Do You Lead A Normal Life?

[Anna]

Yes I do now lead a farely "normal" life now. I have a family, kids, good job and a nice home BUT. I never used to.

Years after my trauma I was a self destructive machine. I looked crazy, I behaved crazy and I did stupid things. It took a lot of self discipline and healing to get out of it. I never thought I would live past 30, but I did :) I got out of the self destruction.

My trauma happened 18 years ago.

I do feel like an actress most days as I have to hide who I am deep down. Smiling, greeting people, and I am over positive. I make people laugh, try to make the sun shine all the time.

I hide my illness very well, and have learned to cope with it. Sadly though, there are some parts of your personality and behaviour that change when you have PTSD. Some people notice it and automatically dislike me. They treat me pretty bad. I keep away from them. I am just happy I am alive to be honest.

The people who like me, and are attracted to me, strangely deep down also have PTSD... weird that or? Maybe you can tell even if you don't talk about it? I have no idea. Sometimes I guess I talk HARD and it makes people uneasy. Birds of a feather flock together and all that. Most people I get on well with are those who have had a pretty rough time themselves.

 

[airsquid]

Ugh can we stop splitting hairs and over philosophizing the word normal please?? Being afraid to go out of your room or even talk to people on the phone or flipping and having a meltdown over no big reason is not normal. All this while not being able to hold a job or be sober for two consecutive hours. I'm certain those with ptsd aren't living normal lives and that's why we re here. Sigh

 

[The Albatross]

Nearer to normal is the way I think about it. Not entirely squared up, but closer.

 

[ptsdsolution]

I have a friend who does not have PTSD but is so so messed up it is frightening, so there really is no normal life. Each person experiences different degrees of normality but as individuals we all lose it from time to time. Is that normal? Totally and utterly YES-we are not robots and each of us have different things going on that hold us back or push us forward.

 

[The Albatross]

I aim for the middle of the bell curve.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Ugh can we stop splitting hairs and over philosophizing the word normal please??

You're awesome. Only a few posts here on the forum and advocating the end of over-philosophizing. I know I've made a post or two about wanting to be normal and it drove me batty to get the "what is normal?" or "nobody is normal" sort of responses. Kudos to you.