Happy f*cking Father's Day! Dad

[aditi]

I sent my mum a letter two days before Father's Day to say I didn't want contact with either of them any more. I told her it wasn't really about her, more about him. I couldn't actually confront or say the words, but obviously they know. She never protected us but I know she was absolutely terrified of him and had nowhere to go and there were no welfare benefits in those days and he had her completely isolated.

My daughter has a narcissistic father and she had already, at 14, told him she didn't want to see him any more because of his selfishness (he isn't sexually abusive, other than inappropriate comments) unless he can change, and on Father's Day she dyed her hair blonde and wore purple as he had told her she couldn't do either of those things as they didn't or wouldn't suit her. It was her way of getting some separation, I think.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

"...don't call me daughter...the picture, it will remind me....." by Pearl Jam

Yeah, Happy Father's Day to my biological father who told me that I'm not his biological daughter at all and to my narcissistic "Dad" (his brother, my uncle) who only thinks of himself rather than anyone else. Father's Day was one minor trigger but doing everything else made me try to forget things.

I watched NASCAR, I boxed up a whole bunch of clothes and stuff to sell at a yard sale, saw an orb in my bedroom and went ghosting in my own house. There seems to be a heightened ghostly activity there in the past two weeks which makes me wonder if Elizabeth, my protector, is trying to protect me from something. There has been a plethora of storms lately and if you know ghostly activity, they love cloudy weather and will come out then.

I come to realize that my father is God especially in when in the Bible says, "When your mother and father forsake you, I will be your mother and father." Yeah, I cried but it was an angry cry, not a missing them cry if you know what I mean. I was angry at the fact that I cried for all of us here who have lost what could've been a great relationship with our fathers but it turned out to be nothing short of a fairy tale or horror story. We are not alone in our pain; we have one another.

For those hurt like I was and like you were, we're all in this together as a family. We all hurt together for one another, we care about one another and we will heal one day. Do I hate both of my fathers? No. God will be the judge of their actions one day when it comes time. The damage they've done to me and to others will be known when their soul has to be accountable for what they've done.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I haven't seen this thread in awhile. I had an okay Father's Day this year. We had a busy day!

Here's my favorite Father's day song. :geek:

Some particularly poignant lines from the song...

"You know I just closed my eyes, my whole world disappeared"

(you can) "take me to a place inside that is so hard to reach"

"You held the world inside your hands but you did not seem to know"

"I will never be safe. I will never be sane. I will always be weird inside. I will always be lame."

..."with a child of my own, and I swear I'm not gonna let her know all the pain I have known!"

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I cut off contact with my dad so many years ago. One of the last things he told me was that if he had it to do over, he would do the same things. I was molested and beaten in a ritual way along with my sibs.

Thank you for this thread.

 

[Muzikluvr]

(((gizmo))) I'm so sorry for you were treated so cruelly. I'm glad you cut ties with your dad.

The woman who founded Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis, did so out of her great love and respect for her own mom. She was very proud of her mother, and her gesture was sincere and appropriate for the contributions her mother had made to her overall well-being. Jarvis was very unhappy about the turn the day would take, commercially and before that, materially. She had meant to create a day for people to recognize their mothers with sincere appreciation and reminiscing; not to send her flowers or other gifts. Rewarding a mother materially for the love, support and guidance she gave rather than to recognize her sacrifices to provide such intangible and vital gifts to her children was an abomination. What mother wants flowers for creating a safe and nurturing environment? What reward is a card or a box of chocolates for inspiring one's child to excel? Mother's day was not meant for every mother.

Father's day was created to compliment Mother's day. It was suggested by several different people, but the one person who gets credit for it's creation, Sonora Smart Dodd, was raised by her single dad along with her 5 siblings. While Mother's Day became a US official holiday in 1914, Father's Day wasn't officially a US Holiday until 1972. One reason it was stalled off was a fear of commercialization. By the 1980's, the men's gift oriented industries enjoyed it like a second Christmas.

Christmas. Another commercial adventure.

It's incredibly important to protect one's mental health. We often accept rough language and callous neglect as normal. (For instance, If I weren't damaged, that wouldn't hurt so much) In regards to advertising, we need to remember that those people are just trying to sell us something. They enjoy the saying, "A fool and his money are soon parted." They, like many ministers and politicians, understand our desires, and feed them. "Not speaking to your dad? Father's day would be a momentous occasion to bury the hatchet." Slogan for ties with hatchets on them, or hatchets (although, that could send the wrong message...). Anyway, for anyone trying to survive the holidays and being triggered by advertising, family, ministry, etc... you need to remember that everyone wants something from you. You don't owe them an open mind.