General Expressing Love For Our Sufferers

[Shoka]

Why don't we use this forum as a place to tell our sufferers we love them when we feel so compelled to? Instead of texting them or calling or emailing when they are isolating and need that space, why don't we all turn to each other? A simple post that says "I love and miss my sufferer, but instead of texting him/her, I'm putting it on the forum" might get it out there without putting the pressure on them.

Caretakers sometimes can be toxically nice and loving to those who are on PTSD OVERLOAD. I'll speak in "I" statements here, so as not to offend all carers, because everyone is different. When I'm being a toxic caretaker, I don't mean it, but I almost have an uncontrollable NEED to express my love. If it's my overwhelming need to express the love, but it's not helpful to my sufferer at that moment, then how helpful is it really and who am I really doing it for, him or me? Even more then, am I expecting in some way to get a response back?

Just a thought. I think what's more useful for my sufferer during these times is that I detach with love and refocus my energies and intentions to what is really helpful to them. Sometimes what is really helpful to my sufferer is hard for me to comprehend, and even harder for me to follow through with.

Shoka

 

[Nicolette]

I Shoka....I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of making your idea a thread of its own so the information stays together in the other thread without being fragmented with Carers expressing their love....here is a better place :smile:

 

[Shoka]

Thanks Nicolette. I posted this originally as a response to what others were saying in another post. What I was hearing was that sometimes there is a strong need, almost a "compulsion" (to use someone's well said phrase) to express our love to sufferers when they are isolating.

Carers needs to express it and hear it back, VS. Sufferers need to isolate and or disconnect. What to do about it?

 

[ISupportHer]

Me First

Not sure, I may have expressed the feeling of compulsion even though I do not hammer her with messages.

To my wife,
I will simply re-state what I told you on our anniversary weekend. I love you. I hear you when you say you feel like you put me through hell and say again, I do not regret any of our 31 years together. Sometimes things are hard. Any marriage is a work in progress. I just want you to know that I would marry you again. In a heart beat.

Please be patient with me as, I too, work through my issues.

 

[her_indoors43]

:rolleyes:aww her's hubby thats so beautiful....you got me all choked up and teary now.....lump in my throat.....

:crazy:

crikey where's the bloody tissue.s....goodonya ....:thumbs-up....

:smile:MAGIC HAPPENS........:Hug_emoticon:YEAH

 

[Shoka]

IsupportHer,

You are a special man.
I pray things continue to improve for you and your wife.

Shoka

 

[amethist]

More Water and less of the strong stuff for her indoors tonight I think LOL.

Amethist

 

[ISupportHer]

Bump - Or Is this My Personal Thread? LOL

To my wife,

I love you. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

I can sense your anxiety is mounting, aware you are having trouble sleeping and can't help but worry due to what we both know is on the horizon.

It is particularly hard for me not to go overboard with my expressions when I see you struggle but am becoming increasingly aware that, in times of stress, you need some space.

Love you always.

 

[refresh]

My wife is struggling with PTSD and all the complications it brings. She sometimes shouts at me, gets angry with me, and misunderstands my actions and words in to things that are hurtful.

Some days she's so sorry she says hurtful things, she cries in to my arms for hours. I don't feel there's anything to forgive, but I myself am sorry because what I said could have been heard in a way I never intended.

I love her always and forever. PTSD and all the associated symptoms will never affect that, and I only ever want to help and support her in every way possible.

 

[sunshineball]

Your post made me cry refresh, because it hits home so much. I feel like I could say the exactly same words about my honey.

 

[Kunoichi]

Thank you all for doing this and Shoka thank you as well for this idea. Sometimes it is hard to see that my dear one loves me even with the PTSD. I am hoping I can convince him to come to this forum. Thank you for being there carers!

 

[jadelibra]

B,

I sit here wishing that you would not push me away, lock yourself away as if what you HAD to do would offend the world.. what you HAD to do would be projected to the rest of the world just by them looking at you. I love you and it pains me to see you hurting so deeply and profusely. It hurts when you ask why I am wasting my time on you, that you are a loser or that you arent worth it because of what you HAD to do. God is not punishing you for this, God does not want you to suffer nor does he want to deprive you of happiness. I will always be there to support you, be there for you and to help you through these rough times. Please, I am not the enemy, you left them in another country a year ago. I am here for you unconditionally and I wish that something that I could say would change how you feel. B, please try to let me into your bubble of safety... That’s all I need you to do is to try. Please just let me in... I love you.....