Feel Like I'm Slipping

[NewDayTomorrow]

It has been a long time since I've been here. I'm sorry this is long. I don't know how to phrase this as a question.

I guess, has anyone been doing well and then gotten worse suddenly?

What happened was, last week at work I had a vivid flashback out of nowhere. I had been doing really well, felt whole and peaceful. I dissociated for maybe 20 min and then came back. I had found a quiet place to sit.

Since then I have dissociated maybe once a day. Often my heart will suddenly speed up for no reason and I get flustered.

I talked to my supervisors. They are supportive of me taking advantage of work flexibility. I told one other person who has taken me to the hospital in the past. He asked if I needed a ride, if I would be ok over the weekend, he said he worries about me. He sits near me and has not treated me any differently, and at least now if I am too dissociated to drive I can ask him, if he is around (lots of us business travel).

I went to a support group last night and was so triggered I had to leave.

I have not missed any work. I am eating and sleeping. I just struggle to enjoy the day and feel distressed when alone. I worry that I might have a panic attack at work.

My therapist said I am integrating, but lately I feel my progress has stalled. I feel stuck.

I thought my ptsd was gone and I feel discouraged.

I feel crazy. I'm ok, then I'm very not ok. I feel different from everyone around me.

The flashback came with anger, and led to despair. Those were the feelings I was trying to integrate. Now I have a hard time telling what I feel.

Please tell me if you have had a setback like this?

 

[SophiaWisdom]

YES. I have a certification in canine behavior and rescued dogs (esp. bully breeds) for a while.

We call it extinction burst and I used it when I used to life coach women as well - and on myself - b/c it's so common. My T always says you sometimes get worse before you get better.

If you look up extinction burst you'll see it's a common pattern in both animals and child development and even our own psychology - a very violent or extreme setback before we finally go forward. HANG IN THERE!!!

 

[Muted]

yes, it's been awhile now but it keeps getting worse. I feel miserable.

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

I'm sorry Gia. I hope you have some good times at least here and there. I find that as long as I have ups and downs, the ups are worth living for. Best wishes to you.