Going no contact with a family member that is a narcissist

[Deleted member 12723]

You are welcome, @She Cat Happy New Year may it be a much better year.:hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am really missing the kids today and hate to feel like this so very much. I know that this is part and parcel of everything. I always had the kids for an entire week of their holiday vacations from school and I ache with missing this time with them.

It sort of hit me like a ton of bricks this morning and blindsided me. So here I am expressing the pain again and it is so tedious. I feel it like I have been suckerpunched in my stomach, that is where the feelings go.

I will eventually heal this sorrow I know. I need to reframe this entire thing, I realize.

I also know that if the scenerio ever happened in real life to be able to have this access to them again that I would be filled with being so nervous and scared that I would not know what to say to each of them because so much time has passed since I saw them last.

I surivived the first year with no contact. It is getting so much better for me as well. It is just going to take a really long time to be able to heal these wounds to myself. I do not know how hard this has been on them either.

I am still in disbelief that this has actually been going on for a whole year. It is so much better now for me and most likely they have also been going through their own stuff and had to learn how to manage it for themselves.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Just part of the roller coasters up and down ride @Rain . Some days are good and others just suck!!!! No other way to describe them. I really think that DBT therapy would help you tremendously. It would help you learn how to redirect those thoughts and feelings.

Hugs.......

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I really think that DBT therapy would help you

I will look into this for myself thanks.:hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had a bad anniversary reaction to the one year mark today but am feeling so much better now. Intense longings for connection to my family today which really sucked.

Overall I doing a lot better but today was really hard. I know that this is going to take time and although I tried every coping skill I had today was really awful.

The day brought me all the way back to the beginning of this process when everything went to hell in a handbasket. I was able to fully express how I experienced everything so that really helped.

I felt the full on rejection today and that really hurt. I am so relieved that today is behind me now and that I am feeling back to my new normal.

I recommitted to being done with my daughter until or unless she puts herself in treatment and experiences a real turn around but I am not going to hang around and hold my breath for anything either.

I am currently dealing with family of origin issues from my childhood and will call on Monday to see if I can get an appointment sooner. I cannot do this one alone at all.

I so want to achieve acceptance of what is so I can become unstuck but I guess that is going to take a long time for me yet.

I am grateful that I am being left alone and finally I am getting in touch with some real anger at my daughters sickness in her mind.

 

[Deleted member 541]

It will get better... it just takes time. Yesterday was my daughters birthday, the 6th, on the 20th is my oldest grandsons. To be honest, yesterday was just another day and I only remembered it when I looked at the date.

I know (as do many here) just how hard and hurtful all of this is. Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for your healing.....

 

[ladee]

@Rain, you are not STUCK, not by any means, you are doing the hardest work right now...the hardest work you have ever done... we are with you... healing work hurts... just no way around it... but you are not alone.... and very proud you are calling your T to help you get thru this.... love you and very proud of you for going to this place in your heart, it takes so much courage... you are NOT stuck... love you and have a lot of respect for you... you are going to be ok.... you are not alone....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I know (as do many here) just how hard and hurtful all of this is. Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for your healing.....

I will keep on reminding myself, yesterday was an anniversary reaction and I am feeling back to normal today so thank you. I really cannot wait to get to the place where these days do not rattle me like they do now.

you are going to be ok.... you are not alone....

Thanks for the reminders ladee. I am taking a break from feelings today. Just need a break from it all for my sanity. :hug::hug::hug:

 

[Deleted member 541]

Just keep busy, stay focused on what you want and go for it.....

 

[ladee]

Taking some time away from it all is good too... you will find your own pace.. and I know you are very tired of all this... and it can be exhausting, so taking time off, great self care... love...

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you @She Cat and @ladee, I had a nice relaxing day yesterday, yet woke up very down and depressed today. I hate the cycles I seem to be running through.

I need to cry this out so much and I am finding myself blocked and prevented from the release of shed tears.

I am going to get out of here later on today. I have to do some things around here and make some phone calls and I will get dressed and get out of here and find something to do,

Just that thought alone cheered me up. I have a craving for orange juice and I have been taking vitamin c regularly. It is going to rain for the next two days.

I feel better for expressing how I was I was feeling. I am feeling so much better now. What a huge relief.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Are you taking Vitamin D3 too????? Helps with fighting off depression!!!! Get your levels checked.