Don't Know How To Feel About Dissociating During Trauma.

[Meadowsweet]

In the majority of trauma's I've experienced, I'm conscious and can see what's happening, but my mind goes completely blank - I have a vague recognition that something isn't quite right or that it shouldn't be happening, but I can't work out what is happening, what's wrong with it, or if there is something I could do about it.

But in the trauma's that happened in my thirties (the last trauma's) I experienced becoming a different person at the certain points. I've discussed it in therapy, and can understand why my mind did that. then in my last trauma, I experienced a feeling of being totally at peace, like nothing mattered anymore, and then floating in space, unaware of what was going on around me or happening to me.

I recognise that dissociation is the minds way of adjusting to traumatic situations and 'helping' us to get through them. But at the same time, dissociation has played a part in the trauma being as it was - without dissociataion, it might have been different, better or worse.

I'm not talking about dissociation post-trauma, just during trauma. I just can't decide how i feel about it. So wondered how others feel about dissociation during trauma?

 

[desiderata310]

I think that dissociation during trauma is the only reason that I haven't offed myself already.
The last set of traumas was really bad.
I can actually remember going from a place of pain to just not being there and things happening to me. Actually I am kind of ashamed of that. I couldn't have fought it successfully but I kinda feel like I should have fought instead of going essentially, limp. He thought that meant that I was ok with things I think. Or he saw it as a sign that he could do whatever he wanted because I was consenting. or .. I don't know.

It saved me but I can't say it made it better.