Feeling like your being followed

[lonetree]

Thank you MissAnti. I will try more of the free association with her. I'm glad it helped you and hope it will do the same for us.

 

[LovinHuggin]

I get the seeing stuff out of the corner of my eye and have to double check and I get the feeling of being followed and I don't like people walking up from behind me but this may be to do with Asperger's and sensory stuff.

I get that being followed thing and the shadows at the corner of your eyes (and flitting straight across).

I understand the car thing, I feel uncomfortable in big cities like London because I'm wary of everyone.

 

[Tosh]

Yes, Sometimes I feel like someone is watching me, or following me, I see something out of the corner of my eye, but nothing is there when I really look.

 

[Smorck5]

I have always felt watched I've gotten used to it....sometimes I feel a more intense feeling of being watched a threat like feeling and I react to those because usually that's when something is wrong. Most of the time I just feel as though I always have a security camera following me. I'm not sure if it ever really goes away but now that I know its caused by my PTSD I can remind myself its just a symptom and move on.

Good luck =0)

 

[Nemone]

I am not as bad when others are around but especially when I'm alone I get paranoid. I don't know if it's shadows flickering on the walls from headlights or the neighbor's houses behind me or what but I always have to glance behind me. I hate it when my husband is on the phone and he paces around the house, every time he walks by I feel compelled to turn around.

When I was younger it was especially bad but I have gradually gotten a little better. I think mostly by forcing myself to look in those places and tell myself over and over that nothing is there and being fairly stubborn about it mostly out of irritation with myself. I still feel creeped out sometimes though, like if I accidentally hang my arm over the side of the bed I'll pull it back up over the edge. I also can't sleep without a blanket, at least a sheet or something, over my feet. I feel like I am exposed and something is going to grab my foot. Actually a couple of nights ago I thought I heard my husband saying "hey honey" or something really quiet next to me, like he wanted to talk to me, and I sat straight up in bed from a dead sleep in the middle of the night only to have him sit up and ask me what was wrong and then tell me he didn't say anything when I asked. I still feel like I really heard someone say something just then..

Edit -
One of my recommendations, if possible for you, is to get a cat. I blamed all number of noises on my cats when I used to get scared. Very convenient for making yourself feel better.

 

[Lionheart]

I wanted to comment on seeing things out of the corner of one's eyes and then nothing being there, This is usually the blind spot in the peripheral vision that causes this and is not cause for alarm. Although with the hypervigilance we suffer, I can understand how easily this can set us off and make us a little paranoid.

I sometimes think people are following me when I drive a car and I am usually relieved when they turn off onto another street. Still, this has mostly gone away with time as I have re-learned to trust my intuition and inner-voice to help keep me safe.

 

[blueangel371115]

I feel that often. The night is difficult for me. But I'm learning.

 

[NutritionNerd]

Eye tracking and visual attention to threating stimuli in veterans of the Iraq war
Journal of Anxiety Disorders 24 (2010) 293–299

Hypervigilance

is an increase in attention to threatening, potentially threatening, or trauma-relevant stimuli and is a widely reported symptom in post-traumatic stress disorder (APA, 2000). This symptom may have numerous manifestations including constant visual scanning for suspicious behavior in pubic places, an alertness for unusual sounds, noting of entrances and exits in enclosed places, constant checking of locks inside the home, or investigation of circumstances that seem out of the ordinary.

Hypervigilance

is also critical to theoretical characterizations of the disorder in which attentional biases toward threat is thought to be a central organizing feature in post-traumatic thought and behavior ([Chemtob et al., 1988], [Ehlers and Clark, 2000] and [Litz and Keane, 1989]). Such models posit that increased attentional bias to threat might maintain or even initiate other symptoms in the disorder such as intrusive memories, flashbacks, concentration difficulties, and avoidance behaviors.
...
The authors conclude that PTSD participants preferentially fixate on threat stimuli than do non-PTSD participants, particularly in the early stages of processing.
...
In this study combat veterans higher in PTSD symptom reports had larger pupils and looked longer at negatively valenced material.
There was also a trend for those higher in PTSD scores to look first to negative pictures in general and combat pictures in particular. There was no data that would support avoidance of traumatic visual material either in early or late stage processing. This last conclusion is supported both by the first fixation data as well as the dwell time
data which show no avoidance of traumatic stimuli in veterans with PTSD. Rather, the data is consistent with attentional bias and hypervigilance for potentially threatening stimuli.

...
Rather than avoidance, this pattern suggests an inability to disengage from threatening material in those higher in PTSD symptoms and highlights the ruminative quality of PTSD symptoms. In recent years, there has been increasing evidence to suggest that rumination plays an important role in predicting and maintaining PTSD symptoms (Ehring, Frank, & Ehlers, 2008;Michael, Halligan, Clark, & Ehlers, 2007; Steil & Ehlers, 2000). It has been suggested, for example, that ongoing intrusive memories and the playing out of unproductive ‘‘what if’’ scenarios are all associated with ongoing PTSD pathology.

It is also suggested in this work that these ruminative symptoms are the targets of patient initiated avoidance strategies that become dysfunctional in and of themselves. The fact that veterans higher in PTSD scores spent more time rather than less looking at negatively valenced pictures suggests that they could not disengage in a way that might minimize threatening input.

