Group

[PTSDbegone]

I love the support group I started going to a month ago. It is for childhood sexual abuse survivors, and I think it's exactly what I needed right now. I have tried other trauma groups in the past, but I always found something was missing.


Tonight is the night I tell them my story. I wrote it down thinking it would help me stay present while telling it since I'll have a piece of paper to focus on. Writing it all down with the intention of sharing it out loud was a new experience for me. I wasn't sure what to expect. I feel no emotions towards the story right now. That may change tonight as I share it with the other members of the group.


I am wondering if others here in support groups have a hard time as well? I struggle a lot with sharing & not wanting to take up space, and I feel awkward like I don't belong. I hate feeling so uncomfortable around people. It's not just certain people, but all people it seems. However I think I do better in support groups rather than one on one therapy.

 

[fuzzypenguin]

When I was in group, that's exactly how I felt. Therefore, I hardly ever spoke. I did end up sharing my story but the very short version of it. I felt like it needed to be shared as background info for the tips I was sharing. Afterwards, there was a moment of silence until one of the leaders mentioned that I just shared my story. It kinda just slipped out. At the end of the last group session, I decided group wasn't for me & I decided I wouldn't be going back to it another semester. That's great you are determined to share your story! I hope to type mine out as a story to help get it out and/or tell my individual therapist to help me move on sort of speak. I hope it helps!

Congrats again! Whenever you want/can, please give us an update how it went!

 

[PTSDbegone]

Thank you @fuzzypenguin

I have been in other groups where I decided it wasn't for me. I do understand that. I think it depends on many factors for it to work.

I wrote down a lot of my story for my individual therapist just recently. It was super unorganized, and just written out in point form. For me it did the job at the time. I felt I needed to give her something as I had shared so little with her, and I sort of felt like I was wasting her time, and my time. I was kind of hoping it would give therapy a little jump start for me.

Thanks again for the support. I'll post tomorrow to tell you all how it went.

 

[Kailani]

I think initially any group is hard and from my own experience its always hard to share your story! I was in a group for PTSD and DID survivors and the members were wonderful beyond wonderful and really really helped me to get better to have some awesome times before the PTSD was ignited again. I would encourage you to try it out as you can handle it just because it would be great for you to reap some benefits!!

 

[PTSDbegone]

Thank you @Kailani

Wow a PTSD and DID group would be amazing. When I first started this group I made a promise to myself to try and put myself out there more, and share. I will try not to chicken out tonight. Anxiety has set it, but I know that's normal. Thanks again.

 

[joeylittle]

I will try not to chicken out tonight. Anxiety has set it, but I know that's normal.

If it helps - when you are reading it, just give yourself permission to say the words in order. In other words, you don't have to feel any feelings about them. I know that's not always easy or even possible, but sometimes the advantage of writing it out (which was super-smart, BTW) is that you don't have to think, you just have to read. You don't have to remember, you don't have to share...just say the words one at a time in order.

Thinking of you tonight.

 

[PTSDbegone]

Thank you so much @joeylittle that is sort of what I did while reading it at group. I was really glad I had written it down or else I wouldn't have shared my story at all.


I hesitated for a bit, but I dove in and read it in front of 6 other ladies. It was my first time saying it all out loud. I felt nothing while there, and reading it. I didn't feel anything until I left. Once I left the building I felt humiliated, so embarrassed, and shameful. I now don't know how I am going to face them next week at the next session.

 

[joeylittle]

@PTSDbegone - great job. Really, truly. I'm sorry you are feeling those feelings, I think there are many of us who would say that we'd have the same emotional reaction - I know I do, every time I say part of it out loud that I've never said to another person.

You'll go back, because it's important. I can tell you without even knowing them that none of the people who were in that room are thinking anything other than empathetic and sympathetic thoughts. It is a very naked thing, to share your story like that - but it's also the beginning of the road towards re-claiming your voice. It gets easier. And it's important.

You did really well.:tup:

 

[Kailani]

I am so sorry it was hard for u!!! They were probably as nervous as u. Did they share their stories too??? It may pay off in the end. How could they be anything other than caring and supportive???!!! You were honest and sharing-that's so unnerving. They know that. You did great!!! Go easy on yourself and treat yourself!!! Hope it goes better for you!!!

 

[PTSDbegone]

I thank you both so much. Yes you are probably right. I remember how I felt when they shared their stories. I guess I just have to remember that. I will force myself to go back. I know it's something I need to do.

Thank you again.

 

[Jewels]

Great job! I belong to a small group for women who have been abused and assaulted during childhood. I understand how hard it is to share your story but I am sure several members may be thinking that they have experienced similar things or feel the same way. I found that out when I shared my story. You have taken the hardest step in being transparent and allow members of the group to support and understand you. Change is extremely hard and you have started. This is a quote from the book Fight On by M.H. Clark, "The person you have been is not the person you will remain. Think of this as both a challenge and a gift" You have taken that step. Congrats!

 

[PTSDbegone]

Thank you very much @Jewels

Receiving support is another story all together! not always an easy thing to do.