There’s a whole range of behaviors that could cause that for someone.
Exactly. Which is why the better I know someone? The easier it is to keep things playful, instead of the kind of kiss that turns into sex, when I’m supposed to be leaving for work.
Everyone has their own unique limits and combos that turn them on, and how far, and how fast. New relationships, you’re learning those, which is half the fun. Established relationships, you’re fluent in them, which is half the challenge.
Maybe in your relationship.
I think that’s they key component right there. Established relationships? Have their own cues/language. But there are also a whooooole lotta trends. Like people often use clothing to signify intent. Although which clothing varies.
Expensive lingerie is often used as a greenlight by women, or expectation (to the point that hurt feelings will happen if it doesn’t spark an immediate reaction). Then there’s always the classic “If her bra and panties match? YOU aren’t the one who decided to have sex!” For some women, though, expensive lingerie is their normal, and indicates nothing except that they’re wearing clothes.
Conversely? I know sooooooo many women, that once their “bedtime socks” go on? It would take a seduction of Olympic proportion to even have them
consider sex. I can’t wrap my head around that, in no small part because I despise wearing socks to bed, but I have my own no-no zones so I can appreciate it. It still just makes me laugh, though, when my girlfriends &/or guy friends start talking about “bedtime socks”.
Even though we're always told it's not, I believe sex can be and often is encouraged or discouraged by clothing. It is NEVER the same as an actual yes or no. But whether one is approachable for sex is indeed often implied by what a person is wearing, especially between long-term partners.
Very much agreed.
It’s the difference, I think, between encouraged and excused.
We dress for work, for attention, for functionality, for a lot of different purposes. But just because I’m dressed for work doesn’t mean any employer can yank me off the street and insist I’m working for them. Rapists don’t seem to be able to make that very basic distinction.
I'm going to act very differently if my wife comes into the bedroom wearing a sexy negligee vs. her ugliest sweatpants.
This ALWAYS cracks me the hell up; the grubby-sweat-clothes paradox.
The worse you look?
- The more you get hit on by strangers
- The more you get left alone by people who know you
Sweaty, full of holes, grass stains, shoulda been tossed in the rag bin ages ago workout clothes? Will get you hit on left/right/center. FAR more than in f*ck me pumps and a napkin masquerading as a dress, or even super matchy-matchy yoga gear. As a chick, it’s always a bit brain breaking, (you spend hours getting yourself perfect to barely be spoken to, but when you’re super gross is when all the hot/funny/interesting guys just come out of the woodwork?!? WTF?!?)…
…but I’ve known enough men to know the answer TO that head scratcher: The assumption is that anyone as “pretty” as you can’t be here alone, if you’re all dolled up. But? If you look this good wearing
that (sweats) how f*ckable will you be dressed in normal clothes, or dressed up, (or -one better- in the shower in just a few minutes?!?). And if you had someone at home? You’d probably put more effort into your appearance, even to work out. So you’re not only hot, but probably single. Nothing but nothing makes you more approachable, as a chick to men who don’t know you (yet), than looking like hell. The men who DO know you, though? Know any advance is going to be met with “Eeeeew. I’m GROSS. What the hell is wrong with you?!?”
It DOES happen on accident, too. And not just accidentally on purpose). I don’t bring someone to the brink and then just walk away. There’s a reason why that’s a common punishment in BDSM circles.
