General He Is So Angry With Me! When Not To Apply Pressure

[Jen]

Sorry to hear what he is putting you through Hannah hang in there wont you
its been tough.
Jen

 

[hannah]

thanks guys

He has humiliated me - but you know I keep thinking he cant hurt me anymore and he does. had a text very early this morning

" it was only an ego boost cause my self esteem is so down. I am unable to forward think the consequences of my actions and I have now removed myself from the dating site Sorry."


I dont know why he lies and then gets back on track.....why is he like this will this just take him futher underground?

No normal woman puts up with this - he looks awful - he is drawn - protective of his space and has written off his family. Last night I hated the man that was in front of me.:angry-fla

 

[jods]

Sorry to hear your husband is doing this to you.
Hope you're ok. BIG HUGS to you!

 

[hannah]

Hi guys thanks for the sympathy- Hes really repentant about his "mistake" didnt realise the consequenses! Daughter had a real go and son was embarresed. NOt sure what to think anger has dissipated. He has apologised profusley for the man he seems to have turned into. He says he seems to do things without forward thinking ! unable to.

but hes thought about and changed his job! hes off overseas this week perhaps he'll face some of his demons there? who knows.
just cant answer his emotional state about our marriage and family! I dont want to instigate divorce as I believe I will regret it.

just have to strengthen my courage to ride this -
"what doesnt kill us makes us stronger!"

 

[dazednconfused]

I know what you are going through......

My husband just keeps threatening divorce and one minute is nice to me and the next you would think he is the devil himself. I have not instigated divorce either, because I know I would regret it, but when he does file, if he does file, then it will be a fight to the finish I guess. I really hate how my hubby looks too. He is so sad and withdrawn and his mama says he only sleeps 2-3 hours a night. He still goes away on the weekends some of the time I guess. I am getting to where I don't even keep up with it anymore. I am just taking care of me and my little boy like you guys have been telling me from the beginning. Only days like today when he starts the "I am still going for divorce" routine is it upsetting to me. It is like he wants to just have it hanging over my head or something. His mama thinks he really does not want a divorce, he is just "sick" and that she hopes he really will not get one. She thinks he really does not know what he wants either and he would regret it later on down the road and it would be too late. I am just trying not to think about it and wait to see. No need to worry. It will either be here soon or not. I am just trusting the Good Lord to get me through this. He knows what we need in our lives even if we don't.

Hope things get better for you Hannah and just smile even if you don't feel like it. It helps me...

dazed

 

[hannah]

hi dazed - games mind games and we take it on board. how can another person in the whole wide world upset another so ? because we allow them. glad to hear your getting on dazed but can also feel your pain we are in very similar situations yea?

Hes back near the war zone soon and I hope it admonishes some demons - ranger said it could well do ! he is more approachable at the moment been here to see us before he goes told us all about his new job and admitted to me a few revelations - he knows he has to keep his temper in check and needs time to understand how he got to be in a house on is own! I complimented his little forward steps and he sounds more positive.


get me off this roller coaster I feel nauseous. He too looks very drawn still and is very emotional breaks down in tears about the past! is crying a symptom for a bloke ! or just guilt coming through any ideas please take care all tomorow is a new day !!!!

 

[dazednconfused]

I know what you mean....

If you have read any of the other stuff I posted today, you might feel like you are really doing okay. Lawyer told me I most probably will either be foreclosed upon, have to sell or even if I can pay everything, I will have to sell and give my husband half of any of the profits. Not that I mind sharing! YEAH, RIGHT!!! I don't want to share. I want to be able to be in a good financial shape in order to take care of our child and for the last 17 years I let him handle all my money, all the finances and look at this now, he can just walk out and leave me virtually penniless and go to motels every weekend and talk of other women, etc..., etc.... Does he have no shame? What happened to this man's heart? I would like to just......, well you get the picture. It would not be nice to say on here the things I have in my mind right now for him!!!!

I know he may be sick with the PTSD, but we still live in reality and he is going to have to face it before they come to foreclose I suppose, wouldn't you think.

I am about sick with worry, but what can you do. I will just pay what I can and do the best I can I guess. For right now things are caught up, but unless I can get him to pay more and I doubt that unless they put a court order with it, it looks like not only my ship, but his is sinking and the lawyer said the only way we could get outta this one is to quit our jobs and have nothing and that is just not possible for me, but my hubby says he will do it. Isn't that so mature:dummy-spi !!!!

Oh well, like you said life as we know it goes on. I am still going to be happy no matter what. The devil thinks he has me beat, but God is still on my side and I trust in him.

love ya'll!

dazed

 

[kguyton]

Oh Hannah - I feel your pain, girl! The thing is - I got angry when I read your post because my husband "pulls" the same crap. It doesn't seem fair to me that this disorder alleviates a person of all accountibility, responsibility, and stress. We are just supposed to watch what we ask, how we ask and minimize any discomfort in this person's life. What About the spouse???? My God there are two people in the relationship - and I for one am tired of kissing butt and taking all the heat for both of us. Sorry - I guess i'm not a very good wife or support to you - but I do feel your frustration and just have a different take than the "healthier ones" here.

 

[hannah]

where did you come from and how pleased am I to hear your anger - it reflects the way I feel = want to support but want to scream and shout at him sooooooooo frustrating - hi you share some more kguyton.....I feel as if I am failing as a wife but deep in my heart know I have given all and everything ... ready to announce the coup de grace ..... again .... so rollercoasterish...sorry

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Hi Hannah
My wife has to constantly walk on eggshells with me. I wish things were normal again, but I know that they never will.
Just be there for him as much as you can, he will come round eventually.
I have a friend called Taff, he is worse than me with Combat Stress. He walked out on his wife in September saying he wanted a divorce, but his wife refused to give in and fought to get him back again, he is very suicidal and his mind is a mess at the moment.
Keep on going Hannah it is all that you can do.
Chin up mate
Scott:kickass:

 

[hannah]

Hi Scott - thanks Did Taff go home ? Perhaps his wife could be pointed here it would help her - this is an awful awful thing the British Army is not acknowledging like the US - I wish I could do more to bring it to attention but because it attacks a mans pride and very proud men at that is pushed underground in the forces and wouldnt do much for recruitment would it.

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Hi Hannah.
Yes my friend Taff went home just before Christmas, he spent a long time in the Combat Stress place in Surrey. And they helped him, his problem came about when he served in Northern Ireland and the Hotel that he was in was blown up by the IRA.
His wife Sarah is a very close friend of mine and my wife, we helped her a lot when Taff left, his mind was so messed up. But he is back home now and that is good news. And slowly he is getting better. Taff is half Welsh half Hungarian, and Sarah is a Yorkshire lass and both of them are as stubborn as each other. But they love each other to bits.
Take care Hannah
Scott:thumbs-up