Does Anyone Else Do This When Asleep?

[HëllaBubz]

Kim, I honestly don't know what to say! is it possible to ask your partner to wake you when this happens, after you explain to him how it makes you feel? I know its a pretty personal thing to share.....

 

[Kimpersonal]

Tempted to have the above post removed ... but will face my shame/fears and see what happens. I feel sorta queasy about having shared something so personal/intimate.

The aspect of this which scares me the most ... is knowing my Mother has done similar. I cannot figure out if her activities were alter personalities taking over or if it was a sleep disturbance or both! Could I be a case of MPD you guys? This thought absolutely terrifies me.

One time, the RCMP found my Mom in the middle of the night at a school playground. It was late fall (cold outside) and she was on a swing wearing only a short white t-shirt ... otherwise physically exposed and obviously in a position to be taken advantage of or abused! When the RCMP brought her back to her house, I was disgusted they had not taken her straight to the hospital for observation and follow-up!!!!

And now I want this post deleted also. But I will be brave and leave it here for now. My anxieties are based in reality ... my fears stem from the possibility of ever-present danger at any given moment.

Maybe this is why I do not dream much anymore ... surface sleep is dangerous enough!

 

[AngelaMarie]

Don't be ashamed, Kim. Go forward. Maybe you posted it to figure the situation out for yourself. I have no judgement on you and no one else should either. Just take a breath and think before you post because it won't be deleted. I have wanted to delete some of mine also, but sometimes I think the forum doesn't do that because we have to face what we say and feel.

Keep on moving forward. (((Kim)))

 

[HëllaBubz]

I'm sorry, was it my post that upset you?
In my case, my partner is aware of things that I'm terrified of, and so keeps an eye on me.
For example, when I was first diagnosed with PTSD, I couldn't leave the wardrobe doors open during the night because they would feature as dark places in my dreams that horrible things would come from, and drag me away....I jokingly nicknamed it 'the handbag monster', and my partner thought I was being stupid until I explained to him how it affected me.

Rest assured, you are not your mother, and this issue has manifested itself in a different matter in you.
Also, this issue is not unheard of, you should most definately go and see someone about it.

I used to do something similar when I was on a drug called Stillnox, I'd sleepwalk naked through the house and front yard, I'd eat uncooked food from the fridge, and turned rather raunchy with my partner over night, even though the next morning I had no knowledge of it.

Anyway hun, my thoughts are with you, I understand a little of your fears.....my only advice would be to find someone that you can talk to about this, and who can help you put in safe guards so that you feel safe when you go to sleep at night.

 

[Kimpersonal]

AngelaMarie ... yes it is truly weird and embarassing. I'm glad not many have experienced it.

The Bubzilla (neat alias name, btw) ... I am on my own now, just me and my children and my dog. I want no more partners because none have ever taken the initiative to read about or understand the extent of this disorder. While my last boyfriend adamantly claimed that he understood and cared ... sometimes said and demostrated things to support his claim ... ultimately, we nipped at each other's achilles heels until we each limped off in our own directions for a break. Love is still there ... intimacy is not, and may not ever be.

I miss him greatly! Painful to be apart ... but safer for both of us.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Thanks Kim, its actually my real nickname!!! long story how I got it, but needless to say, it was my partner that came up with it!
Also, I know I might get my ass kicked for saying this, but if your children are old enough, it might be worthwhile explaining to them (in a censored version) why some things affect you the way they do, or what are certain triggers for you.

I have only just gone 22, but my memory is unfortunately crystal clear back to the age of 2, and as a child I remember my mother occasionally opening up to me, or me figuring things out and trying to help her with them, in the times when I wasn't being a little shite!

My mum went through some pretty horrible things as a young girl, I'm not at liberty to divulge, but when I learned about them when I was a child, it helped me understand her, and why she sometimes acted the way she did.


Anyway, just food for thought, I'll definitely understand if you balk at that idea, but my thinking is that your children are usually the closest to you, and they can become your best friends as well as your children, if you let them, like I am now with my mum.

 

[Kimpersonal]

I think I'm going to request a referral to a sleep clinic that exists here. I honestly don't think I get much, if any, REM level sleep anymore.

Thanks for your moral support and non-judgement ... I needed that! :)

I realize this is something important to bring up at my next Psychiatrist appt. ... which is this Friday! YAY! One appt per month seems so small compared to the size of the matters I'm trying to cope with. Such is life. Not much good help around ... so I appreciate whatever good help/advice I receive.

 

[Kimpersonal]

My children are all amazing! (21 yr old boy / 11 year old girl / 9 year old boy / 3 year old cocker spaniel pooch)

I am honest and forthright about my disorder with my kids ... in age appropriate discussions about it. They are all understanding and considerate towards each other ... towards other people in general ... and to myself. That might be some of the best outcome I have to share that is partially the result of living with trauma. The compassion I feel for others is a trait my children have chosen to adopt in their own interactions with peers and society. Their compassion is also offered within boundaries that protect their own sense of well-being. They are not afraid to say "no" if the situation they face calls for it! Amazing!

 

[AngelaMarie]

I wish you and your family the best, Kim. Also, it's great that you tell the truth. I don't lie to my children. For me it's the best way to go.

 

[HëllaBubz]

I'm so pleased to hear that you have so much support from them.....makes me want to give you a big hug!
I think I've been around cats too long, I'm turning into a cuddle smooch!!!!!

My parents used to tell us kids all sorts of BS when we were younger, my dad still tries now, but after a few pointed questions and woefully defended arguments, its not quite so often now!
My brother and I often liaise whenever we communicate with my dad, so that way he can't work us against each other (old cop tactic he's never learned to drop) and so now we mount a double offensive!