Poll Has Your Abuse Left You With Any Permanent Physical Damage?

[girlshawn]

Wow Prime-no thank you for sharing. Hugs

 

[maddog]

I've recently had to do a lot of confrontation and acceptance of much of the lasting physical damage done to me by my father. Just as with my emotional pain, I have spent my entire life blocking out my physical pain and injuries, and just as with my emotional pain, it seems that fate is forcing me out of that denial.

Sometimes it seems there are too many things to count. I have a serious heart condition brought on by a serious assault/electricution at age 11. I have multiple untreated bone breaks and fractures. I am told I will one day require reconstruction of a knee that was smashed with an iron bar when I was 6. I am now dealing with teeth and facial nerve damage sustained through multiple facial trauma and jaw breaks. And I believe there are other things - things I know aren't right, internally, but which I have never had the courage to face. Maybe it's impossible to endure violent rape as a young child and to not be damaged...

Right now, the reality of my physical brokenness is more distressing and overwhelming than I could have imagined. It's starting to feel unbearable... but I am trying to tell myself it's not who I am, it needn't define me, and finding the courage to acknowledge what happened is the first step towards getting the help I need to remedy what can be fixed, to alleviaite some of the pain and discomfort, and to find another realm of acceptance of all that was done to me that was not my fault.

It's a very, very scarey road right now though.

Maddog

 

[girlshawn]

Maddog hugs and more hugs

 

[ChavaRo]

I have mild permanent hearing loss as a result of my trauma. It was very difficult to accept at first, but I've gotten used to it.

 

[Carla Martin]

Yes, I have a few small ones that people really cant tell what they are. However they are from cigarettes being put out on me as a from of punishment.

 

[Orglethorp]

I'm partially deaf in my left ear, and though I was prone to ear infections as an infant/toddler, I firmly believe that the permanent hearing loss is due to an injury that resulted from poor parenting. It wasn't direct abuse on his part in this particular case as he didn't injure me that time, but he let it happen. My cousin did it under his supervision.

I would get all dizzy and sort-of sick in my brain from "them".

I was also exposed to marijuana smoke, among other things, as a child and didn't understand what it was. I was also used to the overpowering smell of cheap air fresheners that were supposed to mask those other smells. To this day, I feel sick when I smell marijuana, but I also can't tolerate most mainstream air freshener brands like Fabreeze & Lysol. I have no biological reason to react to them, like an allergy, but I get a bad headache and an upset stomach anytime I'm in a room where something like that is being used.

 

[Carla Martin]

I'm partially deaf in my left ear, and though I was prone to ear infections as an infant/toddler, I firmly believe that the permanent hearing loss is due to an injury that resulted from poor parenting. It wasn't direct abuse on his part in this particular case as he didn't injure me that time, but he let it happen. My cousin did it under his supervision.

My family smoked a lot and my sister had many, many ear infections and it was from the smoke. Smoking is so harmful!


I was also exposed to marijuana smoke, among other things, as a child and didn't understand what it was. I was also used to the overpowering smell of cheap air fresheners that were supposed to mask those other smells. To this day, I feel sick when I smell marijuana, but I also can't tolerate most mainstream air freshener brands like Fabreeze & Lysol. I have no biological reason to react to them, like an allergy, but I get a bad headache and an upset stomach any time I'm in a room where something like that is being used.

 

[Orglethorp]

My family smoked a lot and my sister had many, many ear infections and it was from the smoke.

I've heard that can happen, yes, but my father didn't smoke indoors when I was that young. My exposure to all the things he smoked/etc. came after my parents split, spending time in his apartments where there were no other adults living there to complain about it.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I have a weakened immune system whether by severe neglect or the amount of medications I was forced to take. A cold typically lasts a month or more. I also have many scars on my torso that I don't remember getting. I'm not really sure what they're from, but I know they came from my teen years.

 

[intothelight]

There are scars, places that are twisted, and places where the bones did not heal properly. They are reminders of what was and a testament to what I will never allow again.

 

[Venusian]

I have internal scars that the surgeons just found last November. I have had pain all my life that I didn't even know was there until it was gone for a few weeks after surgery. The doctor removed a lot of scar tissue that she could reach when I had a hysterectomy but she couldn't remove or find all of it. The pain has come back worse than ever. Not because of the surgery, it is on the side she couldn't reach. It has slowly been building and getting worse for the past year and there had been no explanation. I am still trying to accept the latest flashback that brought a new memory back. It explains the scarring. There has been no other trauma that could explain it. There are different levels of pain, the deep ache that I can mostly ignore and the sharp, localized pain that

How do I deal with knowing where it came from now? I am doing what I can to manage it with medication and waiting to see a specialist to see if someone can tell me for sure what is causing it. Once I know that maybe there will be something else I can do. I used to wonder how what I remembered could not have left any scars. Now I know that it did, they were all inside where no one could see. I am not sure if I am dealing with that yet. Everytime the pain gets really bad and I can't take medication or I take it too late and it doesn't work well, I know I am not handling it well.

 

[cookinggal]

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I have large cut and burn scars from the abuse, they cant be repaired so I just avoid looking at them. What I would give to be comfortable to wear anything but pants everyday.

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I avoid looking and touching the scars and my significant other doesn't know where they are but that's okay with me.