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Fear Of Being Punished- Need Advice

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I've gotten stuck on something & could use some advice/experience with this issue.

I am trying to do a lot of new things right now. Pushing boundaries in almost every area.

I keep challenging myself to do things and succeeding. (mostly) I am working on self-praise and positive self-talk. But I am still pulverized by this fear that I'm going to be punished for doing this stuff. And I'm not having any luck getting a grip on it.

An example: Three months ago I took on a Sunday School class again in my church. I create a lesson plan (from scratch) and a craft idea (also from scratch) every week. I go in and teach. The kids like the class. The parents are happy. The church leaders are happy. I even enjoy the little classes. I can look at what I did and say to myself "I am doing a good job."

But I STILL feel, every single week, like someone is going to stop me in the hall and scream at me. I still feel like I'm going to be punished. I keep talking to myself and saying, "Look- everybody is happy with you! No one is going to punish you!" But my brain doesn't seem to be listening.

And it's like this in almost EVERY AREA. I am making progress, improving, meeting requirements, succeeding... and I'm still wincing and cringing all the freaking time because no matter how good I do, I still think someone is going to come up and hit me or something. Actually, the better I do at something, the bigger the fear that I'm going to be punished for doing it.

What's up with that?

How have you been since posting this message?

Chris
 
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