It might be that this feeling is related to hypervigilance or hyperarousal. If you are constantly looking for something it is possible that the brain might manufacture what you're looking for. I'm pretty sure that bias plays a role in visual perception.

In other words you're consciously or subconsciously looking for someone behind you and getting some false positives.

(some of the above article may not be relevant but was interesting in it's implications)

 

[Jacquie]

PRE- ptsd : A noise in the house at night. Oh the timbers creaking (momentary conscious thought then dismissed)

POST - ptsd : A noise in the house at night, first JUMP (and that has nothing to do with anything I am thinking) and next trying to figure out what it was, where it came from, what might have caused it etc

My ability to identify simple things seems to be impaired if I jump. And at the same time I have a need now for things to make sense.

Now I am learning more about the physiology of this thing here is what I think (for now)

The adrenalin and F or F, floods the brain/body and tells it react dont think. The key is the body makes it so it cant think! grrrrrrrrrrrrr And being a 'thinker' normally and being able to easily identify, assess and act or dismiss (consciously) this NOT being able to identify, assess, dismiss/act thing is actually very very frightening. Because nothing 'makes sense'.

Its like trusting a perfect stranger who says walk across a rope over Niagara and then we'll talk about it later. Might I add BLINDFOLDED!

The adrenalin has made me (in a sense) blind, because my normal mental observation and processing is shut down. So of course things will be more scary. And of course we will subconsciously stay more alert, if the normal processes arent working.

Its like one part of the body (F or F) is stuck on (when its only supposed to be for a few short seconds) but which is biologically designed to save your life (without relying on conscious thought) and yet the conscious thought part which is necessary (in our current way of life) for actual survival these days, is being screwed with and fighting to get its senses back. BOTH related to survival and BOTH trying to be dominant and BOTH screwing each other up and yet perpetuating each other.

While this little war of mind and chemistry is going on, we ARE actually more at risk than normal because BOTH of our survival methods are malfunctioning.

I couldnt understand why Murphy's Law had moved in all of a sudden and become my constant companion. Normally things go right and well things go RIGHT and now every damned unlucky, miserable or bullshit thing was happening all at once when I could least cope with it.

I'm having a good day here so I'm going to get this out while my brain is functioning. THATS THE KEY! When I am normal and able to think, those things arent a biggy, because I just get them sorted out in 5 minutes then things are RIGHT again. But when I am in that fog......*I* cant do it, cant figure it out, cant fix it....and so it remains undone or screwed up or wrong. And life is a constant state of being surrounded by things that are screwed up and me feeling overwhelmed by them, because my brain wont work right in order to get it sorted.

I dare anyone without this thing, to take some kind of drug that makes it so your conscious, but cant actually think or figure anything out, then get set loose in a city or a jungle where they have to negotiate things that require thinking in order to not get yourself killed. Even crossing a street at the right time, boarding a train, not annoying the hell out of a drug dealer, let alone dodging bullets.

Then lets see if those people get a little jumpy as well, when they start witnessing that their own judgement is way out in left field, and they stop trusting themselves and their own ability to navigate this world safely.

(grrrrr over)

EDIT: The inability to disengage from something dangerous or threatening might just be that we are trying so damned hard to figure out what to do with it, how to process it, but being unable to, are frozen there, knowing we need to, but it wont come. It remains an unresolved thing, while we are trying to process it.

 

[NutritionNerd]

I think it's glucocorticoids that cause brain fog but I may be wrong about that.

One of the ways CBT and therapy can help is by programming some automatic response that will help you get a handle on the runaway reactions. I had a lot of problems with the exercises that I was supposed to do every time I got activated because typically I didn't have enough brain control to be able to do it. I think I've turned the corner as far as having a wedge in and at the very least can minimize damage around me. (no broken dishes in about 8 months!)

Take a look at this website explanation for the anxiety loop and how it differs between different genetic groups.
Link Removed

I think CBT helps by increasing your ability to feedback rational thought into it.

 

[Anna]

I have this too, and sometimes I jump at the site of a shadow. As people have said above CBT can help.

 

[Nemone]

Yeah, I get that whole "brain not working" thing. I had a period of time about a year ago where any time I got on the phone and had to make an appointment or even to order take-out, or at the doctor's office even, I would forget things like my phone number or my kid's birthdays, my social security number. I think I almost couldn't remember my own last name once for a bit at the doctor's office. The only thing I could do to comfort myself was every time I had a phone call to make, write down all the information I had to say on a paper, even my own name and everything. I wrote down stuff to take to the doctor's a few times too. I'm not as bad now but I still write down all my own information before calling places because if I don't then who knows what I will forget when I am stressed out. It's really embarrassing to be standing there stuttering because you don't remember your own name or can't remember your own information and it really destroys your confidence to be able to handle emergencies or even ordinary calls. I think I went to get medication for the first time after that started happening.

I also spend a lot of time waiting for days when I "feel better" to handle things and of course it doesn't really help much since the things I need to get done just build up. I want to try and find a therapist in the area who does CBT and see if it helps me. I've tried applying a few of the pieces of advice I've found online about helping yourself panic less and sometimes it does help a little but I know I need a pro since who knows how I'll be like if I end up off my medicine again sometime. Probably just another paranoia but I'm always thinking about "what if" something happens and I don't have any medicine to calm down my anxious tendencies. Probably not going to happen any time soon but I can't help thinking about it.