Finding The Confidence For New Job

[PinCushionPrincess]

I'm sitting up now unable sleep and feeling terrified, and I think it's all because of work developments. Tomorrow I am going for coffee with a manager who is advertising a new job I want, with a view to applying for it.

I am qualified for the role, with appropriate experience and it's a job I've been wanting for a while, that has finally come up. My problem is confidence.

I have always been a good interviewee, I have only had one job I've interviewed for that I haven't been offered. But that was years ago. The job I'm in now I feel rubbish at, it does not play to my strengths and I feel lacking. Others around me who are younger, less educated and with less experience have been promoted ahead of me. Part of this is down to the fact that last year, the job just became too much for me, I had a mini break down and three months off. I've had the odd day off sick here and there since, having returned to work in Sept. Because of this, and because it's not what I want to do, I didn't go for the promotions that were available, however seeing those who have got them reminds me I am "under performing".

The job I want to go to would be a promotion, it's what I want and is relevant to my skills and experience. I am just so scared that with the long sickness last year and my underperforming in my current job because of my PTSD will go against me when I apply for the new job. On the other hand, I know I just need the confidence to go for this, and sell myself for it. I'm scared, but this is what I want, I just somehow need to find the confidence to go for it and not let my PTSD hold me back like it has

Sorry, this is far more rambling than I'd intended, I didn't mean to go on...I just wonder if anyone has any advice on how I can build up my confidence and go for this job, and not let my PTSD and the knock of confidence it has given me hold me back in a job I don't want to be doing and don't feel good at, when one I want that is suited to my skills has just become available

 

[KwanYingirl]

I just advised my daughter on the same subject! If nothing more, it's your opportunity to express to them that it has been your ambition to reach this next level. Also, prepare a set of questions to ask them. The questions can be anything you want to know for the future. You had an illness and are now back to work. Moving on... You exude confidence in your post. So all you need to be is the authentic you, which is right for the job.

 

[lisa1979]

Yes!! And remember, an interview is not just about you selling yourself for the role...it is about the role being sold to you too...they need someone to take that position as much as you feel you want it...so the pressure is not just on you. Just remember that the person interviewing you is not as the highest position...if they want a promotion or a job, they to have to interview for it and they will go through nerves and worry over how it will go. They are human and they have problems in their lives that they have to tackle on a daily basis too.
Just go prepared just like KwanYingirl said, take questions with you so that you are in as much control as they are.
You know you deserve this, you know you are more than qualified...thats reason enough to be confident! Tell yourself that and then just transfer it to your body! Chin up, back straight, eye contact, smile, firm handshake and speak clearly!! You wont go far wrong :)
Good luck!!!! X

 

[PinCushionPrincess]

Thanks for the responses guys. Today isn't actually an interview, it's just a coffee with the manager, I haven't even applied for the position yet. And when I do, I know I'll interview fine, I'm pretty good at interviews. It's just finding a way to believe that if I do this I won't suddenly find all the stress triggers a breakdown like before, and the self belief to know that even though I'm not great at the job I'm in now, and with all the issues I've had with it and illness, that I CAN be great at another job, and that I can get on with life and my career without PTSD getting in the way, esp as it's not being treated right now (ok waiting list) and if it came to it, I'd have to explain to a new boss about needing time off, and probably also about the large chunks of sickness I've had over the last couple of years

 

[illusionist]

I don't think anyone can tell you how to stop Ptsd from getting in the way of your life and career....all we can do is use coping skills and make life changes to minimise the effects it has on our lives. There's lots of good guidance on this site..practice, practice and more practice.
I always aim to be competent at something, for me, to aim to be great at something, is too high an aim initially....I take it in steps building up with experience and confidence..so I take some of the stress away when I'm having days that I don't feel I'm so great.....being competent is perfectly acceptable...I tell myself.

The needing time off and the large chunks of sickness is a tricky one. I've known people to admit to mental health issues and have been taken on as they've been able to prove that they have their illness under reasonable control...a tricky situation.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I started my own business thirteen years ago and am also on disability. I do not tell anyone I'm disabled unless it interferes with our relationship. I have gotten all the grants for women in business that I have applied for without explaining that I can only work 20 hours a. Week. I advise not disclosing health issues unless you feel comfortable with the specific question about it. The clients I tell are always very supportive and don't leave me.

 

[PinCushionPrincess]

Thanks KwanYingirl, it's great to hear that. The job I'm looking at is within my organisation, and as part of the application process you give the prospective managers access to your personal review, which for me of course will mention that much o my work last year was affected by illness (it won't be specific about that illness). They'll also see my sickness record, which for the last 12 months has been pretty bad.

Obvs I will only mention it if I'm asked, and I will tell them what my current managers know (only that I was attacked, and this has led to issues with depression, anxiety, sleep) but of course it is an ongoing issue, and when I get to therapy I will have to ask for regular time off for that, so I won't be able to keep everything from them even if I could or wanted to. I guess I'm just nervous that my previous health record will tell against me (and I can't promise them I'm better, because I'm not and I'll need working hours around therapy when it happens) and the effect it has had on my current job, which was never for me anyway, so it's no surprise that it had an even more detrimental effect. My confidence has been knocked by the negative effect the PTSD has had on my current job, how useless I feel at it at times, even though I have been doing it for years and am more qualified than others also doing the job. I know it's up to me to build my confidence and believe in myself and trust myself that even though I'm not good at what I do now, I can be good at something else, that the PTSD will not be a block to that...

 

[seedling]

It sounds like you have a lot of good self-talk going about your situation. It's hard to get every negative voice to be quiet, just keep listening to what you want for yourself and working towards it.

If you have to answer questions about your health history, say however much you decide to, just be genuine when you say it. "I was attacked, I suffered for a period afterwards. I will be continuing treatment, as I am able to schedule it in the future, and may need some flexible work time to accommodate that. I anticipate that this treatment will be effective at controlling my symptoms."

You don't need to apologise for it, it's something you are dealing with and are taking care of.

You could offer solutions for how you could get your job done even with the time off for treatment. You could try to treat the health issue as simply an inconvenience that can be solved. The real focus can be what a great job you are going to do in the new position.

Good Luck!