Going Back To Work - School Principal

[littlelostchild]

I've been off work for two years now due to PTSD and major depression. My triggers into my breakdown occurred at work, but were building with family matters, too. I am heading back when the new term begins in the fall with a new skill set and having greater self-awareness, but I am wondering how to handle the whispers behind my back which are certainly happening and bound to happen.

People talk - I disappeared with no explanation when I stopped working and teachers and support staff are bound to have their own ideas. When I went to the school where I will be working for a visit and tour last week, the secretary asked me if I was overwhelmed yet. I laughed and said, meh while I waved my hand. I will be transitioning back to work over a two month period which may get everybody talking about why I can't just jump back into the role. So much has changed, I am happy to have the time to thoroughly absorb the new procedures and environment. To me the transition is a blessing, but how do I handle people wondering why?

Migraines was what I told anyone who asked what my difficulty was before I stopped working.

I appreciate your help. I usually ignore the idiots, but some may ask outright. And PTSD aside, I am actually a pretty decent principal.

Thanks

 

[amethist]

Just tell them you had health issues that are now dealt with and your feeling fine. Don't go into detail as it has nothing to do with them.

Don't let the whisperers get you down, as they will have some one else to whisper about after the first week.

 

[Chava]

Agree with Amethist. It might be awkward but it will settle fast. It might feel difficult from your role, but you are also in a good place to set tone f professionalism...friendly, supportive, but focused on the work (the kids). Though I think of myself as an honest person, and part of me wants to tell everyone the whole truth, I've found even a couple friends have responded poorly when I told them I'm in trauma therapy. Likely they don't know how to respond, so they distance themselves, and that hurts. Point being, I am careful to trust only a couple closest friends with what I've been going through. Other friends and closer colleagues usually get a little on my chronic pain story (very true and relevant, but a convenient partial truth). Thankfully others rarely ask...I keep a short answer like I had some health things to work out. They don't pry if that's all I offer. Maybe they gossip a bit, but I don't care...they'll find new things to gossip about while I focus on my work and enjoy it. A close colleague reminded me that my health info is my private business (as an administrator I know you understand this too)...I don't have to share any of it. I can let people wnder if that's what they need to do...it's okay (fyi, I had shortened my hours for eating disorder and trauma recovery). So it might be awkward, just like the new kid entering 9th grade, but it will subside as you all get back into all the details of your work. Best wishes...

 

[Recovery4Me]

I am actually a pretty decent principal.

:hug:I have worked in education for 20 some years, so I can relate to your concern. I would like to offer that each school culture will whisper anyhow, no matter what you say or do. Remember, you are a hot topic as you are new, in charge and there exist a certain level of curiosity as to their job security, then placing their allegiance of trust in your goals and spirited direction. It is a natural order of things and you can use it to your advantage to 'herd'/lead the group together in cohesiveness.

As you know, a pizza meeting (or any type of food) works well for bonding as we break bread together, there is a form of community. Then perhaps do what you do best, offer how excited that you are to be back in the saddle and make this time one of the greatest years ever through full utilization of their talents as well as knowledge.

You do not owe them, as to why you elected to have the down time. You can simply nod when they ask personal questions, with a smile and a twinkle then offer warmly," That is a good question. I will get back to you on that at some point." They are not privileged to a personal relationship in a professional arena. Your reasons are your own.

Having strong boundaries, without defensive posture actually allows them to view you with respect. I know, I respect your position having been an instructor, teacher and professor. I guarantee you, this will pass and you will shine as you must love this area to return. You have a brave heart and thank you for contributing to the students, staff as well as faculty your dedication as well as expertise.

 

[scout86]

You could just tell people the truth and let them take it however they do. You don't have to go into details about the hows and whys. One reason I suggest that is that it's fairly likely that some of the people you deal with, students and others, probably have similar issues. You may not know it, maybe even they don't know it. You offer an example and, potentially, an inspiration. I know that approach wouldn't work for everyone and only you know if it would work for you.

I would be willing to bet that not only are you a good principal, I'll bet you'll be a better one now than before. Good luck as you move back to work.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I like the suggestion of saying health issues. I am a teacher and that is what I told the parents of my students when I took Wednesdays off in the fall and I told that to my co-workers as well. Only a select few knew what those health issues really were. As time went on, I felt more comfortable telling that I had PTSD, but I didn't go into too much detail. I wish you the best as you return to work.

 

[Maggiemay]

I am a teacher and know this tussle all too well :( I had 4months Off 2 yrs ago and everyone changed how they were towards we when I went back, I even fell out with my supposed best friend... :( I started a new job tho in September and love it - I can be me... Those who need to know I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD, but it's not held against me and I've received a lit of support,.

 

[littlelostchild]

Thank you all for your thoughtful suggestions. Saying that I had health issues is true and enough - I really like that. I am so excited to be going back, but anxious as well.

I have a strong support network that is not involved in my workplace.

Over time I may be able to tell more about having PTSD, I would like that, but I am not sure this is the time yet. I know that there is much to be gained by sharing, but in my position there is also a risk through stigmatization.

We will definitely break bread together. I am a firm believer in feeding people well at meetings!

Thanks!

 

[Calypso]

You don't really have to tell them anything it's none of their business the details of your leave of absence. I agree that you should just tell them that you had health concerns which has been dealt with. Remember those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.