Help: My Mom Does Not Take My Ptsd As A Concern...?

[Samuiii]

Hi everyone, I am new here... and it's a great relief to witness that I am not alone in this journey(to fight ptsd)!

Just to give you guys a little background about me, I knew I had a chronic depression from 2~3 years ago, and last week I have been diagnosed for PTSD. I am 21 year old, currently a college student. Since the time I began college, my symptoms got worse and big wave of PTSD symptoms came from my childhood trauma. My traumas are mostly from having alcoholic and very violent father, and as a first child in my family, I grew up taking care of my mother and my brother away from my father.

Recently, I have told my mom about me being diagnosed with PTSD and I came out from a closet for having depression. I told her that I am having a very hard time and that I would need help.

But what she has told me was... that she is stressed out with her life and for being very very busy, and that I should try not to think about my traumas and try to ignore all the feelings I have and work on my school work.
She has also told me that when she sees hearses, she feels jealous of the person that is in the coffin.

Previously she has been denying my trans identity, and told me that I was abnormal like my father. And now not taking my PTSD and depression as a concern but to tell me that she is having a hard time... makes me feel disappointed. (and more so because she is my loving mom, and I have been protecting her as a child..)

My brother has Asperger's syndrome, and it is hard for him to socially connect with me and support me with what I have. My mom is my only family, and I really want to feel like I belong somewhere.

How can I talk to my mom about my PTSD and let her know that I am really going through a tough time?

 

[seedling]

It may be hard to be able to rely on your mother for support. Especially in light of the kind of relationship you've had with her growing up - you taking care of her. It seems that she is trying to keep the status quo there.
I'm sorry that she doesn't seem to be able to deal with helping you.
Do you have a therapist that you are seeing regularly? It's great that you are seeking help and a diagnosis for yourself even though your mother's perspective is to not think about it.
Do you have friends that are supportive?

 

[WildMermaid]

Welcome to the group, it sounds like you are processing a lot right now. It hurts deeply when those we most care about can't or won't be supportive. I hope you find like minded souls here. :hug:

 

[darrenS]

sometimes people just cannot understand , it may be a safety mechanism for them , it may be that they too suffer a mental illness and are focused only on themselves. My mother does not understand at all, but im ok with it , shes had a tough time and has had enough trauma and tragedy to last a lifetime and i do understand her need to be vacant at times.

Internal pain is hard to both quantify and explain , sometimes even to ourselves. It is sometimes a lot easier to seek support elsewhere rather than trying to beat a dead horse so to speak, it only leads to further frustration and more pain. Find a good friend, a group , even a therapist. The positive thing is your young and can do many things now to save your self a life of further misery, you obviously have good insights and that in itself can help you in so many ways ...i wish you the best and truly hope you find support to help you through this.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Unfortunately you grew up being the parent to your mother. This dynamic has been going on your whole life. I'd pretty much throw away the notion that she's now going to step up and do some decent parenting.

At some point you'll realize that you don't need "blood" to feel like you belong.

 

[Neverthesame]

Sadly, you are likely to find that most people everywhere, don't get it. Sometimes because they choose to go life without any sort of empathy. Others, because they don't want to imagine what you've been through.
Some people are well... just jerks.

I would recommend just trying your best to take people's reactions to PTSD with a grain of salt. I know that is easier said than done, especially when it comes to family. But, at the end of the day. The only person who you need to worry about with regards to your mental health, is you.