Forgot How Ugly I Was For A While

[Leah123]

I... watched this video today for the first time. A friend played it for me. I had a very strong reaction to it. I felt myself in the video, deeply, in a way that I am now embarrassed and reluctant to share. But initially, I thought this video was powerful. I saw the monster get overthrown by an unlikely opponent. It has a lot of deep, poetic meaning to me, but I'm hurt now and don't want to explain it to anyone else.

I shared it with someone, and they had a bad reaction. I realized that... I forgot how dark, maybe, my inner sensibility is, that things like this had beauty and meaning for me. I feel very lonely at the moment and... sad and clear, too. Some people can't appreciate dark videos like this, and... sometimes I forget I'm different from those people.

I hope no one will watch it if it might offend or trigger them, but... I was hopeful that maybe someone else here would appreciate it too.

The video shows a den, sort of like a dog fight ring, set up, but with muppets. I'm saying that so no one watches it if they would be bothered by it. It has a redeeming ending, in my personal opinion, but now I know that what I took for granted as powerful and positive definitely is not for everyone.



The song is Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. I tried to post a link, but it doesn't seem to be working. Here's the youtube link, if you remove the space in the middle: [DLMURL]http://www.youtube.com/[/DLMURL] watch?v=ktvTqknDobU

 

[Emma13]

I have seen this video many times and the girl is who I connect with. It seems to me that in the video everyone except the band members underestimated her and she kicked butt in the end.

 

[cdg]

Cool song.

 

[Emma13]

Also I appreciate you because I have this darkness too. Sometimes it gets a bit scary.

 

[Leah123]

I'm just very hurt. I got so enthusiastic about this song, about the beauty in it, about her strength and the powerless having power, and beauty in the little moments, the purple flower in the forest...

but someone very important to me could only say it was disturbing, which keeps sounding like disgusting, and makes me feel disturbing too. If they can't stomach a video like that, how can they handle my life. :(

 

[Candleflames]

I have not heard of this band, heard the song or seen the vid. I thought it was beautiful and inspiring. The lyrics and music are incredibly powerful. The kind of powerful that tingles the whole body. Thank you for sharing. I have a new band to look up!

Personally I wouldn't call the video dark at all. However I am probably not the best judge of that.

And those little monsters are just to darn cute.

 

[Leah123]

I thought it was so.... amazing and joyful, almost, the way the bear defeated the monster, reminds me of the care bears from when I was a little girl. I loved them. :( I used to sleep with 20 stuffed animals lined up on my bed, in a very straight, orderly row, to keep the monsters away. But... yeah, I thought it was so striking and wonderful, the way that she had that gleam in her eye, the purposeful way she entered that terrible space and the surprise of victory... and the ringleader getting his due... I loved it.

I got so enthusiastic, well, I was just sure the person I shared with would appreciate it too- I wasn't thinking at all. :(

 

[Candleflames]

I was totally expecting something like the care bear stare. lol.

The clarity of the girls eyes is what really got me. Her purposeful and resolved look just hit me. That is one tough stubborn woman. I like her.

I love how the bad guy was Lou Diamond Phillips. He really knows how to play one. They have no lines so everything about them has to be conveyed through gesture or expression. That requires some skill.

 

[Leah123]

Thanks. I kind of don't know what to do. When the person said disturbing... I had a terrible moment of clarity, that... they were too whole, maybe, too... pure, almost, to relate to me. It was like a breakup moment, I don't know why I'm reacting so much to this.

 

[Candleflames]

Maybe they are disturbed by puppets in general. Like some people have a phobia of clowns.

Ever seen "The Dark Crystal?" This video doesn't come close to conveying the themes of light/dark that the movie did. The movie was magnificent. My kids watched it when they were little.

 

[Leah123]

I love the Dark Crystal!!!! It has always been one of my all time favorites, I have seen it many many times. Also, Labryinth and the Neverending Story.

The woman I shared with told me why she was disturbed, but... it just made me realize... she did not/could not appreciate the dark side of things, that even in what disturbs us there can be something compelling, that... that video, well, it's just too close to home for me, and she is too far away to get it, to appreciate it, to appreciate me. I'd just be disturbing too.

 

[Candleflames]

Sorry I should have clarified. The vid kinda reminded me of the movie. The bits of color set against the dreary background and how the hope is pinned on the youthful which often equates with the innocent.

Not many people can handle our kind of histories. It's ok to connect with them in different ways. It is a good thing to have these people in our lives as well as those who do get it. I hope you have others in your life that you can open up to.