Has Anyone Else Felt This Way?

[Chrissy kilby]

Now first, don't get me wrong, I trust and like my therapist, she helps a whole lot.. But sometimes I wonder, does she really care? Is she only saying these things because she has to because it's her job? I'm in trauma therapy at the moment and I'm doing Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). So sometimes my overthinking mind wonders maybe she says the same thing to everyone else,. Maybe I don't matter. Is it just me? Or does anyone else get these feelings at all?

 

[franciemarnie]

I just want my T to do her job. I want to work with a caring highly trained astute professional who wants to help people heal, but I don't expect or want more. When I was young I did. I wanted someone to care for me then and like me a lot. But as I grew older, I just wanted a great T who could help me.

 

[macbeth]

In a word yes, I have felt like that before not just with my t but everyone. When my sef esteem was low I could not imagine that I had any redeeming qualities at all. Over time my T taught me to pratice saying thank you to compliments and such. That really helped me.

 

[jmni]

Yes. My T is very expensive and sometimes I doubt the effectiveness of the therapy. I know that I need therapy and have for some time so I continue to go. She has forgotten some very significant things that I've told her and she can't seem to keep the things/people I tell her about straight in her head. I realize that she hears a lot of things and speaks to a lot of people but I feel a little annoyed that she hasn't gotten my life straight yet. And also, yes I feel like some of the things she says are almost more life catch phrases and not really analytical or therapeutic.

 

[joeylittle]

My T reminds me sometimes how much he believes in his job and how important it is to him. I think great therapists care about all their clients in the way great teachers care about their students. It's not the same thing as caring about a friend (in a personal way) - it is caring about the individual, your impact on them, wanting to get them to their personal next level.

In this sense, of course she is "only" saying things because it's her job - but if she actually loves and cares about her work, then she cares about you, because you are the central figure in her work.

Anyway, this makes me feel better to remember. Maybe it can help you too.

 

[Skylynx]

This sounds a little cold, but it I had it to do over again, I would check to see if the T follows the newer techniques about treating Transference dependencies and attachment disorder. I started with my T a year ago before I researched about what techniques therapists follow, and I'm too dependent on her now to change therapists. Some of the old -school, Freudian therapists believe transference is bad and deal with it by 100% frustrating the patient to hope it goes away...sheesh!. The newer Dynamic Relationship therapists are trained to welcome dependency and help you through it step by baby step. That's the kind of T I want, but am not sure what kind I have. Too late to ask because I'm scared of rejection now, but I'm trying to work thru it anyway.

 

[joeylittle]

Some of the old -school, Freudian therapists believe transference is bad and deal with it by 100% frustrating the patient to hope it goes away...sheesh!.

Not totally correct. The Freudian model is very centered on transference. I believe, it requires it. The therapist sets themselves up as a "blank slate" so that the client can project whatever they need onto the therapist. Why you might think of Freudian as frustrating is that the therapist does not really "guide" the session. They are pretty quiet, so as to not "influence" the patient. Psychoanalysis (freudian model) therefore takes years to complete, if it's really what you are doing. I don't think it's well suited to trauma work at all, but they are the ones who invented transference as a therapeutic concept.

 

[alrite]

For me it important that the t is not affected by my story. I have a sence/compulsion to protect them. If I sence empathy the trauma disappears. Therefore cold is better for me. (But being a therapist my self, I think that's weird).

 

[Northgirl]

I think your concerns may indicate the level of relationship you have with your therapist. If you feel like she may say the same things to other people, maybe you don't feel very personally connected? I do think some of it depends on how they were trained, however, I do think some people are more into their jobs than others and have a real interest in their clients. Me personally I do think as some have said you can tell if they really care by their ability to remember things you've said and follow your story and almost know how you think. I'm very lucky in this way to have found someone who has showed he truly cares but I have had other experiences that have turned me off, for instance one who used examples that were triggering in relation to some of my life experiences.