Hard Time With Friendships And Going Out

[Definitely..maybe]

Hi guys!

I'm in the midst of really struggling with my PTSD (namely anxiety and depression right now) and have really struggled to even want any relationships other than clinging to my family.
It feels like such an effort to go out with friends and I get so claustrophobic and anxious feeling, almost a horrible home sickness type feeling that leads me into feeling like I'm about to have a panic attack.

It's so frustrating because I see what I'm doing to myself and I just don't know how I'll even have a normal future with good friends or a significant other. All my 'relationships' now, friendship or otherwise, are mainly just texts and occasionally seeing people when I have to. I just wish I was normal, I just don't even feel like I'm a person sometimes.

Sorry for all that. Do you guys get it at all?

 

[Strongeras1]

First off please do NOT
Assume you are alone with these feelings or that something is wrong with you. Many of us who are coping with Symptoms of PTSDor anxiety disorders experience the exact same things you talked about in your thread. You have to realize that whatever you've went through wasn't normal, there for what your going through now is normal. if I may ask are you currently seeking any type of treatment/ therapy ?

 

[Ocean5]

Get it and know it all to well recent years. Important you are realizing.

So I didn't realize, or maybe I did...all about getting by day to day for me. Maybe next day or week things will be better.

So hard to deal with people. Kept good people out. People who could be helping me now... But just so hard to deal with people....

 

[Spiderallis]

What about trying it in smaller pieces? Instead of going for coffee or something with a friend, go in and pick up a carryout if that's all you're comfortable doing. Small steps towards where you want to be will still get you there, and yes, the slowness frustrates me too. The friends worth fighting through the fear to go visit will probably be patient enough to stick around while you're working on it. Then again, maybe my few social contacts and I are all enabling each other to be like this. It's different and feels new, so it might be healthy? I'm not sure. Our therapists all seem to agree that we're somehow beneficial for each other...

 

[VioletButterfly]

I hear you and get it. I'm down to texts with my satellites (friends) and an occasional call to my dad/stepmom. Other than business, I'm all up in my head or journal. Thank goodness for the boards. I agree with the former poster, small/non-threatening steps. I actually went out to meetup today to find a walking group. I thought I'd try. Also, I'm going to try to go back to my church. I love the music and message, and it's so big that I don't have to worry about anyone getting up in my space or business. We take on as little as we can manage, and build from there. We get it and it doesn't matter who else does or doesn't get it. It's our lives and we live it to the best of our ability. You do what is best for you at your own pace. Take care. :) VB

 

[Definitely..maybe]

Thank you guys so much for all the understanding and relatable comments! I am currently in therapy and working on things. And I definitely do my fair share of take out people (chipotle definitely knows me by name:inlove:).

It's just nice to not feel so crazy. I'm gonna keep trying to work on things, part of that I think means exploring new things and learning more about myself. I don't know. But thank you all for being there with me.