Getting Worse Not Better

[Jane.l]

Just had another session with my T where I just shut down - I think I said about three words .

I used to be able to talk about more with him and it was just specifics and talking about flashbacks that would make me zone out but now anything other than normal conversation triggers me and I zone out or like today end up in flashback.

My T said today we need to work out how we can move forward in session because we are really not achieving anything . I feel hopeless and desperate I can't carry on living this nightmare but if I can't talk I can never get better and if there is no way of getting better there is no point .

 

[Al_Lurker]

Maybe you should explore another therapist? Or another type of therapy?

 

[keifer]

It will get worse as you process it. Then, it gets better. Note, I didn't say how long all that would take.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

I have not found help in therapy. The only thing that helped was DBT. Most mental health treatment is not even evidence based. Some is. CBT, DBT etc. This crap where they sit there and talk and ask us how we fee; never did a thing.

 

[digger]

I find myself at a very similar place at the moment and really not knowing how to move it forward either. Wrote something pretty much the same in my diary. Did your T have any suggestions?

Sorry not much help to you. Just wanted you to know you're not alone in getting locked into this kind of struggle.

 

[yoshixvx]

DBT has also been the most beneficial for me. Talking, not so much.. due to dissociative amnesia and also because I'm sick and tired of talking about what has happened. For me it doesn't change things, or make the aftereffects easier to deal with. Distress Tolerance, Mindfulness and Self-soothing work best for me right now.. as for a solution, I can't offer perspective. But "if you're going through hell, keep going."

 

[keifer]

I did CBT and PTSD yoga. I'm still angry, having flashbacks, hyper too, and gave up on therapy.

Are there any books on DBT you'd recommend?

 

[Jane.l]

Thanks for your replies - had a rather large melt down - god I hate all this up and down stuff - infact scrap the up !

@ Al lurker - it's a sensible suggestion but I am very attached to my T he is the safest relationship I have ever had and I really trust him -which in a lot of ways makes this all the more frustrating ! If I can't do it with him I don't stand a chance .

His therapy is mainly focused on cbt but he incorporates other therapies too .

@digger sorry I know you find this tough too. I did email my T later this afternoon and he has calmed me down and reassured me we will just slow everything down a little , take all the pressure off and if sometimes we have to talk about the weather then thats ok . Sometimes we just need to stop for a little and just be - full on trauma night and day is wearing and sometimes we just need to go gently.

I hate that I am so desperate to be able to talk and really let him in to help me and I just shut down but I think he is right I need to take the pressure off and slow it down . Why do I always forget this is all about tiny steps ?

 

[Al_Lurker]

You forget the tiny steps because you're human. My father had a platitude, cliche whatever for times when a problem seemed overwhelming - you have to eat an apple one bite at a time. I seem to recall that every time I'm faced with a situation that seems bigger than I can handle. There are other variations too....

 

[yoshixvx]

Are there any books on DBT you'd recommend?

A few, actually :)..

Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder - Marsha Linehan
Seeking Safety - Lisa Najavits
Don't let your emotions run your life - Scott Spradlin
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook - Matthew McKay
Depressed and Anxious: DBT Workbook - Thomas Marra
The Miracle of Mindfulness: A Manual on Meditation - Thich Nhat Hanh

 

[anthony]

Symptoms will get a lot worse, before getting better. Think worse for months to come, then progressively getting better for longevity.

 

[Hashi]

If you're spending the therapy session shut down and managing only three words, it's hard to see that this is going to result in any progress. I would agree with your therapist that it won't achieve anything. I suspect it might be actually reinforcing feelings of fear and helplessness.

Talking about the weather can help build up a relationship with your therapist, but it sounds like you need more than some general conversations to be able to work on trauma. Being able to do trauma work is not only about trusting and relying on your therapist. You need to be able to trust and rely on yourself more too.

I think DBT skills are a really good idea. Any and all skills are a good idea. How you feel about doing trauma work isn't likely to change much just by taking a break from it for a while. I think you need to use the break to get stronger and have far more skills so that you can feel safe enough to stay present. You need to practise them yourself all the time, however difficult that is to do.

If you increase your skills that will make a really big difference. If you don't, I'm not sure how anything will change.

What does your therapist say about skills and safety?