the sh*t hits the fan and I spend months striving for normal again. For the past 20 years it has been the same cycle. I know what sets me off and yet I can't seem to avoid them.
Last year was so peaceful and fulfilling and then tragedy and I shut down. I long for normal for my family's sake. I also wish I would finally get past the past and live my life without fear.
Last year was so peaceful and fulfilling and then tragedy and I shut down. I long for normal for my family's sake. I also wish I would finally get past the past and live my life without fear.
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