General He Wants To Call Everything Quits, And Give Up On Everything :(

[wont.give.up.on.him]

Almost 2 years into our relationship and out of the blue he wants to call it quits for no reason. We have an awesome relationship, very loving and non-confrontational. His meds were changed 4 months ago and since then there has been distance and a slight change. He feels the new meds are helping more but for him to hit a low I believe they are not.

I wont give up on him or our relationship, between the 2 of us we have blended family of 3 kids, (2 are mine{10 yo & 3 yo} and 1 his {21 yo}).

I dont want to push him and honestly I dont know what to do, how to act, what to say or anything but at the same time support him.

I wish I had researched PTSD when we first met, but he didn't show any signs or symptoms. I feel guilty cause I may have triggered things to make him go into a downward spiral. I dont know what his triggers are and I need to know how to support him emotionally, how to talk to him without pushing him away.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi, go to the supporters section and read and learn as much as you can. Talk to other supporters and get some help and support. Take care of yourself and meet your own needs. Think about getting into therapy for yourself so you have someone you can confide in. I am wishing you the best. I imagine you are feeling very overwhelmned. Big hugs.

 

[wont.give.up.on.him]

Thank you, I have been reading for 2 days straight and learned so much. I want to call, text or just see him and help but I guess from others that is the wrong thing to do. He is joining us for Thanksgiving on his own free will. I offered when he called it quits for our relationship and he gave me his answer yesterday that he will join us. Not sure if we are doing the hour drive together to my family's home or separate. I hope its not too much pressure on him. I am happy he made the choice to join us instead of being home alone.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

That is hopeful. I am happy for you. He is lucky to have you. Best wishes.

 

[Angel7]

Read my story it is ver similar and looking at others were not alone, although at the minute I feel so lonely and sad :(Hi there I am very new to these forums but seem to be reading a lot of answers to my questions.

So here goes I have been in a very fairy tale and romantic relationship for 7 years. The things we do for each other are through sheer love. Anyone looking in from outside always comment upon this, but recently things have changed from his side.

He has stopped showing feelings towards me verbally only and appears to have closed off from me. He was in Iraq for 7 years and its only upon leaving he has been fighting with these feelings. I know he suffers nightmares more so than when he was there and now when he is at work he is obsessed he can't walk away in case an incident happens.

He lashes out and says he doesn't want to be in a relationship then next were planning to move house and start again !!! He has told me he loves me but can't get the feelings back we had and is struggling harder and harder to feel it. We are so good together and laugh so much you can imagine how hard it is for me, after having an amazing 12 days together he goes back to works and says he doesn't want a relationship.

I have given him some space as he doesn't need me been all needy and spent time looking for causes of this emotional numbness, I now understand his feeling s have changed and feel since he left Iraq he shut the door to those emotions and unfortunately think my love is in there too !!!

I care so much for him and I know by ending this relationship will not be good for him as he needs a stable home. I am not sure if he knows he is suffering but he appears to be as confused as I am. I am not sure how to approach him and talk to him and try and help. I am a fighter and won't give up on him. I just need a little guidance how to do this with great sensitivity.

Hope I have made sense this is not pre planned and written as I think it, obviously there is lots more but this is outline.

Many thanks for taking time to read it hope someone can help.

 

[Angel7]

Morning everyone, well the weekend was probably the lowest I have felt!! It's almost like he has died and I am grieving, we spoke on the phone as he is still away at work and we talked about feelings and emotions. I asked him about all the symptoms he had not in a direct way but like how did you feel etc... His answer was you can read me like a book I told him about a link on emotional numbness, in hope he reads it and then all his emotions may make more sense.

I know he is beating himself up about how he feels for me he loves me but not like when we were first together, so maybe he can now start to find answers. I am not sure if will ever get him to ask someone for help but hope very much I can.

I didn't want to tell him on the phone but I really had no other way, telling someone you love something like that and you can't be there to put your arms around them was the hardest thing I I have ever done.
As of yet i have heard nothing from him since yesterday afternoon so maybe he is just doing lots of thinking. All this I have gone through makes me so determined to help him I love him so much and can't bear the thought of life without him. We will have to take each day as it comes I guess :)