I was digging through this forum and found some other threads that touched on this topic but nothing recent. Does anyone else when they catch themselves feeling positive emotions around others, usually strangers or toxic family, revealing more about how you really are personality wise get hit with a sudden bolt of fear like they just presented themselves to a hungry bear and now it is more likely to attack? When i keep my head low, when I'm in what I guess I could call "stealth mode" since it's like I automatically use conditional negativity to stand out less which makes me more socially and mentally dysfunctional but protects me from more violence. I also read a topic on how these bad states of mind and lack of what I need can be addictive which definitely resonates with me. It's terrible but also completely familiar, I feel good when the more rare times come when I somehow break out of this suffering trance but it's not often and certainly happens far less in the Winter.