Hi Vcc and thankyou for the lovely posts you put nder mine in the spouse section. After now reading your history I am even more thankul for the post you put in. In regards to your own situation, all I can say is from a spouses perspective it is REALLY scary when the person you love and thought you knew like the back of your hand changes so radicaly, and close up and there seems to be nothing you can do to help. You kind of go through the whole grief process of denial (pretending things are normal) and anger directed at the perso to try and make them 'snap out of it and get back to normal'. You sound like you are doing all the right things...going to counselling, on meds?, not turing your angre blame on people you love. Please let your husband know how much you still love him and that under your pain is still the strong, fun and loving wife he married and loves. It just scares the SH*T out of us, it's like losing someone who still lives in your house as an empty shell...in my case and angry, nasty, empty shell !! LOL....small attempt at light heartedness. Hang in....YOU are still in there and will come back to yourself and those you love. XX