Does Anyone Else Get Anxiety At Parties?

[Loveneverfails]

they cant help that theyre stupid, they were brought up that way, engrained with unacceptence.And maybe they just look because I'm different from them not because im not good enough. who knows.

I think it's a lot of different things. I think it will always bother me, mostly because I don't want my kids exposed to that- but I am growing a very thick skin slowly but surely. But I hear you entirely. Ignorant people will always judge first and think later. ;)

 

[Belle]

Ignorant people will always judge first and think later. ;)

Yes, yes so true:) don't let the haters get to you.

 

[Ellna]

I thought I was the only one that felt anxiety at parties.
I feel like everyone is looking at me, and looking at my scars. I'm not usually one to care what others think of me, but I'm horrified people are just glaring and whispering behind their hands. I haven't felt this way until the past few years. I never noticed things like that. I usually only had get togethers with my close friends and family, so it was never an issue. I felt safe. Since I have dated my boyfriend with for two years, I've been meeting new people, which is difficult.

In December I went to his sister's wedding... It was so... scary for me! I was on the verge of a panic attack the whole time. If my BF didn't know how to help keep me calm or understand what was going on, I would have had one for sure.

I even get a little anxious just going to the store sometimes because of this.

 

[Zef]

Parties for me are horrible, as well. That is, unless I am performing a function at the party. I have hosted Name That Muzak parties where I am the dj/game show host and that is fine except for a bit of stagefright. If I'm doing something at a party, like doorman or bartender or playing a game of some sort, I am fine

. . .but the mingling and having conversations thing sucks. I generally can go about 15 minutes before I have to make an excuse an hit the bathroom, or go smoke or just disappear and take a walk outside.

 

[freakofnurture]

Parties. So horrible that even normal people can only stand them while drunk.

@Lacey: Isn't there an alternative to parties? Like gathering for a round of board games or a movie night or cooking together? Those events can be smaller, more private, and it'd be easy to make them beer free.

I'm sure there's a way to make going out possible for both, your spouse and yourself :)

 

[Ellna]

freakofnurture,
A small gathering is always a good alternative! I'm glad you mentioned that - I got so hung up on the memory of feeling anxious I forgot about the other ways to have a fun time! Sometimes my boyfriend and I have a few people over for a BBQ and movie. It's familiar, and a good way to celebrate without feeling anxious. :)

<Edited - removed full quote of post above>

 

[Lacey101]

I went to a black tie red carpet even to support my friend who just began modeling. OMG It was terrible. I know I looked good, though wearing a gorgeous dress that was a little too fancy, but I just cant drink and dance for 3 hours straight. Being around all these drunk people gave me so much anxiety. And then some loser guy grabbed my friends butt( she's plus size.) So I got even more anxiety. And some guy offered us other things.... I just dont let what people enjoy about these things!So many bad things could happen and people act a fool and get in fights cuz theyre drunk. Am I abnormal or something??? WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE SEEM TO BE HAVING FUN??

ps. my anxiety is involved with sexual abuse, so when my friends butt was grabbed it freaked me out!

<Edited - merged 2 consecutive posts>

 

[caroline_13]

I used to be very self-conscious in crowds, and sometimes still am, but it's gotten better.

 

[squireparty]

There was a time back in 1997 when I left for my first seasonal job, waiting tables at the Grand Canyon. I left unhappy with my life and with the goal of being someone completely unlike myself, I so wanted to be someone else. I wanted to play a role I guess you could say.

Turns out that there was a huge drug problem at the Grand Canyon around this time and it was not at all hard to get into that scene if you wanted to. For me it was not so much that I wanted to but it was more being someone else. So I forced myself to play the game and made myself chatty and fun and seem discreet to the right people and off to the races I went being someone else and doing lots of drugs.

This was the only job I ever had that I was fired from - formally fired from with a sit down talk and paperwork. To this day I am so grateful I was fired from that job as it meant being forced to leave town. There was no housing available anywhere close by other than employee housing, and if you lost your job, you lost your housing. So I had to leave town.

I look back on that person I was back then and I am just amazed - who was that person? I was outgoing and fun and often the life of the party. Today I'm back to who I really am - an introvert. Before crashing and burning with PTSD parties were difficult for me, as I don't do well in noisy crowds of people. I much prefer dealing with people one on one and not in large groups. For this reason I dislike bars, too. With PTSD, the idea of a party, just the very idea, sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to run. I can go if I really feel I should make a quick appearance, and I have a bailing excuse and I do try to mingle quickly before I bail. And I also don't do this very often.

One thing I'm glad for too is after I lost that job, I did not have the compulsion to drink heavily or find drugs again/start up that life again. And today I just would not have the energy to be someone other than who I am.

 

[nomedic1]

Parties are the worst , noise , people trying to find out what you do, no thank you

 

[maddog]

I can honestly say that it has been literally several years, since before my breakdown, since I have been to anything even remotely resembling a party. The idea of it sickens and terrifies me. This is in total contrast to my teens and early twenties when I partied hard and endlessly, drank to terrifying excess, was the boisterous and sometimes obnoxious life of every party... and hated every moment of it in a frantic, driven, disconnected kind of way that kind of epitomised my life. It was who I'd decided I had to be, and because I do everything to extreme, I did it to extreme.

I don't miss it. I don't even think I miss the principle of it very often. Being drunk and out of control and sick and scared of what I can't remember from the night before is one of few things I don't miss about who I used to be.

Maddog

 

[Chincho]

I get anxious as soon as I get the invitation to a party. Thankfully, I don't get much invites any more as I've even excused myself from family weddings.