Do You Tell People You Have Ptsd?

[watundah]

No, I am too private to share anything personal like that. I'm trying to find a way out of a neighborhood artist group because they trigger my social anxiety in a big way. Only my wife and best friend know. The rest can take me or leave me as it's not their biz. I don't want to share the why as I assume that would be an immediate response from many folks.

 

[Teasel]

Understand, sometimes I've completely panicked when I've been thrown by a question and don't know how to react..

Do you feel like you want to tell them that you'd prefer not to go to meetings because of ptsd? Or would you prefer they didn't know.

Often people are much better at this than me, and know they don't have to volunteer any information they don't want to volunteer. You can just say I can't come and leave it at that.

 

[Sideways]

Wow - so many people seem to disclose!

I tend to disclose my depression and agoraphobia these days, because they're both pretty widely understood here, and people don't seem to wonder how to react appropriately. I've always been concerned that my ptsd wouldn't be well understood (people won't know to attribute my strange behaviour to it, even if they knew).

But more than that, I worry that it begs as many questions as it answers for people...what was the trauma? Is she going to flip out? am I going to say something that upsets her? If I was already anxious in a particular setting, I might disclose the anxiety (people kinda get it), but disclosing my ptsd would make me even more anxious. Just me.

And while I always think it's amazingly courageous when people are able to put it out there, and that's absolutely necessary to reduce stigma, there is no onus on any one individual to disclose their situation for the greater good. I think that should be a consideration (& inspiration) to disclose, but not the key factor in your decision.

With my study, I disclose confidentially to my lecturer to explain my sometimes odd behaviour, need to suddenly leave class etc, and that helps a lot. Telling just the president might be an option, as a starting point. Eg "I'm keen to participate but sometimes I might need to ... because of my ptsd." Just an idea.

 

[Casey_03]

I wouldn't tell them. Older people involved in neighborhood watch are less likely to understand what PTSD actually is and I fear they may end up seeing you as a threat ... Maybe not and I'm way off, but it seems like the older generation has a different understanding of PTSD and they may think it makes you prone to violent freak outs ... I don't think there's any need to tell them. Let them just think you're a bit of a hermit who doesn't like social interaction.

 

[Neverthesame]

Is this the same treasurer who was making an ass of himself because of a sign?

I wouldn't tell someone like that hello in the street, I sure as hell wouldn't tell him my diagnosis.

What if you respond to people the way you would anytime someone has approached you to ask for advice on how to prevent becoming the victim of a burglary.

Give the simple practical advice.

• Lock your doors
• Leave a light on
• Have someone collect your mail if you are out of town.

That kind of thing.

If the retired cop who lives down the road skipped out on a meeting because everyone is blabbering nonsense, and all he wants to do is help. Fair enough. My only question would be "what do you recommend?"

Besides if everyone is in a meeting, who's watching my house?

 

[Bill Dickerson]

That's the same guy who was being ugly. He's almost unhinged. Don't worry I would never tell that guy anything personal.

I made a little bit of an ass out of myself this evening. On a Nextdoor site we have been discussing the sign thing for weeks and I have been making samples. They suck (the samples) but it got people involved lots of suggestions and debate. I wanted to get the neighbors to have ownership. Anyway I previously suggested we have input before the vote. The vote is on Facebook this weekend and I expressed my disappointment that the Membership didn't get to input their ideas before the vote.

The Facebook site owner said no discussion had occurred and no samples were submitted. I was incredulous. It felt like someone just called me a liar. I didn't put the Treasurer's name on it but I quoted verbatim how my help was not only not wanted but I wasn't authorized to even make suggestions and explained it came from a board Member.

The President panicked a little and privately emailed me. He asked if I was wanting to help the group or not. I explained I wanted to help the Neighborhood but something stinks with the group and I'm tired of getting kicked in the head. He then said the jacka$$ was no longer on the Board.

It's hard to believe no one on the board knew Members wanted to have input but I suppose the JA was so angry with me he didn't pass it on. I personally think the President knew because he tried shutting the discussion down several times. I suppose he didn't think I would discuss my disappointment on facebook. I almost never go to Facebook.

Now the President wants to meet with me and he wants my help. Anyway I know I'm rambling but I'm still pissed ...I took down my posts on Facebook and explained it's possible the Facebook page and board Member didn't know about the input request and I apologized explained I was uninformed about the position change and situation.

The whole thing feels like a bad soap opera.

 

[Neverthesame]

I hear that.

Sounds like they do want your help. Maybe you can put it to them straight, with a no bullshit proposal.

What if you mailed this president with something outlining your desire to help. But with a straight and honest caveat. They keep it professional, or you walk.

Would something like that work?

 

[Friday]

What would the purpose be in telling them?

Actual question.

 

[scout86]

First, it seems like getting involved with the neighborhood association might be good for a variety of reasons. (My T periodically suggests that it might be good to be "open to the possibility of a social life". :rolleyes: That's probably true for everyone and this sounds like a move in that direction.)

Pretty much my whole life, I've disliked crowds. Last one there, first to leave. Never knew, myself, that there was a reason, so I never explained it. The past couple of years, I've offered an occasional explanation. It's been more ok than not. I've been doing it partly for my own benefit and partly hoping to educate people. The results have been a mixed bag, but nothing horrible.

On the other hand, you don't owe anyone an explanation. "I don't like crowds" should be accepted.

Do you tell people? Do you tell anyone? My family doesn't even know.

So, to answer those questions. I tell SOME people. If I feel the need to offer an explanation, or see the possibility to educate someone. My family doesn't know either, but they are the reason I ended up here in the first place. With them, for the most part, "Anything you say can and will be used against you" and I prefer not to hand them ammunition. Play it by ear. But, mostly, I don't think there's any harm in using the truth as an explanation.

 

[Sandstone]

So far as disclosing goes, when absolutely necessary I say that I have an anxiety related condition that makes me a bit jumpy. I don't think people need to know my personal details any more than that

 

[ladee]

I will disclose to my new boss. Because her face softened when I said I had 'social anxiety'. I will throw that out there sometimes, to see how people react. But many many people, NO..... Because as a general rule, we are misunderstood.

 

[SeaQuel]

IF you feel you want to say something (you don't owe an explanation, of course), I think it's perfectly fine to say you have a "medical condition" that precludes you from attending the meetings (insert caveat if wanted: "regularly" or "for the duration"). That should give people enough information to bugger off and could apply to any number of conditions and symptoms.