Fears About Travelling During Christmas

[batgirl]

I'm going away for Christmas with my family, we are travelling to another country. I'm sure it will all be very nice when we get there, but I'm really starting to dread the trip. The flight is going to be long, 3 transfers at what I assume will be very busy airports considering the time of year. One transfer is going to be within the United States, and I have never been to the USA and feel nervous about that, rational or not. With the last transfer we only have 20 minutes to go from one concourse to the other, in a huge airport, so we will really be rushing. The flight we are on is booked solid too, so it's going to be packed on the plane and the thought of that is freaking me out. I'm going to be sitting with family members but I'm worried I'm still going to panic because of it being crowded. I also have no idea what the house we are staying in looks like, and that is also bothering me. I like to know where windows, doors and so on all are in a building.

I travelled to London UK earlier in the year, but it was not during a peak time, and we were able to see online what our hotel room looked like. I did okay in London, so I'm hoping I will be okay this time too, but I am really nervous. There are so many unknowns. We leave on the 20th and already I am getting very worried and can't seem to calm myself down.

 

[grace5555]

Evie,

Flying is always challenging to me, but there seems to be no way around it at times. I always keep headphones in whether I have music on or not. I can still hear everyone around me as I need to to feel safe but it helps give me a sort of "space" from them. Flying with your family will have its advantages since you can have them on either side of you both in flight and in airports - and they can be cautioned and probably already know when not to touch you. Escaping for a few minutes to a locked lavatory when on the flight helps me - sometimes just a few minutes standing in there and rocking where I know noone can touch me helps calm me down enough to not freak out. I always have to have an isle seat and memorize the exits immediately. Rough, rough challenge but it can be done. I will be flying on the 19th and will be thinking of you and your flights on the 20th.

Grace

 

[Lisa]

Hi Evie,

I was going to mention the lavatory for space too, so I'll second grace's advice :)

I can imagine the dread... I'm okay with flying, but I don't like crowds either and I dread the London Tubes every time I go home. Can you think of some things that calm you down and distract you? Whether it be playing a game, music, a teddy... sounds like you need a plan to help reassure you and make you feel a bit more secure in going...

 

[anthony]

Oh yes.... don't we all just love airports.... yuk! Going to see them a few times myself during the holidays, though I have no idea about my birthday surprise just yet, as Nic is taking me somewhere unknown to myself for a few days. Looking forward though to going and seeing my family.... that will be nice.

 

[batgirl]

I knew you were going to a surprise location, I think that's cool and I am curious wherebut I guess I have to wait until the new year to find out! ;) I have to say though, I would personally be totally freaked if I didn't know where I was going. I'm not sure I could handle it.

And thanks Grace and Lisa. I don't mind flying, actually I mostly like it, but only during off season. It's the crowds that really bother me badly. Not sure about the lavatory Grace... I've never tried escaping to one before but I will try that, thanks. I think I might have to really plan this in detail, the more I read what you guys are saying the more I feel even more freaked, thinking of different scenarios!! But thanks though I really appreciate the input.

 

[grace5555]

Evie,

It does help to plan for every scenario you can think of - at least it helps me know that I have thought through ways to survive it without be hauled off in an ambulance or totally freaking in flight. I hate both the flying itself and the people, but the worst is the people and who is sitting next to me, etc. People probably think I have a very sick stomach on flights running to the lavatory but if it gets me through it, oh, well. The nausea meds I have to take also have a calming effect sometimes in large enough dosages.

I hope that knowing you have plans and back-up plans for every scenario will help. Can you take the video games that you enjoy? I don't know if they are via laptop or handheld or what. I spend alot of time on my cell playing Tetris - but that can't happen in flight but helps in the airports themselves. Oh, yuck - I dread this for both of us but we shall get through it. =)

Grace

 

[baileysemt]

I just wanted to pop up and say how proud and happy I am for you that you are doing this trip! I won't step foot on an airplane, nor will I travel > 300 miles away. I can't be away from home more than 48 hours or I seriously melt down.

It is all PTSD ... and none of it is what I categorize as "rational," it is either my hypervigilance, or extreme insecurity, causing these feelings. I certainly wasn't this way pre-PTSD!!!!

So I just wanted to offer you a little perspective :smile: that you are doing something that not all of us can do, and that is pretty awesome!!!

I do hope that it all goes better than you expect, and you have a very enjoyable time. :smile:

Bailey

 

[hodge]

Wish I had some advice, Evie, but I think others have made good suggestions. I haven't flown for a few years, and I do avoid it. I'm a white-knuckled flier myself.

 

[batgirl]

I
So I just wanted to offer you a little perspective :smile: that you are doing something that not all of us can do, and that is pretty awesome!!!

Wow thanks Bailey, honestly I didn't think of it in that way! Really good point though, thanks for reminding me to be positive about it!

Grace you are totally right... I'm going to plan everything. I just got a Nintendo DS and I will definitely be playing that on the plane! And woohoo another Tetris fan? I absolutely love Tetris! :)

Thanks to you too Hodge, you don't need to advise me, it's enough just to know you are thinking of me.

 

[Nicolette]

Hey Evie

I hope you will feel better about it closer to the trip....our thoughts and good wishes will be with you.

though I have no idea about my birthday surprise just yet, as Nic is taking me somewhere unknown to myself for a few days

What Anthony fails to understand is how difficult keeping his surprise a surprise is for me as I am just bursting at the seams to tell him. After a tough year it will be something he deserves and will be very restful........ :wink:

 

[batgirl]

Must be nice to not be worried about going to an undisclosed location. I'm flipping out like crazy about this and I know exactly where I'm going. I'm leaving in 8 days. God I hope I'm not freaking out like this for 8 whole days. I'm having trouble sleeping tonight thinking about it and I can't calm down enough to sleep.

 

[vera]

I also have no idea what the house we are staying in looks like, and that is also bothering me. I like to know where windows, doors and so on all are in a building

maybe you can get all the top drawings and some pictures from the people you're renting it from. i have sometimes done this when travelling with my family. i find it's extremely helpful so when i get nervous during the trip i can calm down planning what i will do when i get there (eg: "1.- leave little books suitcase by fireplace 2.- bring clothes suitcase to room, leave it under the window, use drawer 1 for blah" etc)

i find that i'm ok travelling alone, i feel, small and unprotected but calm. but my family just gets to my nerves. i've gotten into some terrible arguments with them during long trips. i always swear it's the last time i will join them.
so sometimes i pretend i'm a hitch-hiker and they picked me up next to the road, and i imagine my life and theirs in this parallel universe to calm down.

also, i don't sleep the night before leaving, so i'm tired and i sleep more during the trip. and i take long walks by myself so we rest from eachother and nobody ends up wounded... =/

hope this is of any use... also hope you have a great trip. take it easy on yourself & enjoy!