D
Deleted member 50877
Hi there,
I‘m new to this forum. And new to PTSD. Habe been in therapy for about a year and a half and my therapist is great. We never discussed diagnoses much, I didn’t care. Three months ago I was mad and challenging him, I told him I thought I hae a personality disorder. He said he actuaöly thought I had PTSD. I habe been crying every day since then and struggling. The whole therapy is so helpful but so difficult.
we discussed my resistance around the diagnosis and things calmed down a bit. But last session I asked something and he did the bridge to ptsd amd I felt so betrayed. Cancelled the next session - my first cancellarion since we started and then I send an email sharing about how betrayed and humiliated I felt and how I was thinking of quitting.
he replied in what i (and neutral observers) thought was pretty harsh - he set a boundary, said he did not wish to discuss this via email and that we had pur session and that he hoped I would keep it so that we could sort it out. He also said that for the second time now I asked something directly and became undone by the answer. That scared me.
We have had ruptures before, but overall a good relationship and in the past he told me he would not quit me but would help me through it even if it’s difficult. Now I believe I must have pissed me off and he will surely scold me and that next session will be the last one. Either he will quit or me. I always have paralyzing anxiety around sessions, but now it’s so bad I can’t cope. I see myself only sitting there and staring into space. And most of all I am so scared I made him angry...
I am considering quitting - it’s almost as if I went too far. It’s also like since I started the therapy I am a mess 4 days out of 7, working myself from session to session. But my therapist is so good, I really like him and have made a lot of progress.. I‘m just so scared. I believe even if we fix this, he will surely start to set stronger boundaries (maybe forbidding me to send emails?) or just become mean..
I‘m new to this forum. And new to PTSD. Habe been in therapy for about a year and a half and my therapist is great. We never discussed diagnoses much, I didn’t care. Three months ago I was mad and challenging him, I told him I thought I hae a personality disorder. He said he actuaöly thought I had PTSD. I habe been crying every day since then and struggling. The whole therapy is so helpful but so difficult.
we discussed my resistance around the diagnosis and things calmed down a bit. But last session I asked something and he did the bridge to ptsd amd I felt so betrayed. Cancelled the next session - my first cancellarion since we started and then I send an email sharing about how betrayed and humiliated I felt and how I was thinking of quitting.
he replied in what i (and neutral observers) thought was pretty harsh - he set a boundary, said he did not wish to discuss this via email and that we had pur session and that he hoped I would keep it so that we could sort it out. He also said that for the second time now I asked something directly and became undone by the answer. That scared me.
We have had ruptures before, but overall a good relationship and in the past he told me he would not quit me but would help me through it even if it’s difficult. Now I believe I must have pissed me off and he will surely scold me and that next session will be the last one. Either he will quit or me. I always have paralyzing anxiety around sessions, but now it’s so bad I can’t cope. I see myself only sitting there and staring into space. And most of all I am so scared I made him angry...
I am considering quitting - it’s almost as if I went too far. It’s also like since I started the therapy I am a mess 4 days out of 7, working myself from session to session. But my therapist is so good, I really like him and have made a lot of progress.. I‘m just so scared. I believe even if we fix this, he will surely start to set stronger boundaries (maybe forbidding me to send emails?) or just become mean..