Going Through The Motions? Sometimes Yes

[Bluemax111f]

I see my therapist every other week. We talk current events, weather, politics, the stock market etc. The weather is warm so I sit on his couch with my legs crossed over, sip my coffee, flops kicked off and barefoot. Usually then says I have too much tan and need to be careful of that - duly noted. By then there is about 10 minutes left to my theraputic 45 minute hour. He asks me if I had any bad dreams, if I'm fighting with my wife, etc. Then it ends, I make my co payment and leave. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy and means well but probably has never been in a fight his whole life - probably not even a disagreement - and he is supposed to be assisting me with a LE combat related incident with death.

Moral of the story if sometimes we do what we must to keep the checks depositing. I am in treatment is all the retirement board cares about. Twice a year I send them a form that I am. The bureaucracy is fed, I am paid, and everyone is happy.

 

[anthony]

Sounds all a little pointless I guess from the therapeutic aspect... though if you're happy, all good.

Are you happy with it or not, is the end question.

 

[Bluemax111f]

It is pointless. That is my point.

 

[anthony]

Therapy is guided by you as well... you can change pointless into constructive. You control whether you sit in therapy talking about weather or resolving any problems you feel are present and you want to change.

 

[Bluemax111f]

Thanks for the advice. I never knew I had any input in the process until know. How could I have been so cynically blind?

 

[kers]

Yes, exactly. In my experience, my therapist goes only where I lead, for a multitude of reasons. A good question to ask yourself, when you find yourself falling into the chit-chat, is "What do I really want to address today? How frustrated or disappointed will I feel if I don't talk about it?" That gets me motivated, usually :)

 

[PinkLady]

My occupational therapist is having me fill in this chart. When I am experiencing stress or anxiety I record it.

The chart is WHEN (date/time), WHAT HAPPENED, HOW DID I REACT (symptoms, actions), NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, WHAT I COULD DO NEXT TIME. It is quite helpful for me. I forget sometimes when things happen then feel strange bringing them up later on, sometimes I don't know how I could handle it differently next time (sometimes she tells me she thinks I did okay, other times she has suggestions).. we talk about the negative thoughts and she usually asks me for evidence to support what I was thinking, and if there is any evidence that my thoughts were just me kind of getting ahead of myself.

I really recommend trying it out for a week or so, it helps me so much. Gives us a lot to work with. I go to one hour appointments and we are usually talking the whole time.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

While I agree that we have the power to guide therapy, I believe that a good therapist will press us to go in a direction we're not exactly comfortable with. Therapy isn't meant to be easy. If it were so easy, would we be paying therapists $100+ an hour? No, we'd be doing it ourselves!

I encourage you to talk to your therapist about your dissatisfaction. However, he may not exactly be a good fit for you in working through your trauma as in my experience, a trauma therapist needs to have the will to drive his patients to deal with not so pleasant issues. And let's face it, trauma isn't ever a pleasant issue, but it does need to be addressed in one way or another.

 

[just me here]

@bluemax

cynically blind? I think you are being unrealistic about the whole process, and based on your statement 'twice a year' it sounds like it has been going on for a long time. The man is accredited and monitored, he has the tools and knows how to use them but it's up to you to show up and get him pointed at what needs fixed. Or just go through the motions and post on the forum about it. It's your time, use it however you want. Getting better is hard work and if he is happy to just sit and drink coffee, maybe he isn't earning his pay.

As a taxpayer, I would first like to thank you for your service (I assume you are USA) and then challenge you to get this guy or your next therapist to work as hard for the money as those of us that earned it and sent it to the government to spend as they see fit. I don't like the idea of seeing my taxes taken from my paycheck every two weeks knowing it is paying for some guy to sit in his office and offer stock market and tanning advice while drinking coffee in a comfortable chair every two weeks.