I feel like that sometimes first thing in the morning. Everyone wakes up at different rates and I am kind of a "surfer" in the morning, letting some first thoughts go by me until I find one that I can paddle into and ride to the sink and brush my teeth and hit the showers on. I am pretty aware of my normal wake up rate and it goes mostly unchanged every morning. Until it doesn't.
Maybe a couple of dozen times in my life I have been stuck in a limbo land between sleep and awareness for a long time, usually hours. I can't always recall the whole episode, the start is especially fuzzy, like coming out of an anesthesia after a surgery. I know I have hung in the limbo world for hours, really trying to shake it off but not able to. I have to admit that I like it, sometimes enough to just say screw it and turn on some music and enjoy it like an opiate buzz. Sex is also a welcome addition to this state.
My nightmares tear me apart some mornings and those thoughts are the ones I try to let pass by until a good one I can catch into comes along most mornings. I think that maybe the worst terror gets damped out by a huge release of dopamine or something and I am allowed a little bliss in my life from time to time. My lizard brain (fight or flight primordial early evolution leftover deep brain stem brain) may have a survival alarm that gets set off when the bad memories and fear and adrenaline become a deadly suicidal storm surge and it orders up a sedative that keeps me dumb and happy long enough to let the tide go back out. I don't know, I don't care. If they had a sure cure for this I would skip that appointment. If there is a favorite part of being sick, this would be it for me.
