Having No Filter From The Brain To The Mouth

[skyp56]

I seem to spout off with things totally unrelated to conversations, or "out of the blue", as my mom puts it.

From what I have read, at least about abuse and incest survivors is that there can be a very directness and desire to control because of what was endured and being so utterly out of control as a child or in their abuse situation. I only mention that because I think it can contribute for some

ISH, yes I believe this is my problem too. I feel I have to speak when I can because I never know when I am going to "get permission" to speak again, just like when I was a child and was told to shut up all the time.

I also go to do something, do 10 other things completed unrelated and then forget what I was going to do in the first place. Sometimes this goes for a whole day.

Clydiechick,
yes, I do that too--forget what I went into a room for. We call it the "hereafters" (I forgot what I was "here" after, lol!). There's a joke about that, that I'll I have to find and post in the joke section.


Ebell, your entire post sounds just like me! I had so little outside communication when I was young and in the developmental stages that I now believe I am very limited, perhaps even severely developmentally disabled, in the area of being able to communicate. That's why this board is so important to me, to learn how to communicate effectively by reading the way others here do it.

Anyway, I've never really thought about PTSD being the cause for this, but it fits, somehow.

She Cat, thanks for this interesting thread!

 

[Mina]

Good question, She-Cat! My sister and I have this issue as well, although it has gotten better in the last few years; we have been learning to "monitor" ourselves better. It tends to be that we will discuss just about anything with anybody...and I am also known for being kinda random.

I didn't realize this wasn't normal until I started dating my now-husband. He brought it to my attention that I didn't really have boundaries or filters on conversations, especially about sex, and that it was confusing to others. For example, to me something was just conversation, but to a man it was an open invitation. Ding-ding! Light went on and explained a lot of my past troubles with men, getting hit on, them assuming I wanted to sleep with them, etc.

As children, we weren't allowed to say much (and certainly not have opinions or speak our minds) and were discouraged from talking about non-religious subjects, so we never learned conversational norms. So many things were just completely never allowed discussion, so we didn't learn to have any appropriate filters. I suppose you could stay it's PTSD-related, as our messed up childhood set the stage for PTSD from singular events later in life (my dogbite, her attack).

The subject-matter thing is much better - especially now that I'm not dating anymore, lol - but I still deal with the basic aspect of this fairly often though. If you've seen the movie Up, I feel like the dogs in it - "SQUIRREL!!!" (and if you haven't seen it, do so...very funny). E.g., If I am having a conversation with someone, I will interrupt it to say something about the bird I just saw. Or the blue car which just drove by. Or something I just remembered. :rolleyes: I'm not ADD, just...don't know what! I am learning to say, "Sorry about that, you were saying..." and repeat what we were talking about to show that I was actually listening and just got sidetracked.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Oh Mina, how I chuckled reading your post.......Yes, you described ME very well.....LOL!!!!!

I have not seen the movie *UP*, but will put it on my list of to dos......

Thanks Mina, as you have hit the nail on the head very well......

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, as someone who deals with this issue almost daily, I feel I must jump into this conversation with both feet.

The only thing worse than being someone with no "filter" is trying to converse with someone who has no filter.

Let 2 people with this issue talk to each other and you have one of the funniest conversations ever heard.

I know this, because, you ask????

Well, when Wendy and I try to talk via web cam I need a road map to keep up with where she is going. She can take more little turns in her mind which then pop out of her mouth that keeping up is almost impossible.

This woman needs an operators manual to understand, or at least a rewind button so I can figure out 'WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT".

Filter, NOPE, Wendy was apparently in another line when filters were passed out.

Now she does not speak inappropriately, she just speaks about anything and everything. She then forgets the order of her subjects and that is when I get totally lost. So when she is on subject 3, I am answering the question she asked during her subject 2 period.

But, I must say, we do have fun, laugh and just generally loose our train of thought
at every turn. Makes our conversations interesting to say the least

 

[pandora]

Well..I a m actually quite the opposite..I am afraid to say things sometimes for fear of saying the wrong thing, sounding stupid, looking stupid..blah blah..I do relate to the fact that often when my anxiety is up my brain cycles and goes non-stop but it often makes me shut down..and then I do not speak and I isolate...

I do relate to the load of shit in your pants...that was funny!!! Back injuries do exactly that and we walk funny..:rofl: I think I have actually said that out loud a few times too....you are comfortable with Herc, that is a good thing!!! It means you are normal and no one is perfect...

 

[Grainne]

Great thread She Cat!!! lol..yeah, this is SO me. I, quite often actually, notice someone who was previous totally engaged with me start to look slightly confused in the middle of our conversation. My brain moves faster than my mouth, I always say...lol. I do get myself into loads of trouble if I don't slow down and watch myself. I find myself constantly checking in at work...(run that through...sounds ok...right, NOW say it out loud!)

I do this when I read also. Eyes barely skim the page but my brain processes the words somehow. I'll polish off a novel in a weekend with ease..

Grainne

 

[onebravegirl]

I had the same problem. I wonder if it just that the brain is so over active and hyper vigilant that it sparks synapses randomly.
On the other hand, it made things more amusing sometimes.
On the other hand, I was too tired to care what I said.
On the other hand, I was angry at the world and wanted to shock the hell out of it.
Whatever. It passed after about two years. Now I think before I speak. I still say what I think, But I at least know what is going to come out of my mouth!:rofl::dontknow: