First Session With New T Tomorrow

[FindingMyself88]

well it's been two weeks since I saw my old T for the last time. I won't lie, it's been really hard. Especially because I had to go see family for two weeks afterwards which has been very triggering. Whenever things come up I think "I need to tell *C* this" and then I realize I won't see her again.

She had told me before I left to call when I got back into town and see if the new T had any openings. The earliest appointment she had had was Dec 14. Today when I called she had a cancellation for tomorrow morning.

This should be a good thing but I'm super nervous. What I need is to be seeing my old T tomorrow. This is the WORST possible timing for me to be seeing a new T that I don't know. I've been fighting so hard just to stay out of crisis mode and considering day treatment options has been a real concern. So instead of seeing someone I know and trust to talk about everything tomorrow; I'm having to see someone new. My T said she would try to fill in the new T as much as possible, but it's still going to be difficult.

I'm also still concerned about the age issue. She's basically the same age as me.

 

[Ronin]

I'm also still concerned about the age issue. She's basically the same age as me.

Hi there,

There can still be a wide experience gap, though. I'd keep that in mind.

On another hand, I understand if age is a wall to your therapeutic process and absolutely crucial to have someone older than you guide you through recovery.

Is there a way for you to talk this (whole the situation and your anxieties over it) through with the new therapist, prior to seeing her for consultation? Are calls / emails, an option?

 

[scout86]

I'm also still concerned about the age issue. She's basically the same age as me.

My T is basically the same age as I am.....but we're both old. LOL I know this can be important, really, but at least give her a chance.

but I'm super nervous

I think that would be considered "normal". I think you'd be super nervous the 1st appointment, no matter what. She should really be EXPECTING you to be nervous. If she's not ready for that.......well, she hasn't done her homework then and you may as well find that out sooner rather than later.

I've been fighting so hard just to stay out of crisis mode and considering day treatment options has been a real concern.

This is a hard thing to have to deal with the first session, but it's where you're at, so I'd say throw it all out there and see how she handles it. Really! Your old T recommended her, so you can be pretty sure she's not flat out dangerous. The worst she could be is "not very good", right? That might not be helpful, but it's not the end of life as we know it either.

Will some of the "crisis mode" stuff be better just because you're home again and don't have to deal with family stuff for awhile?

Is there a way for you to talk this (whole the situation and your anxieties over it) through with the new therapist, prior to seeing her for consultation? Are calls / emails, an option?

That. Or......under the circumstances, can you email your old T and ask if she had a chance to get the new one up to speed and get a feel for how "up to speed" she is? I know that might be crossing a line with some people. Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure my T wouldn't have a problem with it, but that doesn't mean his fellow T's would agree with him.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I had a young (about 26) T last year and it didn't work out, that's five years younger than me, can you get someone older instead if it's a problem for you?

 

[Friday]

I am consistently amazed at the lives of many of my friends. While I've been spending the last 15-20 years doing A-Z? They've been spending them doing 1-26. They, in turn, are sometimes amazed at my life... Which baffles me on a gut level (I know my own life, it's boring), but I understand on an intellectual level is the same kind of awe I have about theirs. Wow! Such different lives! Such different paths we've taken!!!

Agree with @Cashew, age is far less important than experience & understanding. I've known idiots twice my age, and been blessed by the hearts and minds of those half my age.

My best wishes that your new T has experience & understanding in spades, regardless of their age, and if they don't? That you find someone who does.

 

[FindingMyself88]

My issue with her age isn't really about experience. If my old T thinks she has enough experience to help me- I trust that considering my T knows how messed up I am.

My concern is a personal issue. It's hard for me to trust people my age because I was bullied a lot through school, mainly middle school. I was bullied due to some factors of my abuse and traumas. What's worse is I am struggling really badly with these very traumas. So much so that when I first blurted it out to my T that I've trusted- I panicked and even had a hard time trusting her for a while. We never did get to talk about it again.

I told my T about my concerns before she left and she completely understood. She said she would talk to the new one and explain this. But she thinks if I can work through some of this, it would be a great help with these traumas. While I can see her point I'm just afraid now is not the right time. So much is going on in my personal life plus traumas coming up and holidays, etc.

 

[Ronin]

Maybe a different way to look at this:

She's the helper you never had then, growing up.

You have a chance at one now, and she'll be there for you.

(I know. It's not that easy to substitute, or even bring a person to one's life. But it's an option.)

 

[Chosen]

how did it go?

 

[FindingMyself88]

It went okay??

It hit me hard like I thought it would when I pulled up and saw my old T's car wasn't in its normal spot.

My old T wasn't able to update her a lot but she did read through my file. So we hit the basics of my history. She told me of several things she wants to do with me, one being trauma focused CBT and how that works.

She was understanding about how hard this is on me but she didn't seem AS empathetic as my old T. However that may be just getting to know each other.

I'm trying to be positive.

 

[scout86]

However that may be just getting to know each other.

That makes sense.

I'm trying to be positive.

Good for you! When do you see her again?

 

[FindingMyself88]

Not for two weeks unless she has a cancellation and then after that it will be almost 4 weeks due to Christmas and then me going to Colorado but after that it will be weekly.